My Turn
October 16, 1998
I want to get married.
Have I mentioned that before
I know it doesn’t make much sense
for me to say it, I could have been married
for years now
One person asked for my hand in marriage.
I even got a ring out of the proposal
I still have that ring
my excuse was that
the ring was also a Christmas gift
But I can’t
imagine anything ever working out in my life,
and I can’t imagine anyone with any value
wanting to share their life with me too
It would be nice to have the ceremony,
and the flowers at the aisles, and the bride
and the bridesmaids could carry flowers
and the men would have corsages, too
I wonder if they would have to pin their own
flowers on their tuxedos or if someone
would have to help them and do it for them
I don’t know enough about marriages
so I would have to ask
Maybe I’d have something written or said
during the wedding
And I would make sure that
the musician wouldn’t play any music I wouldn’t
want to hear on my wedding
I don’t know what the food would be like
at the reception
I’d have to plan that out when I actually
have the hope of getting married, I guess
I have no idea of what the honeymoon
would be like, either
I don’t know
what kind of place I’d want to go to for my
honeymoon
Someplace I haven’t been.
Someplace no one else would plan a vacation to go to
My father is arguing about an insurance bill
with someone over the phone now
This
is what I’m reduced to
Listening
to conversations that may or may not
have something to do with me
I’m wondering when it’s going to be my turn
I’m wondering when the bad news for me if going to stop
I’m wondering if there’s any chance I won’t always be
alone
I’m wondering if there’s anyone out there
for me
When does it become my turn
Copyright Janet Kuypers.
All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.
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