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Harrigan, That’s Me

Ronald Brunsky

    Harrigan’s Diner, according to the great grandfather of the present owner, was named after the famous slugger following his memorable visit, in the early 1920’s. His barnstorming tour, on their way to Louisville, made an unannounced stop at the little town of Baxter.
     Ohio Legend has it that the big fellow downed a half-dozen hot dogs, four coca colas, and a generous slab of rhubarb pie in one sitting. He then posed for pictures, signed autographs, gave every kid a baseball and left the waitress a twenty dollar tip — more than a week’s wages at the time.
    The restaurant has since become a shrine to the former slugger. Pictures and newspaper clippings covered every wall, documenting the twenty-two year career of the hall of famer. A large amount of memorabilia, from Harrigan’s gloves, and bats to his old uniforms and first major league contract, somehow escaped Cooperstown and reside at the diner.
    ######
    Robert and William Bailey have been coming here since they were toddlers. Now well in their sixties, they can always be found at Carol’s table every Wednesday morning.
     Their discussions run the gamut from politics to religion especially religion, but they always find the time to argue about the exploits of Harrigan.
    “He did too,” said Robert. “There’s a picture of it right over there,” pointing over William’s shoulder, “couldn’t be any clearer.”
    “Hey lame brain, Harrigan is just pointing at the pitcher, not the center field bleachers.”
    “Is too.”
    “Not.”
    “Ok then, where did he hit the very next pitch?”
    “In the center field bleachers, but that’s not where he was pointing.”
    “Are you two going to have breakfast, or do you want me to bring out the gloves?” said Carol.
    “I’ll have the special with wheat toast,” said Robert. “Say Bill, why don’t we let Carol have the deciding vote on this.”
    “Oh no, I’m not taking sides just orders. What’ll it be Billy?”
    “I’m in the mood for something sweet,” said William, as he winked at Carol.
    “As long as it’s on the menu.”
    “Ok, I’ll settle for a waffle and sausage links, then.”
    “Be right up, boys.”
    Carol put the order in, and walked over to another customer. He wasn’t one of the regulars. Wearing a three piece suit and well groomed, she assumed he was probably one of the many salesmen that came through Baxter.
    “Coffee?” Carol asked.
    “Yes, with a little cream. Say maam, do those two always carry on like that?”
    “No, only when there together,” said Carol. “Seriously, they love each other dearly. But they have different opinions on almost everything. They’re brothers believe it or not, and both widowers. Bob, facing you, is a retired minister and Bill is an atheist. Go figure.”
    “Here’s one for you,” said William. “If there is a God, then why did he make spiders?”
    “Spiders kill a lot of other worse insects — they serve a purpose,” said Robert.
    “I’d rather have the other insects. And, if that’s your logic, then why didn’t he just eliminate insects altogether?”
    “I can’t give you all the answers. You’ve got to have faith that he did everything for a purpose.”
    “I knew you’d come back with your pat answer.”
    “Am I ever going to get you to see the light?”
    “Maybe, if you could show me a little proof. Another thing, how come in biblical times, God would talk to people? Now, if someone says that they have talked to God, they’ll put them in the loony bin. Has God stopped talking or are people afraid to come forward with the news?”
    “That’s a good question and observation. I wouldn’t have expected that from you,” said Robert.
    The salesman came walking over. “Do you mind if I join in on your conversation? I couldn’t help but listen in. I’d like to throw in my two cents.”
    “Sure sit down, ah ...” said William.
    “The name is Frank — Frank Browles. I sell cattle grain, and I’m on my way to Columbus. Nice to meet both of you; I hear your brothers.”
    Carol brought their orders, as the talk continued.
    “That last question you asked ... is it Bill,” said Frank. Bill nodded. “I’d like to hear the answer too.” I consider myself somewhere in between you two, as far as religious beliefs go. You know, it’s very refreshing to hear someone question religion — most people are afraid they might get struck down.”
    Robert took a sip of coffee and cleared his throat. “The reason I believe God doesn’t talk to people anymore, hmm ... how shall I put this. Well, first of all, the way I feel is definitely not shared by my church.
     I think God has changed through time. Like us he has made some mistakes, but unlike us he has learned from these mistakes.
    The God of the New Testament was different from the God of the Old Testament. Why, then wouldn’t it be logical to assume he has continued to change. I don’t mean the rules for salvation have altered, but I do believe God has stopped micro-managing and has given us total free will to please or displease him.”
    “I can see why the church wouldn’t be too crazy about that explanation, but I like it,” said Frank.
    “And why were on the subject of God,” said William. “Why does he possess the very quality he condemns in us?”
    “And what would that be?” said Robert.
    “To demand that everyone worship him.”
    “That’s a good point,” said Frank, “I never thought of it that way.”
    “It’s your Christian responsibility to worship the one true deity,” said Robert. “He expects our unconditional love and respect. William, you can’t compare man with God.”
    “Ok, ok enough with the sermon,” said William, turning his attention to Frank, “sometimes he gets carried away. So Frank, what do you think of our little restaurant?”
    “I love it. I’ll have to make it a regular stop on my Columbus run. I’m a big fan of Harrigan, and if you want to know what I think about that picture? I’ll tell you. No offense, Bill, but I think he was pointing to the center field bleachers.
    “He’s right.” The answer came from across the room — his deep husky voice matched his physical appearance. He was at least six foot two and maybe two hundred and twenty pounds.
    He took off his newsboy hat and white trench coat, and came over to the brothers’ table.
    “Can I join the group?”
    Everyone at the table was in shock, as was Carol and everyone else in the diner. It was unmistakable. The big, round, jovial face could belong to nobody else.
    Finally, Robert said, “Sure sit down. Oh, Carol, we got another party here.”
    Carol came running over to take the stranger’s order. She couldn’t help but stand there staring.
    “Four eggs over easy, a stack of pancakes, bacon and coffee,” said the big man. “That should hold me for a while.”
    “Are you who we think you are?” said William.
    “You can’t be ... “ said Robert.
    “Yes I can — Harrigan, that’s me.”
    “But, aren’t you — you know ... “ said Frank.
    “Dead? Right again. Sixty years last week.”
    “Why did you come here?” asked Robert.
    “Well, I have a lot of fond memories from my first visit, and I just had to see the Harrigan museum in person.
    Of course there was another reason,” as he pointed at the Bailey brothers. “Listening in on your conversations about me and religion over the years — well, I thought you deserved to be privy to a little top secret information.”
    “So, you actually were pointing to the bleachers in that World Series game?” asked William.
    Harrigan nodded.
    “That’s not what he meant,” said Robert. “He’s got much more serious matters to discuss — am I right?”
    “That you are.”
    “Before we get into the heavy stuff, I’ve got to know something,” said Frank. “Do you play ball up there, or where ever?”
    “Sure do, almost every day. Nicest ball parks you ever saw.”
    “Are all the hall-of-famers there?” asked William.
    “Pretty much, except for Cobb and few other S.O.B.s, but most of the players are the guys who never made it. It is sort of a fantasy league — I guess that’s what you would call it. There’s no money at stake; everyone plays for the fun of it.”
     Harrigan’s food arrived, and he dug right in. “Boy, this is just as good as the chow upstairs.”
    “I’ll tell the cook,“ said Carol, not really believing this was happening.
    “So big guy let us hear some of this top secret information you promised us,” said Robert.
    As a matter of fact, Robert, it was the big guy who arranged this visit. It seems what you said earlier is very close to the truth. God has let humanity pretty much run itself, and frankly, they’re making a mess of things. So, he’s having some folks like me, I guess you would call us celebrities from the past, come down and set the issue straight on the hereafter.”
     “And what would that be, exactly?” asked Robert.
    “Basically, to get people to understand that the road to salvation isn’t as complicated as all the religions want them to believe.”
    “You know, I’ve never been comfortable with the Christian rules of salvation,” said Carol, who was making her coffee refills.
    “The rules to salvation are simple,” said Robert. “Accept Christ as your savior. That’s it.”
    “That always bothered me,” said Frank. “How does anyone really know if they are sincere? How do they know if it took? I mean, I accepted Christ once, and I felt no sudden rush of warmth — no bells and whistles, nothing.”
    “And what about the people — the really evil people who on their death-bed accept Christ, do they go to heaven?”
    “If it is really that simple,” said William. “Then why does Christianity have so many different religions within it?”
    “That’s where it does get complicated,” said Robert. “The different religions stress more importance on certain bible passages. So even if you have acquired salvation by accepting Christ you may improve your heavenly state by meeting additional requirements. You see ...”
    “Robert, I’m afraid I must interrupt you,” said Harrigan. You may be saying what you think is correct — what you’ve been told over and over, but what I’m going to say is correct.
     Sixty years ago, my opinion of the afterlife or what is required to attain a membership, would have been just that — an opinion, like any other mortal.” Grabbing Robert and William’s forearms in unison with his powerful hands, Harrigan continued. “What I tell you now is not coming from an apparition, this body is as real as yours, but unlike yours it will remain healthy and young for eternity.
    I know from experience, not speculation, what the great beyond is like, and the price of admission.
    Robert, this may shake your religious foundations a bit. You see, all God ever wanted from humanity was for them to get along and love each other. Just follow the Golden Rule. It’s been around for four thousand years, endorsed by everyone from Confucius to Jesus to Gandhi; it is as simple as that. No baptismal, no holy water, no confessional, no prayer rituals, and most of all no religions, all that is necessary is for everyone to treat others as they would want to be treated.
    Everyone thinks that their religion or belief is right and everyone else is wrong. God loves all people — Christians, Hindus, Jews, Muslims, even atheists.
    Do you believe, with his infinite abilities and unlimited love, he would send someone to hell for choosing the wrong religion? That would be tantamount to a cruel game of “Let’s Make A Deal”: What’s behind door number three, Robert?
    Don’t look for salvation in a book written by man. Look within yourself — are you pleased with what you see? Have your personal interactions been unselfish and respectful? Just remember to live one day at a time, doing the best you can. What more can anyone ask of you? Salvation isn’t decided by a rule or a set of instructions. It is a just a natural event that follows a very normal life.
    Robert looked at Harrigan, and reflected for a few moments, before speaking. “What you have said makes everything seem so simple — so logical — even more important, so fair, but it’s a little hard to swallow, after all these years.”
    Harrigan leaned over and hugged Robert. “God never meant the afterlife to be shrouded in such mystery.”
    It certainly makes good sense to me, being rewarded for your actions instead of your words,” said Frank.
     “And now I know why it was so hard to stay awake,” said William, looking at Robert, “when I did attend some of your sermons.”
    “And why was that?” asked Robert.
    “Because, God was trying to tell me it was a lot of hooey.”
    “You could have phrased it a little better,” said Robert, but I guess I can see your point. It’s just that the church’s teachings always seemed like the best option.
    “So, you’re telling us to make good choices, and respect the rights of others,” said William.
    “That’s it in a nutshell,” said Harrigan. “People should trust that little mechanism in the pit of their stomach — call it conscience, soul, whatever, that tells them if they’re doing the right thing.”
    “Does hell really exist,” asked Robert.
    “Not in the way its been portrayed,” said Harrigan. “The early church leaders used it very effectively to keep their membership intact — when you think about it, without the threat of going to hell, what would keep people coming to church?
    Hell is what too many unfortunate people experience every day right here on earth. In the afterlife, the unworthy are put to good use doing community service. Before they are entitled to the privileges, they have to work off their sins against humanity — some for a short period and others for a very long time. You’ll see a lot of defense attorneys, politicians, and superstars digging ditches and working in the fields when you get there.”
    “Boy, I can’t wait,” said William.
    “So, how can we make a difference?” asked Robert.
    “You boys have already made a difference. You may be on opposite ends of the religious spectrum, but you have both followed the Golden Rule all your lives. In leading by example, you have unknowingly put many on the right path.
    If only the politicians could figure out that a philosophy of: do as I do, works so much better than do as I say.”
    Finishing up the last of his pancakes, and taking one last swallow of coffee, Harrigan pulled out a notebook and made several check marks. “I’ve got a lot more stops to make — a few like here to congratulate, but most to give out some hard advice.”
     “No one is going to believe we had a visit from you,” said Frank.
    “The only thing you will retain from this experience will be the truth about salvation. Your knowledge of me, I’m afraid, will return to only what history has recorded.
    I thoroughly enjoyed my stay. Until we meet again, God bless you all.”
    With that said, Harrigan got up, and seemingly unnoticed, put on his hat and coat and left.
    “What were we talking about?” said William. “Oh yeah, I remember. Frank, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong too. Harrigan wasn’t pointing at the bleachers.”
     “Give up already, you’ll never settle this,” said Carol, unless Harrigan, himself, shows up.
    Everyone, “Ha, ha,ha ......”

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