Against My Will (2022)
Janet Kuypers
2/10/22
edited from her summer 1999 poem “Against my Will”
There have been so many times
When I was raped
When a man
Held me down
Forced himself on me
Against my will
That way is just to obvious
And the “someone tried
to beat me up”?
That is old news
If you have done this research
If you have gone through this
If you have lived this life...
But I should be above this
I should be a Feminist
With a capital F
I guess with that in mind
I should not mind the cat calls
Or the whistles
Or the fact that the word “woman”
Is the word “man”
With a couple of letters tacked on
Like how “she” is “he” with an “s”
Like we’re an extension of them
Or the fact that men
First look at me
By looking at my breasts
And not my eyes
I should be aware
That a woman with power
Instills fear
And a woman with power in a company
Can still be demoted outside of the company
Where she can still be ridiculed
I can handle the jokes
About being a blond
Or being dumb
Or being both
I can hear the line
they say insultingly
That we HAVE to be irrational
Because we are so damn emotional
I mean
How do you trust someone
who bleeds for five days every month
And won’t die?
Fine
If they want to degrade
Everything that makes us strong
Fine
If they say we can not hold a job
Fine
We will just depend on you for money
And also work our jobs
On our time
And keep money for OUR little nest-egg
And how much money
are you boys going to have
when it comes to the end of your family line?
How much of a life
are you boys going to have
when it comes to the end of your family line?
How much happiness?
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