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They Key to Believingchapter 16
The TransformationA meticulously crafted and carefully maintained business suit hung on a padded hanger just outside her closet door when she woke up that Monday morning, ready to close the debate on the book. Walking into the lab with the confidence of the leader of a pack of wild animals, Sloane only dropped off her coat and briefcase in her office before she turned around and left to confer with people about the upcoming book choices. She didn’t even listen to the one voice mail message waiting for her. Both Kyle and Howard saw her walking into the lab and started walking in the same direction. Neither one of them said a word before they both simultaneously reached her. Howard spoke first. “Have you talked to Mr. Madison?” “Are we going to actually change publishers?” Kyle followed. “Hello, boys,” Sloane said in response. “What is the word?” Howard asked, as Ellen caught them talking and stood up to walk over. “There is a message on my voice mail, and I’m sure it’s from Colin. I feel like making him wait for a few minutes before I respond, you know, give him a little more time on his own to think about our options.” “You’re pushing him -- but are you going to push him too far?” Kyle asked. “I think I’ve learned how far I can push him, and I’m hell-bent on getting Carter back on with Quentin for publishing our book, and I am going to convince them that I’m serious today.” She walked over to where Kyle was working, leaving them all behind. She finally turned around and said for half the room to hear, “Is anyone getting to work? Kyle should be telling me about the new lab test results.” The three of them stood there with their eyes wide open, before Kyle almost ran to where she was standing. “I’m sorry, chief... The tests were okay, but I think there’s going to be too much of an issue with allergic reactions to this --” Kyle pointed to a particular spot at a diagram of the base compound, “part of the drug.” “What was the word on Ellen’s drug?” “It was sent to the F.D.A. for approval a while ago, but we haven’t heard anything from them either way. I know they can drag their feet, but I don’t know how long they’ll take.” Kyle could see the slight look of disappointment in her face, but he also sensed that she wasn’t going to let anything stop her. “Okay, then back to the allergic reaction possibility in the drug. What sort of possible reactions are we talking about here?” “Depending on the base we pulled this from, it will either be moodiness or a slight non-itchy rash on the hands.” “That’s not too severe, considering what people have to go through if they contract AIDS. The rash or mood swings wouldn’t be permanent, would they?” “I don’t think so. I think it would last until the body acclimated itself to the drug, which would be less than a week.” “That’s a relief, because I don’t think people would want to live with a rash for a vaccine they may never need...” “Good point...” After Kyle agreed with her, she looked at the clock on the wall, which read 9:26. “This seems like a good time to check my voice mail and start something with Colin, don’t you think?” “Are you just looking for a fight?” No,” she responded as she walked toward her office. “A solution.” “She’s pushing for it,” Kyle said under his breath as he collected his notes from the vaccine results. After clicking on her voice mail to receive her messages, she heard only one: This is Colin. I just read your message after I got a voice mail from David French at Quentin. I have talked to Mr. French and I’d like to discuss some changes, meet me in my office at 10:00 a.m. Colin was fully prepared to have his secretary go to her lab and get her if she didn’t report to him, but Sloane thought she’d call to confirm the meeting. “Colin Madison’s office.” “Yes, hello, this is Sloane Emerson.” “Hello, you have a scheduled --” “I have a meeting scheduled with Colin, and I am calling to confirm it.” “You will be here then?” “Yes. I’ll see you then.” “Thank you, Ms. Emerson.” After hanging up the phone, she saw that she’d have to be there in less than twenty minutes. Still feeling like she was a warrior on a conquest, she walked to Kyle’s seat at the lab table and started talking. “Kyle, check to see which herb that extra part to the compound came from, and see what effects this herb currently has on other people. If these effects are not as strong as what you’re suggesting, see if the there are any additional features in the herb that negate the side effect you’re afraid of. We could be using a larger part of the herb in question if that will make the compound better. Also, we need to do some testing for effects if you think the result may be a rash, because that is something we could do more animal tests on to verify the human reaction.” Starting to walk away, she continued, almost as if she didn’t need to breathe to keep speaking. “I have to meet with Colin about the book now, but right now you need to look for additional aspects of what could be deactivated with the virus in order to make it usable for humans. I’ve been doing research on how flu vaccines are created as off-shoots of the virus in question, and I think you could get that same information off the Internet and come up with ideas of what we should be doing for the HIV vaccine.” Kyle was stunned and attempted to take notes as she left the room for Colin’s office. Julie was also ten feet behind him, guessing that she would be doing some of the Internet collecting for Kyle. By the time she walked up to Colin’s front entranceway with his secretary sitting at a desk before his door, ut was 9:56 in the morning. She was once again early and was ready to either (1) take her punishment, or (2) tell him how everything is going to done. She was hoping she wouldn’t hear option (3) that nothing can be done and that Madison Pharmaceuticals would either delay this book or throw it away altogether. “Excuse me, I’m here to see Mr. Madison.” “Just one moment please,” the receptionist said, as she pressed a button one her phone to call Colin. Sloane walked away as she heard him speaking in the background. When she heard the receptionist press more buttons, she turned around to hear whether or not she would have to wait. “You may go in,” the receptionist told her. Running her hand down the front of her fitted jacket to make sure it was straight and knowing her hair was in place, she turned the handle of his door with her free hand. Knowing the door would start to close on its own once she opened it, she confidently strode into his office, right up to his desk. She remained silent until she was at his desk with her right hand stretched out to shake his hand. “Mr. Madison,” she confidently said. “Sloane,” Colin said, shaking her hand, “please sit down.” As She sat at the chair in front of his desk, Colin began to confront her. He picked up the memo and threw it down at the front edge of his desk so she could see it and said, “Care to explain this to me?” “I wrote this memo to make something change so Madison wouldn’t continue to stagnate in this project. So, you called me here to either reprimand me,” and Sloane started to smirk as she finished her sentence, “or you brought me here to tell me what will change. Which is it?” She leaned back when she finished her statement and prepared herself to hold the same expression on her face if he would fire her for what she had done. “You know I was irate when I read your last memo,” Colin started. “But before I jumped to conclusions, I had to agree with the fact that this book needs to get out if we are producing the vitamin supplements right now. Sot I looked through recent memos from you, ones from the past three weeks, and then I started to see the disgusting number of problems you have had with Quentin.” “Quentin is not the problem, sir.” “I wouldn’t have looked into that topic if you hadn’t put it in your memo to me today. I scanned back and noticed that there were no memos to Mr. Donovan about problems with getting the book done, and after I called you for a 10:00 meeting, I looked through the memos, I saw that the problems that you discovered seemed to stem from Shelly Stempel. Now, I can’t say Ms. Stempel is the problem entirely, but I can see that the book was ready to go with Mr. Donovan, and I trust your statements that the books he has spearheaded in the past have been successful. So...” Turning her head down slightly, she almost coyly asked, “Yes?” “So there was a voice mail waiting for me when I got into the office. Along with your memo I had a message from Mr. French at Quentin, and he seemed more interested in keeping us than he did in seeing what the problem was with Ms. Stempel. He stressed to me that placing Ms. Stempel in Mr. Donovan’s position was only temporary, but he hoped he could explain to me why Mr. Donovan was put on leave in the first place.” “I could understand his compassion, sir, but was he aware that I personally went to New York to help Mr. Donovan remain in almost perfect condition despite the attack?” “Yes, I let him know. Now, do you really think Mr. Donovan can do this in his present condition?” “Seeing that I have made a personal and professional decision to check on his activities since he has been given initial injections, and yes, I have even flown there weekly on my strapped budget to make sure he was doing everything he could to make himself remain well, I am certain of it.” Sloane stopped to adjust her position in the chair and lean forward before she finished her thought. “I think working would even put him in better health by keeping his mind off of personal matters.” She leaned back. “And we can’t say this publicly, but he is a perfect case of what following the book’s guideline can do for a person.” Closing her hands over her lap, she waited for Colin’s last words. “Do you know what I hate about you?” “Hmm ... let me think ... there are so many choices...” “I hate the fact that you’re usually right in your arguments. You don’t make rash decisions, and everything you do is planned. It’s almost like arguing with a computer...” “Is that a compliment, or should I be offended at coming off as inhuman?” “Oh, it’s just that you remind me of what I should be looking for.” “You know Colin, you sounded like you were coming to a conclusion about this book before.” Colin leaned back to finish his speech. “What I was going to tell you is this: it may only be for this one book, but Mr. French is getting Mr. Donovan back to complete it for us.” She didn’t move, but only smirked, without parting her lips. “Fantastic. Has the staff in the offices at Quentin been told?” “They should have been told this morning.” “Has Mr. Donovan been informed?” “I think Mr. French was going to have someone contact him at home, leave a message if he wasn’t there, but he should have been informed.” “Splendid.” Sloane couldn’t think of any other words to show her joy, making it look more like relief. “I’ll have to contact Mr. Donovan this afternoon to see what steps need to be taken to send the completed book to press.” She rose to leave. “Is there anything else you need?” “No, just send me a report of the printing of the book.” “I will sir, and thank you.” She then turned around and walked toward his door. Just as she was about to turn the handle to open the door to leave, she heard, “Oh, Sloane?” Turning around, she answered, “Yes?” “Stop looking so cocky.” Grinning, she turned around in silence and left his office. She had to keep herself from grinning until then, because she wanted to hear his answer and leave his office before she reacted. She almost sprinted back to her lab through the hallways, attempting to unbutton the blazer she had been wearing tightly all morning. As she got to the lab, she first had to check her office desk to see if she could contact Carter. Spotting and then closing her list of Carter’s weekly condition list and reminding herself that his T-Cell count was increasing again sine the first week, she also spotted one message on her voice mail, and so she listened to it. I don’t know what you did, angel, but if you don’t know it yet, I am back on force with your book. And I’ll make sure the thing can go to press this Sunday, so we don’t waste another minute. And oh, if you’re interested, I’ll print up a copy of all the stuff Shelly tried to pull over on you with the book, you know, for some hysterical keepsake. Well, it’ll be great to work with you again, so call me when you get this message. Laughing while she listened to the message, she decided to call him back from within the lab, after she told everyone the news. Storming out into the lab, she grabbed a cordless phone and ran to an empty table, telling everyone to get together. Using a stool to step up onto the table, she got on the table and waited for everyone to gather around her. “I know, I know, I’m standing on a table, but I had one question for you all: what are you doing this evening? Because I just found out that Mr. Donovan is back on for completing The Battle from the Inside, so the book will actually get done quickly!” Most of the technicians started clapping when they heard the news. Kyle and Howard -- and even Ellen and Julie -- were grinning with joy at the news. “So... I can’t afford to pull off a party like our boss, but would everyone like to stop for a drink after work and I could buy a round?” About half of the people said they could make it, and everyone was extremely pleased with the news. Kyle’s phone started to ring, and he ran over to take the call. Sloane could only hear the tail end of him talking. “Steve, hi! ... You won’t believe the news ... we’re going out tonight because the book is going to get done ... yeah, Sloane over here sent a raging memo and it apparently worked--” At this point Sloane ran up to the phone and took it out of Kyle’s hands. “Hey, it’s Sloane. Is it you, Steve?” “Yeah, hi, is the news true?” Kyle only heard the end of their conversation. “You know my friend who was working on the book but got pulled because of the attack? ... And then all of the delays we have had with the new freak on the job? ... Yeah, you heard me, she was a freak ... Well, I just sent a ’raging memo’, as Kyle put it, and the head of Quentin saw it too, and he said that for at least this book Mr. Donovan could complete it! ... Yeah, I haven’t even called him to check out information, but hey, we’re going to go to that place we went to for drinks and that cookies-and-cream martini, so show up there and celebrate with us! ... Okay, call later, or show up here, I’ll give you back to Kyle...” She handed Kyle the phone back, giggling. Sloane went to the cordless phone in her hand and immediately dialed Carter’s house, knowing the number by heart. “Hello?” “Mister Cater Donovan you may want to start answering your phone like it’s your business line, seeing that this is the second business call you’ve received at home today...” “Hello, Ms. Sloane Emerson, are you on speaker phone, because I can hear a lot of noise in the background.” “No, I’m on a cordless phone in the lab because I just found out and I just told everyone that you’re back on with the book. ...And how do you feel about this?” “It’s phenomenal and you know it... How did you pull it off?” “I threatened to move our book to another printing company unless you came back. I even got quotes from ten other companies.” “You’re kidding me...” “You know I’m a woman who gets her way, Carter.” “Well, girl, I don’t know what to say.” Say you’ll call me back with a schedule of when the book will print and when we’ll see the book -- is it going to be off of the original version we had with you?” “Of course it will be, and I’ll guess we’ll have it to press by next Sunday or Monday.” She was walking back to her office so she could finish the conversation without anyone hearing. “Since I am meeting with the swami about martial arts for AIDS patients, we could even swing having Quentin carting me to you, and then we’ll go together to Ohio ... Please tell me we can do that...” “I’ll do what I can to make it happen, and thank you.” “Thank you, Carter. And wait, one more thing.” “Yes?” “I love you.” “Did you just say that in front of everyone in the lab?” “I walked back into my office, silly. Now get some rest before you work on our book. I’ll talk to you soon --” This is how they hurriedly said good-bye to each other as they planned for the rest of the day. Through the afternoon, Kyle and Sloane worked on solutions of the potential vaccine problem Kyle had pointed out. Carter called her office at the end of the New York business day and told her that the press printing would start this Sunday if they would have a finished book by that date. She said that they should get copies of materials over to us for a final check, and his people should look over the original manuscript to see if any changes needed to be made. “You know Carter, maybe changes Stempel made should be checked against original copy, to see which is better.” “You’re not suggesting that we should change our minds on how the book is written -- or worse yet, how it looks?” “I was just saying it was a way to check to see if anything else was better...” “Got it then, girl. You should have our completed copy by Wednesday morning. I’ll send a package if the layout has changed from what we had by then, and you’ll get a copy then too. Can you go over it and return it to us with changes Friday by the end of our day here?” “We can make it happen. I was planning on getting a flight to New York to see the rep for martial arts education this Saturday. How can we pull this off?” “I think your company can pull off you coming to check pages at our offices this weekend before Quentin flies you to the press check Sunday, okay? I’ll make sure of it, and I’ll even see if we can get you to come to New York a day early to check colors on pages.” Knowing she could be checking page colors in Ohio at the press, she said, “Don’t tell them I could check colors in Ohio when I show up, so we can pull it off.” “Of course, angel. I’ll call you or leave a voice mail to let you know in the next day. Otherwise, check Madison’s flight schedule in case Quentin can’t pull it off for you.” Spending the remaining day working with Kyle, she was surprised that she was suddenly so open to new ideas and was suddenly so strong in assisting in getting this vaccine done. The end of the day approached, and Sloane told people to just bug her at the bar for a drink and she’d make sure a drink would be put on her tab. Half of the staff arrived at the bar/restaurant by 5:30 and Sloane instantly ordered her drink of choice, the cookies-and-cream martini. Before she was even ready to take the glass from the bar to have a drink, Kyle watched as Steve walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, saying to the bartender, “This martini of hers is on me.” Turning around to see Steve was unnecessary when she recognized his voice. “That wasn’t necessary, you know...” “But I know that you wanted to get this book done, and I’m hoping the news has something to do with the condition of your friend.” “Mr. Donovan, you mean?” Kyle said, and then remained silent, as he was still stunned that Steve was holding Sloane and she was not protesting. She whipped around, breaking from Steve, to look him in the eye and tell him, “That’s the good news, Steve. Mr. Donovan is doing so well that I pretty much forced my president’s hand and sent info to the head of Quentin, and they’re letting Mr. Donovan finish our book.” “Really?” “Yeah, and I’ve been checking on his condition, I think it was because he was paying attention of our book we were publishing, and he is in such great shape that work would be good for him and we could finally get the book out.” “I heard you were there though to help him that first day...” “My business card was in his wallet, so they called me. I even called Kyle here,” she glanced at Kyle while she was finishing her statement, “to see about shocking Mr. Donovan’s system with an overload of the drugs. Though it didn’t kill the virus in his system, it seems to have had a great effect and he is doing remarkably well now because of it.” “That’s remarkable, I’m thrilled for you,” Steve said as he hugged her, then kissing her cheek and forehead. Kyle still couldn’t believe what he was seeing, and with every moment it got more shocking to him. Catching his look of disbelief, she looked over and tried to glance at him to let him know that everything was okay. A Few minutes later Kyle was able to approach her separately and drill her. “What was that all about?” “We get along now. I’ve been able to talk to him, and that’s really cool.” “But you’re acting like a little tramp when you’re around him.” “Kyle, I would have to be sleeping with him if I was a tramp...” Kyle’s face went blank. “You’re not sleeping with him, are you?” “I look like a tramp, huh? ... Remember that it might be possible to get along with Steve without having to sleep with him,” she said, smiling, as someone else approached and started talking to her. Her remark still didn’t tell him that she hadn’t had sex with Steve, so Kyle was still both curious and confused. She even turned toward him and added. “This good news today has let me focus on my work, and I think we’ve been doing well because of it. Maybe I’m looking flirty because something is going right for us ... And I can be this way.” The next few days were laced with confirmations of Quentin paying for Sloane to come into New York on Saturday to look over pages before the book was printed. Her flight arrived in New York Saturday mid-morning, but they wouldn’t cover her hotel, so she chose to sleep on Carter’s couch the night she was in town. They seemed to be making great progress with the vaccine that week, but Sloane had to leave that weekend for New York before heading to Ohio. She even checked with Carter to see if they should have another staff member for Madison show up at the press run, and Carter was trying to swing it if Kyle could come for a day He would only hear Saturday about Kyle, so they checked with Kyle if he would be free, in case they were only able to get him to come that late. Once she was in the airport early Saturday morning, she realized she still felt waves of panic and being watched, but she noticed it especially when she was either entirely alone in the dark or in an airport when there were security guards checking people at every hallway. She felt this panic again, but tried to keep herself in check, keep her head high, and walk with confidence when she walked through all gates and checkpoints. On the plane she felt a bit more relaxed, because she knew there was no reason for anyone to stop her, and she knew she would see Carter in just a few hours. Checking herself in the bathroom mirror twice for misplaced hairs, and trying to adjust what little make-up she had on, she still couldn’t help but fidget through the entire flight. All she could do was go through her notes for things to help Carter: Diet changes Addition of soy, garlic, tomatoes Additional protein Red meats, cut the fat from them No alcohol Vitamin pills Multi, additional B complex, C, D, E Exercise Weights Small repetitions of slight calisthenics Relaxation Focus on single point to relax Talk to swami about martial arts and yoga Work - get back in workplace) 6 hours a day max for being able to work (Do not overextend) All she could do to keep herself from trying to tuck her hair behind her ears was to concentrate solely on her work, so that she wouldn’t have to check her looks again before she got off the airplane. Walking down the jet way with the other passengers, Sloane felt a rush of emotions: she didn’t know whether she should feel confidence of performing a job well and accomplishing a goal, or concern and desire to make Carter feel better. For a split second it didn’t even cross her mind that she wanted to see the man she loved, all that consumed for was making him feel better. Carter stood in the back of a crowd at LaGuardia National Airport. He knew he couldn’t wait by the terminal she was being released from; without a ticket himself he could only stand before the security point. He felt like Hell, standing there by himself, sheepishly waiting for a girl to come into town, but he couldn’t stand the wait for his chance to see her again, even if only for business and even if he could only hold her hand and kiss her in passing. Lifting his head to see people coming through the gateway in a wave, he didn’t see her. “That must be from a different flight,” he thought, as he dropped his head again. He didn’t see Sloane coming through behind the tall group of men walking in front of her, but she spotted him and went right up to him before he had the chance to lift his head. “I don’t want to kiss you, because then I’d have to close my eyes. And I don’t want to stop looking at you.” Smiling at his comments, she said, “How do you come up with the things you say?” “I don’t know ... I just say what I feel. But either way, we have to worry about going to meet the swami today.” “What time are we supposed to meet?” “In about an hour, but he’s on the other side of town, and it will take forever to get there.” They started walking together toward the baggage claim. “I’ve also got materials to collect for the Ohio printing, but I can take care of that later. And you’re already packed for it, so you’re beating me on this one.” “We just have to figure out what questions we should be asking and what information we could get that might help you out today.” They waited at the baggage claim waiting for her one bag, and he asked, “What is this guy’s name anyway?” “I wrote it in my notes, it was ’Nuan’ or something. I’ll get it out of my briefcase when we get into the car.” They were about to arrive at the offices. Upon going to the front desk, they asked for Mr. Xiao and were given a paper he wanted them to have. Looking at the paper, they hoped there would be some information to help them out. Swami Nuanchan Joko Xiao Qigong (also known as chi kong) This is an Asian martial art dealing with the healing of the body through maintaining the proper balance of qi. There are two types of qi - fire and water. Water qi is what everyone is born with while we get fire qi from what we take into our body. Reducing stress is one of the key benefits realized by practicing qigong. Stress is reduced through meditation and exercise. Meditation is performed in the conventional understanding of what meditation is - sitting or lying while trying to clear one’s mind. The physical exercise is an extension of the stationary meditation and is comprised of performing various breathing exercises. Additionally, forms (prearranged movements designed to use all parts of the body) are performed to energize the body and help maintain clear qi channels. One of the most basic teachings is breathing properly. Most Americans do not take deep breaths while breathing and are therefore not using their entire lung capacity. This shallow breathing is also thought to diminish the body’s ability to cleanse itself of excessive fire qi. This imbalance is believed to be the root of many stress related illnesses and also contributes to inhibiting the body’s immune system. Meditation The human qi must also be maintained in harmony with the earth’s magnetic fields. This requires that while meditating in the sitting or standing position it is important that one be facing north. While lying and meditating, or while sleeping, it is important that ones head be at the north end in the northern hemisphere. In the southern hemisphere all directions are reversed. Also, as prescribed by a doctor, meditating facing a particular direction may be necessary to address a specific physical or mental ailment. In all cases meditation is best performed in a sitting position with ones back erect, legs folded either under the body or cross-legged, chin up and pulled in, mouth slightly open and eyes closed. A humming noise can be made to stimulate a relaxation response. Also, meditation should be performed in a quiet room, if noise is desired do not select loud or rhythmic music. Light music with a soft syncopated sound is better as it does not distract the mind from its journey but helps to guide it along its course to understanding what is to be done or to allow it to perform the work it must. When starting out with meditation, it is a difficult concept to understand, you are attempting to “do” nothing. Doing nothing is not to be confused with idly watching television or sleeping. In sleeping and television viewing you are an inactive participant in the former and a passive spectator in the latter. In meditating you are actively “doing nothing.” That is to say you have chosen to perform this specific activity for a given period of time to achieve a specific result. In more advanced meditation one can begin to control physiological functions of the body including but not limited to, controlling ones body temperature, controlling ones heartbeat, controlling ones rate of healing. When one is cleansing the body of that which is causing it problems: this is termed bone and marrow washing. It does not mean that the bone and marrow is the target of the meditation but that the body has something in it the must be eliminated. It is intriguing to note that the term “bone and marrow washing” was in use thousands of years before humans knew through western scientific methods that the bones and more specifically the marrow is where our white blood cells come from and that the white blood cells are the main line of defense against illness and disease. “Hello,” the swami said, seeing the two people waiting at the front. They both stood. Sloane was closer, so she extended her hand to shake hands. “Hello, it is nice to meet you.” “I hear you have some questions, so maybe we could go into my office and talk about what might be most helpful.” The swami, Nuanchan Joko Xiao, turned around and guided them toward the back of the building to an empty conference room with shelves of books and a large table. “We haven’t met before. My name is Nuanchan, it is very nice to meet you.” “Hello. My name is Carter Donovan, and this is Sloane Emerson.” “Yes, I believe I spoke to a woman before.” “That was me,” Sloane said. “I believe you wanted to learn about meditation for work you are doing for people with diseases.” “Actually, it was for AIDS patients specifically, and yes.” “Have you read the sheet I saved for you?” “Yes,” Carter answered. “If you noted, we do use methods to cleanse the body, but we do not necessarily have therapies for all illnesses.” Nuanchan said. “Using the practice of ’bone and marrow washing’ may possibly help if the patient is truly understanding of the practices and truly believes in the philosophies that this world stems from.” Sloane started saying, “The patients we are interested in supporting want to learn about any method at all to help them. They are doing remarkably well right now, but they would like to learn about anything possible they can do to help themselves.” “Many people look at our practices, however, and think they can sit in a corner and not pay attention to anything, and call that meditation. These people have no idea what it involves, and you don’t know if your patients would be that interested in these studies” “I can check right now about their opinion,” she said. “I am sure they would like to learn anything that would help them,” Carter said immediately after she spoke, answering her question about whether or not Carter would really want to go through this. Carter turned back toward Nuanchan and spoke directly to him. “I personally would be very interested in learning everything I can about what to do for a patient. I would be willing to go through all of the necessary training for any techniques that can help a patient.” “It is easier to teach these things to the patient directly, though.” Carter looked at her, and then back to Nuanchan. “I am the patient.” Nuanchan looked at her, then to Carter, then finally spoke. “This lady was correct in stating that her patient looks remarkably well.” “I was just diagnosed four weeks ago, ten hours after I was infected by a mugging where an attacker injected a needle into my arm. I have been extremely lucky with western medications that I have received, I have been able to work again, and I have altered my diet and exercise accordingly. But I would like to work on any and all methods to help my body to physically get through this virus, and I truly believe that this may be an effective method.” Sloane interjected, “So we were interested in knowing about how Yoga and meditation would help a patient.” “Alright,” Nuanchan stated. “Yoga is a difficult practice to understand. It is an art of positioning and holding your body in various ways, ways that may possibly be physically difficult for you, but it is an art of having your mind convince your body that it can do these things. It is like exercise, but not cardiovascular, it is basically a repeated seminar on how to train your body to behave the way your mind tells it to.” “That sounds like it relates to the way meditation is your mind controlling your body, according to this sheet you gave us,” she said. “Okay then ... What do you know about meditation already?” She sat back and fell silent, only quietly taking notes, while the rest of the discussion followed between Carter and Nuanchan. “Actually, I am afraid that I do not know much at all about it,” Carter started. “I knew before I walked in here that meditation should be done when sitting, with your back straight, your surroundings should be silent, your legs crossed, lotus position being better than merely cross-legged, and resting your hands with you palm facing-up on your legs. I have heard about having your fingers in a certain position, but I don’t know what it is, and it looks a bit silly, especially when I don’t know why it should be that way.” “... And?” “And ... and you close your eyes, and somehow do everything in your power to think about nothing. I don’t know how to do that, because my mind always darts from one thing to the next, even if I have no reason to think about these things, but that is what it does. And that lasts about twenty minutes.” “Oh.” “That’s pretty much all I know. Am I wrong?” “You seem to have a pretty good idea of how to meditate. But I can instruct you on what measures you can take to clear your head so you can properly meditate.” “Oh, I forgot to mention, I do believe the human mind has power over its own body, and I can attest to it with one experience I’ve had. I know that when I want to relax, I create this story, it will sound strange, and” Carter completely forgot that Sloane was in the room as he started talking. “This is something I would do that would relax me when I wanted to fall asleep. I imagined that I was in a bed the size of an elevator, and I had no idea what the surroundings looked like, that was never the point, but the elevator would go down ten floors, and each floor would be an instruction to let another part of my body relax. It would start from the feet, then calves, then thighs, and then the pelvis. Then it would move to stomach, chest, arms, shoulders, neck, then head. Those were the ten floors the elevator would move down, and basically I could stay as long as I needed to achieve the relaxation on that part of my body before I would move on.” “That’s very interesting,” Nuanchan said. Sloane scribbled violently. “I would invariably fall asleep by the time I reached my calves, so I know it was effectively relaxing me. The thing I remember most though is that when I would start with my feet, they would become so relaxed that, well, I don’t know how to explain it, but the blood would tingle.” “You moved your blood to that part of your body.” “And that somehow relaxed me?” “That is one way your mind can focus energy on a certain part of the body - by drawing heat to it, which often comes as blood.” “And the thing was, when I moved from one part of my body to the next, like up to my calves, the tingling feeling would stay on my feet and then it would just more or less grow to the next part of my body. I’ve only made it up so far as my neck or head maybe twice in my life, but I know that while doing this, I would check to see if the rest of me was relaxed, and it seemed to need me to check by thinking about that part of my body again for the tingling to become stronger.” “The human mind can’t focus energy on all parts of your body at once by giving more blood to all parts of your body when all of your body needs blood, but deciding to check on another part of your body, made your mind force your energies to move there, making blood levels change.” Sloane loved hearing these conversations, but had to interject to help them stay on track. “Excuse me, but I don’t understand how this works in attempting to help the body overcome illnesses.” “Part of the understanding,” Nuanchan answered, “is being able to understand that your mind does have control over your physical body. If you are unable to do that, then you may be unable to let you body work on healing your injuries.” Nuanchan continued talking to both Carter and Sloane. “If you would like, we could go try to see is we can effectively meditate now.” “That would be wonderful,” Carter said. All she could think was that she had never been able to clear her mind, so she didn’t think she could do it. A half hour later, both Sloane and Carter were sitting on the floor lotus style, both had their hands open, and both were breathing deeply. Carter had his eyes closed and was able to meditate, while Sloane could not stop thinking about things -- anything at all, anything from the book production to helping Carter feel better to stopping the government from hurting people with this virus to coming up with medication, a vaccine, or a cure for AIDS. She couldn’t clear her mind and Nuanchan knew this as well. Just as Carter sat there on the floor in the room, Nuanchan quietly stood. Sloane heard him and opened her eyes. He made a gesture to leave and she quietly followed on his lead. He quietly walked her into the next room and then started to speak. “I know you were having a difficult time working to consciously not think about anything, so I had an idea of a step that may help you get to that point. Read this sheet and tell me what you think.” Nuanchan handed her a sheet with information on how she should imagine a perfect scene; it would be a scene that only she would be in, and she would be able to relax in her surroundings with no one to disturb her. She thought about what that scene would be for her, but she didn’t know why she needed to imagine this. It told her in the reading that while she is at that scene, there is a possibility that she could imagine someone else coming up to her; but if they appeared they would be there to tell her something. At this point she was fascinated, and she wanted to know who this potential mystery person would be. Nuanchan knew it was her soul, and it would be appearing before her to tell her what she needed to know. But she had to be able to get to that, where she could talk to her soul until her soul told her what she needed. “Okay,” she said to Nuanchan, “what do I do?” “Alright, imagine your place. It could be your dream house, or a boat, or a beach, or even the top of a skyscraper. Now get comfortable in your place, image yourself in a bathtub at your house, or at your desk in the high rise, and just get comfortable there. Relax and feel all of your surroundings. Feel the water from the wind in the boat, or the wood grain on the railing in your home, and just feel everything about it. Get used to the feeling and just relax in the place you want to be.” “And a person may come along?” “In the future, there may be a chance someone will come along. But you have to envision that person, you don’t know who it is, and it won’t be someone you know. Don’t worry about that until you have come to this place a few times, because there’s a good chance they may not come around right away.” “Why not?” “I don’t know, maybe they’re shy, but when they get comfortable with you in this place, they may come to visit you.” Nuanchan stood up and motioned to her to leave the room with him. “Now, I’ll turn the lights off so you can imagine your scene better. You don’t need to tell anyone about your place, because it’s yours, and just relax. If it’s not working for you, just open the door and I’ll be in this next room, otherwise I’ll open the door after a half hour.” With those words Nuanchan turned the lights off and left the room. Alone in the dark, she felt for a place to lie down. She thought it would be best to lie down if she wanted to relax. She had to work on a scene that she wanted to go to, and all she could think of was a beach. She started to get the picture in her mind: the sand was not white, but beige, there were occasional remains of coral and shells from long dead creatures at the side of the beach where the waves had thrown them toward the land. The one side of land was covered in tall bushes and foliage, so no one could see in or out of her area. The ground was otherwise clear of debris, and the water was making a beautiful crashing noise, though the tide was not coming too close to her. The sun was setting over the water. All she felt was the warmth of the sun setting and a slight breeze coming from off the ocean. Her skin was touching the sand, and it felt rough, but beautifully tiny and smooth as each grain of sand ran along her skin when she moved. The gentle breeze carried the humidity of the water to her; all she had to do was lay there and enjoy the beach, enjoy the water, the sun, the air and the sand. It felt exquisite to her. Deciding to lift her head up in her imagination, she looked down the beach and saw that the beach never ended. In the distance was a pier, but there were no boats and no people at the pier. After thinking about it, she only occasionally heard the call and circle of a bird, but none that ever got too close to her for her to even notice. Looking behind her, she only saw more beach, with one set of large rocks imbedded into the shape of a pier in the distance. Otherwise everything was clear, and this was her space. And she liked it. She lay there and enjoyed the scene. All she thought about was having this space to herself, and not having to answer to anyone here. There were no phone calls, no computers, no tables, and no people. She decided this was a good place to go. Sloane stood up at her scene and walked slowly toward the water. She got as far as the water’s edge; she wasn’t wearing shoes so she stepped into the wet sand, felt the wet sand getting between her toes, and stepped into the lapping water at the shoreline. It felt a little cold, but it felt good, like it was a new sensation for her to enjoy. Kicking the inch of water with her foot, she stepped out of the water and sat back down to look out at the ocean. I needed this, she thought. Forgetting how long she was at the beach, the door opened. Nuanchan said, “Hello?” Sloane jerked up from her reclined position. “Yes?” “Carter is finished meditating and you have been in here a half hour.” She immediately got up and straightening her clothes. She had no idea she had been in the room so long.
Nuanchan explained to Carter methods of yoga that would induce relaxation and mind/body harmony. After they finished these techniques, and after they had gone through a stack of brochures that Nuanchan copied and explained to them, they thought that they were ready to move on. They thanked him profusely, and went back to Carter’s home. In the car, Sloane started scribbling notes again. “You think you might forget something?” Carter asked. “I just want to make sure I’ve got everything down that could possibly be needed or remembered. What did you think of the meditation and yoga?” “I thought it was remarkable, actually. The exercises for bone and marrow washing, if I can do them properly, might actually do me some good.” “I’m really think it will, darling,” she answered, because if thinking it will help is half the battle, then he is on the right track.
Sunday morning Carter and Sloane left together for the airport for Ohio. On the afternoon flight, Sloane was able to sit next to Carter, and for most of the flight he held her hand. “You know, she whispered, “this feels wonderful, not even speaking to each other, but just holding each other’s hands while we’re on this plane.” “It’s almost like we need to be holding hands...” “What, like we’re aliens, sucking on each other’s life blood?” Carter started laughing under his breath. “Yeah, well, I was just thinking it was nice to sit here, feeling your hand, like it makes everything better.” She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder in response. Though the presses aren’t usually open on a Sunday, they did open long enough to check cover colors while Sloane was there. “All of the pages are set up like your books usually run,” one of the tech reps said to Carter, “so it should be no problem at all to have it run.” Carter figured they could get sample pages of the entire book printed while Sloane was there for her to look over. He knew they wouldn’t be able to trim or bind any samples on the first day, but she would be able to see all of the forms and how they fit together, including her final essay on keeping your rights when you as a patient fight for your health. Sunday night she had to ask, “I know that the book is about to print, but do you think, if there are notes pages at the end of every chapter, that we could scribble in a page at the end of the ’meditation, yoga and Asian cultures’ chapter that mentions anything about what we’ve learned this weekend?” “You’re trying to kill me on this one, aren’t you?” Carter asked. “If it’s not possible, fine, I was just curious.” “The thing of it is that I know it’s a good idea. Let me see how many pages are at the end of that chapter tomorrow and we’ll see if we can add an addendum page to it, about bone and marrow washing. I mean, you could possibly use any of the notes from the sheets Nuanchan gave us to help you come up with the page for it.” They agreed that if there was more than one page at the end of that chapter for notes, they could pull one of those notes pages to use it for practices such as the general practice of qigong or chi kong, potential healing practices such as bone and marrow washing, or using relaxation as a form of meditation to be able to remove stress from your life. Monday and Tuesday were both spent at the press for both of them, and Sloane would leave Tuesday night to return to Seattle. She was able to send a fax to Kyle from the press during that time, telling him that there was no urgent need for him to have been there, but that they were also going to try to add a page by removing one of the notes pages after the chapter on meditation/yoga/Asian Cultures on new information that may be helpful to the reader. All of the pages and the general look of the book were approved, and her looking over work was seamless and simple. It got to the point where they had to count their days together. Saturday, then Sunday. Monday would be the last night. And though she slept on the couch when she was at Carter’s, they made a point to sleep in their separate hotel rooms in Ohio the first night. They didn’t know who they were kidding by the last night, and they stayed in bed together. Even though they were fully clothed, they made spoons out of their bodies and held each other half the night together as they slept. The one thing Carter dreaded, though, was saying good-bye to Sloane again. “This isn’t fair,” he said to her as he dropped her off at the airport. “You shouldn’t show up so many times making me say good-bye to you so often.” “You shouldn’t live so far away, young man...” “I need to keep the job right now, so don’t ask me--” “I wouldn’t. They actually cried when they held each other, saying good-bye, as she had to get to the airport to leave him again. The plane ride wasn’t so bad, airlines were having a hard time getting people to fly as often as they did before the 2001 terrorist airplane crashes, and Sloane had a row with one lady, and they talked about anything from Pearl Harbor to hair styles to playing card games. It was a good way to distract her from leaving Carter, even though she felt she had gone though a transformation after being about to get The Battle from the Inside to press, and was strong enough again to be able to battle her work stagnation, or the government intervention, which seemed to subside since the representatives from the U.S. Scientific Research Advancement Department snooped around their offices. The 6:15 p.m. EST flight from Ohio left late and arrived in Seattle at almost 8:00 Pacific Time. Having to take a taxi in from the airport to her apartment, it was approaching 9:30 when she got home. Opting to not bother going to work with her computer notes that evening, she unpacked and slept before heading into work again. A fresh start was a good idea. Arriving at work early to log in her computer notes and forward messages to Kyle and the rest of the staff on the book progress, she saw a few papers on the floor in the hallway before she turned the corner to her lab. Seeing that it was right around 7:00 in the morning, she knew she was probably the first person arriving in her lab that morning, so she didn’t know why there were papers on the ground when a cleaning staff would have removed the loose pages. Turning a corner to see her lab door she saw the window at the front door cracked open, with a hole large enough to unlock the door. Running to the entranceway and being careful to not slip on glass, she did her best to look through the destroyed window, which only showed a black void. Knowing this had to have occurred late last night, she turned around and ran to the next available workstation where she could call the emergency access number for Madison’s security department. Knowing she couldn’t go into the lab until security investigated the scene, she paced the hallway around the corner from the lab and waited eight minutes until security guards showed up. Sloane immediately started yelling at the representatives, though no one could give her a single answer. “How did this happen? Why didn’t anyone notice this was going on? ... Did you check for fingerprints? ... I know there are a lot of lab technicians that work here, but you can test us against existing ones ... What do you mean too many prints on the scene? ... You people have video cameras around here, right? Then can’t you check for any activity last night so we can see who did this?” All she could do was yell and get no answers as lab technicians started filtering in during the next hour and a half. Seeing that trying to get answers from the security guards was doing no good, Sloane decided to run to Colin’s office herself to at least tell him or his receptionist in person that their lab had been destroyed, by someone, she doesn’t know who, she doesn’t know how, but it was trashed. And also that the staff would do everything in their power to find out not only if any data was missing, but also how long it would take to clean up and how much it would cost to replace any of the destroyed equipment. Right now she couldn’t implicate anyone and she had no proof that there was any wrongdoing by the government, even though she had a sinking feeling that this was the next step the government would take to stop Madison from succeeding at their work. Knowing the transformation she had gone through, and knowing full well of what she could be capable of, she would fight to the death, to make sure that justice was somehow served. But she has no evidence. So ... what would she do?
Click here for Chapter 17 of The Key To Believing
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portions of this book are in the following books:
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