Supposed To Be 2005
started 11/24/98, converted to prose 09/27/05
You suggested to me that I should tell him how I feel. But Im afraid that I would tell him too much about me.
And youre not the first to tell me that. Okay, youre the second but now Im starting to think that on some levels this might be a good idea.
He called me when he got back into town last night he must have only been home for five minutes. And to me, its a good sign that he called. Hes either honest, or he misses me or something.
Or he thought of me. Or he was bored I dont know.
And whatever the reason is its a good thing that he called, and I mentioned getting a hotel room for after or night out, which is tomorrow.
You know, I said, getting a hotel would be good because then I wouldnt have to worry about getting home late.
At least thats what I told him. So I was pushing that line a little farther far enough to still be safe but far enough to still be a risk.
He said wed talk about it when he called me today
Well, he hasnt called me yet.
Who knows if well get a hotel room I dont know but the idea is there and well, thats something.
Maybe you were right in saying that I should take my time but Im an impatient girl and I want the answers yesterday. And maybe something will happen with me and him, and maybe it wont be on my terms... and maybe Ill have to get used to that.
Yes, I know he loves me and yes, I know he has thought about marrying me.
But there is no ring in my finger.
I know he has been confused, and I know I want to tell him not to be confused any more and I want to tell him that Im there for him and if he lets me I can be there for him in the future, too.
So thanks for supporting me through all of this, and thanks for suggesting this all to me, all without trying.
Well, so, thank you.
U.S. Government Copyright
Chicago Poet Janet Kuypers
on all art and all writings on this site completed
before 6/6/04. All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.
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