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Down in the Dirt v063

Workout With Run After

Kevin Cole

    Josh Price pulled up his arms and screamed. Sweat was in his eyes, dripping into his mouth, soaking his clothing. His body was in spasm, like muscle fear.
    He jumped from the exercise machine, grabbed a towel. What a workout this had been. He wiped his face, immediately picked up his cellphone. No messages, disappointing. Well, it was Sunday, lazy Sunday.
    On the near wall was a full length mirror. In it, he saw the Josh he wanted to see, forty, fit, formidable. There were a few grey stubble flecks in his buzzcut hair, but there wasn’t a trace of softness. All was capable hardness.
    He grabbed an energy drink from his office size refrigerator and gulped it down. After that it was a quick strip and shower, then a twist into his running suit and speed sneakers. It was time for his Sunday sprint, and he sprinted from his condo.
    Josh lived in a residential Queens neighborhood that was currently in a surge of housing change. He lived there to be in the front lines of development, the foundation trenches of new profit. A local real estate group had recently met with strange and disastrous results, but this meant nothing to Josh. His real estate business, “Cashland Properties”, was in a spiralling boom.
    He jogged up a side street, then right on a main avenue of stores. Here, neighborhood change was in full display.
    He ran past a fast food outlet, formerly the home of burgers and fried chicken. Now, a large sign in the window proclaimed: “NEW ALL VEGAN MENU!! GET LOTS OF GREEN!!”
    Another sign invited everyone to Tuesday family night when the kids could meet “The Big Stalker”, a cuddly celery character.
    Josh ran on, increasing speed. At the next corner, he tripped, forced his way to balance, kept going. This sidewalk had serious repair issues. This was the sight of a former tavern, a place of smoking drinkers. Now, thanks to the state law barring bars, it was a medical center. A sign in the window reminded passersby that April was National Colon Exam Month and that all men over thirty were required to undergo a complete rectal check with result forms mailed to the appropriate agency. A smiling cartoon duck held a scope that looked like a fishing rod and reminded everyone: “A LITTLE HURT FOR HEALTH!!!”
    This was a smooth run, body and mind in rhythm. Josh was in focus, thinking of upcoming deals to close. Suddenly, he passed the local cemetery gates, ornate, discolored, forbidding iron. To his disgust, he had a superstitious chill, and a surge of memory.
    There had been a funeral, an uncle’s gravesite service. He had wandered off, five year’s old and curious about the headstones. It was a rainy day, and his mind conjured up a shadowy skeleton figure with taloned hands, a filthy smell, a withered face. He had cried and run. His father found him and slapped him for this embarrassing actout.
    Josh ran by the cemetery wall with satisfaction. A new law was finally going to pass. This city cemetery and all city cemeteries were going to be subject to eminent domain. Hundreds of square miles of wasted land would now be open to development. Families with cemetery plots would have the option of having the graves emptied or letting them remain as a foundation part of a new city.
    Josh pushed it, moved into a power sprint. He was motoring! Suddenly, he was impossibly passed by another runner. It was a woman in tank top and shorts who winked at him going by. It was Jody Payne, another real estator. Since when could she run like this? Quickly she put distance between them and Josh got a trailing look at the back of her shorts and her bobbing ponytail. He tried to step it up, but even full throttle, he was losing ground to her. Jody looked back at him, laughed, and disappeared into a driveway between houses. As soon as he could get there, Josh followed her in.
    The driveway was narrow and shadowed, walled on two sides by private homes. Josh ran through this tunnel towards the garage area at the rear. Something about Jody bothered him. Why was she running at all, and running back here? He was startled and stopped running.
    At the end of the driveway was another building. This was a neighborhood anomaly, usually a residential dwelling behind a business. In front of this one stood a small mild looking man in a gold sweatsuit. He was talking to Jody. “Customary good work, Jody,” he said. “Bringing in a new client. Of course, it’s 5% for you.”
    Jody disappeared into the building.”I’m Harry Harder,” the little man said. He advanced on Josh, hand outstretched for a business shake. His grip was precise, neutral.”Josh Price, Cashland Properties,” Josh responded. “I’m online where you’d expect.”” You’re a fellow real estate carnivore,” Harry said. “Tell me about it.”
    Josh gladly gave him just enough information. This Harder guy might be an unwanted competitor in a seriously overentered market, or he might be a hot new contact. It was time to find out which.
    Harry motioned Josh toward the building.”We’ve got a unique and challenging situation here,” he said. “A very select few of us have founded a local business and exercise enterprise with mouth watering early results.”
    He guided Josh into the building with a gold sleeved arm.
    “Do you work out?” Harry asked
    “Are you kiddin’?” Josh was incredulous.
    “You look a little soft.” Harry frowned. “We can help you with that.”
    The gold sleeved arm of Harry led Josh into a dark hall. Josh noted the welcome throb of exercise machines. There was the varied chorus of active cellphone rings. This always sounded like Business Christmas music to Josh.
    There was also an intermittent unbusinesslike smell and a mental antivirus alert about Jody.”Before we go any further, Harry,” he said, “I need a lot more information here. I’m interested, but you’ve got to keep me interested.”
    Harry smiled. He gestured ahead with the golden sleeve.”Let’s go ahead to our conference room. Our staff is having a power meal, and we can demonstrate what we’re about,” he said.
    Josh walked ahead like an aggressive self-starter. He opened the door indicated by Harry. Inside, four people were around a functional conference table. At one end, Bill Plumber sat punching information into a laptop with one hand while twirling a dull grey chart baton with the other. In the middle of the table, Max Lander peered through thick glasses, worked at a text message with a strange looking stylus. At the far end, Jody Payne leered at him. She had applied magazine red lipstick.
    The fourth member of the conference wasn’t present at the table. He lay sectioned, seasoned and medium rare on an adjacent gas grill. There was the smell of underrot. Dirty plates were stacked in a utility sink with a light coating of flies.
    “The flies are a concern,” Harry said.
    Josh realized what the concern was with Jody. She had been missing for two years. He remembered missing person posters taped to streetlamps.
    Bill Plumber hadn’t been seen in at least six months. Hadn’t he retired?
    Max had tripped out and been confined to a mental hospital. Hadn’t he?
    Josh turned on Harry.”This isn’t business!” he screamed.
    Harry gripped Josh’s arms, immobilized him.”This IS business,” he said calmly. “It’s time you met our personal trainer. He’ll get you in shape.”
    The conference door opened and a shadowy skeleton figure entered. It had taloned hands, a filthy smell, a withered face.”This is your personal trainer,” Harry said.
    The trainer grabbed Josh, tucked him like a struggling pet under one arm.”You got away from me when you were a kid,” it said. “You’re old and fat, now.”
    The trainer carried Josh into the corridor and across the hall to another room. The others followed. The door opened into a small cubicle that contained a workout machine. On it was a skeleton in torn workout clothes.
    Harry entered, mouth downturned in disgust. “He just couldn’t multitask,” he said. You’ll do better, Josh.”
    He kicked the skelton off the machine. It clattered to the floor in a disarray of hollow bones.
    The trainer lowered Josh onto the machine, strapped him in. It began to move. Josh was forced to walk and lift a left handed weight at the same time. A laptop zoned in on his right side. A programmed shock got Josh to turn it on and begin looking at noted property listings.
    Josh cursed, struggled. Additional shocks encouraged him to return to work.
    “Very good,” Harry smiled. “There’s just one more thing, Jody’s commission.”
    Jody stepped forward. Josh could see that her red lipstick was a totally organic dried blood.”Pick your five percent,” Harry said.
    Jody looked Josh over carefully. Picking five percent was a no brainer.



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