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video videonot yet rated
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Californium in Nashville 10/26/13 in her Nashville Halloween feature
video videonot yet rated
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her “Periodic Table” poems (and two original songs) live in her Chicago 10/20/13 feature Nashville Halloween feature, including this writing
Nashville Halloween feature chapbookNashville Halloween feature chapbook
Download this free chapbook of the
Nashville Halloween feature,
w/ Tag Team and Periodic Table poems in this show.
video Enjoy this YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her v231 5/25 Down in the Dirt issue/book “The Earth Colony” & “Periodic Table Poetry” poem “Californium” (+ showing the poem image & 10/26/13 Nashville feature poem image), then her “The Earth Colony” & “Twitter Verse Periodic Table Poetry” poems “Californium’s a double-edged swordvideo (+ the poem image) & “Californium-252: communication, thanks to nuclear” (+ showing the poem image) during her “Poetic License 5/4/25 Global Open Mic” she hosted through Zoom & a Facebook event page (Panasonic Lumix FZ 300 camera; on Facebook, Twitter/X, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram, & Tumblr).
Also enjoy this as a Facebook live video stream that was filmed & streamed from a Samsung S24 camera; posted on Facebook, Twitter/X, LinkedIn, Instagram, & Tumblr. #janetkuypers #janetkuyperstwitterverseperiodictablepoem #janetkuypersperiodictablepoem #janetkuypersbookreading #janetkuyperspoetry #janetkuyperspoeticlicense

Californium

Janet Kuypers
from the “Periodic Table of Poetry” series (#98, Cf)
reflecting on the poem “i am the woman who loves pain”
10/23/13

They tell me that I am settling.
They tell me this is not love.

I keep telling myself
there’s nothing natural about you,
but when I try to take you in,
it seems you work your way
deep into my bones
and I just can’t get rid of you.

It’s like I just can’t get
of the idea of you
out of my head.

But you try to tear me apart
if you ever actually stay with me.

So when it comes to you,
I seem to be
the woman who loves pain.

Because I know you’ll do
the same things,
act the same way.
I’ve gotten used to it.

I look for you,
and whenever I find you...
Everything tarnishes
when we’re together,
but... I don’t know any better.
I don’t know how to stay away.

They keep telling me
that this is not love.

But I’ve never felt love,
and although I am hurting with you,
it’s better than hurting alone.

And you always leave
before I get the chance
to feel attached,
you think,
so you turn away
and you belive
you leave scott-free.
So, okay.
If that is what you do,
then... Don’t worry.
Despite what you do,
despite how you always
seem to react so much
when you’re with me,
I’ll still go across the country for you
I don’t know how many times.
I see your lights,
I see your glow,
because you still
intrigue me so.

I can’t help it.
I don’t know any better.
I must love this pain.
I keep coming back for more.

 

Californium Californium Californium Californium Californium Californium Californium Californium

Californium Californium Californium Californium Californium


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