The Truth and Liars 2005

I have been told so few truths in my life, and as more time progresses I trust the average person less and less.
Forgive me, but some things just call for straight-out honesty. Seldom do I get the chance to voice my opinion, or speak out in opposition, or even have my own voice.
I’ve let myself out of one hospital, and I want to get out of a second one, by liars and people who try to deceive for a living. Believe me, I’ve seen it so many times, that sometimes it just gets more simple to tell apart the liars from the people who tell truths.
The truth-tellers are very, very difficult to find in this day and age. When you give a little power to a liar you’ll be faced with a lifetime of fighting and failures against the people who oppose you (which, trust me, there are many). Well, when you’re a person faced with liars, well, let’s just say that the battle to win is almost impossible.
For a good part of my life I’ve dealt with liars. Or should I say, I think that all of my life, because as long as I can remember, I’ve been aware of what people are capable of.
No one seems to know how to earn someone’s trust. It’s a difficult job to do with me. People often fail, if they ever tried.
I suppose that an average person who tried to earn my trust would probably not succeed at it. Coming from someone who knows the truth, someone who thinks, let me say it for myself.
I’ve lived through good news and bad news. I’ve been through young people’s deaths, old people’s deaths. I’ve seen people in constant pain. I’ve seen no real attempts done by anyone to help me in my life — ever. I have see and lived through both happiness and sadness. I have succeeded at the things I have tried. I have won when I have had to. I’m a ruthless winner. That comes with what I know.
I have cried for so many people that I can’t even tell you. I wonder if that many tears have been shed over me.
I wonder if anyone, anywhere, has felt anything about me.
This year I was hit by a few cars. I was driving my car. My car is now useless, after the accident. I was in a coma, unconscious for 1 to 2 weeks.
Right now I hear the chatter of 2 waitresses at the front of this office. I still have to hear them. I know the world deserves more than mindless chatter. Someone on this planet has to deserve it. I have to deserve it. I’ve already taught myself how to stop arguing, how to stop being unpleasant, how to stop making waves. If you can fit in with those simple rules, if you want, you can be forgotten as soon as you’re dead.
Sometimes it’s not easy to just give people what they want. Usually you have to sell yourself and your beliefs short. Get ready for it. It will happen in time. Brace yourself.

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Chicago Poet Janet Kuypers
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