Well, What About Me 2005

How can I say goodbye to you when you don’t even know I was looking for you? When you weren’t even listening? Have I been letting myself down all this time? Have I been hoping for something that wasn’t there? I’ve just wanted to be alive, and I don’t know if that means anything to you.
People tell me they care, and you know, if I died they’d cry for a few days and then they would get used to the fact that I was gone.
Yes, I’ve thought of that person that thinks too much who is a perfectionist and a bitch she has thought all of that too...
I know you want to make everything better for everyone. I know you want everyone to be hapy. I know you want to try to do everything so that everyone is appeased. But what about me? I’ve wanted those things and that doesn’t mean I get them. I don’t know what to do anymore for your problems and I don’t know that if I had planned on spending the rest of my life with you if you would change.
I can’t be your beacon anymore. I need a beacon for me, you know. and it’s not going to be just anyone because I want too much.
But I’m trying to learn that that beacon isn’t going to be you anymore, either.
I know what you have to do to make your life better, but I can’t tell you that because I have to draw the time somewhere, because I’m tired of giving all the time and getting nothing in return.

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Chicago Poet Janet Kuypers
on all art and all writings on this site completed
before 6/6/04. All rights reserved. No material
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