Maybe You Can
November 14, 1998
I
there was so much that I wanted to tell you
but I didn’t know how to get the words out
and there was so much that I wanted to live
and there was more that I wanted to live with you
and I don’t know if anyone understands that
I’ve been angry, hurt, confused
I’ve even been smart, smarter than people like to admit
there are many pieces to my puzzle
that I think are missing
and I don’t know if you can help me with that
well, maybe you can
I’ve wanted attention for years and I’ve never
been given enough
and I’ve wanted someone to take charge of life
even though I am strong, even though I have my
head on my shoulders
we women could use that help every once in a wile
so maybe it was just that I wanted someone to
tell me I was worth something, and that I was
intelligent
and that I was beautiful
I feel like I’ve lived a hard enough life, in some
respects, and I think it’s my turn to enjoy life
for once, why can’t that happen for me?
II
I’ve gotten good over the years at being a good
liar when I have to be. And no one has to know
- and no one can know - when I’m lying or
when I’m telling the truth. As I said, I’m good
at it. Well, I have to be good at something, right?
Well, maybe I don’t have the answers to
everything. But I’ve been trying. And no one can
know how hard I tried at this game.
III
It’s good to know you were worried about me
at least I had that effect on you, at least
I still have power
but I know you’re still with her and I know you’ve
been with other women and I know that you
probably haven’t thought about me - much
well, those are the responses I expect and that
is usually the correct answer anyway
I’m sure you weren’t planning to save money and
get a job and well, support me for the rest of
our lives
I didn’t expect that of you and you know,
I didn’t expect that of anyone, for that matter
no, I haven’t expected any answers, even,
I haven’t expected that for years. But now I
want a change and I want someone to know that
and I want someone to do something about it
and I don’t think that will come from you
Copyright Janet Kuypers.
All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.
|
