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Broads and Bullets

T.G. Schoenberg

    Stepping outside, Todd noticed that the rain had finally stopped. Everything was glossy now, from the grass and the tree leaves to the puddles in the street that mirrored the street lights looming above them. The theater was not a far walk from Mary’s apartment, so the two of them did not leave until fifteen minutes before the show. When they reached the sidewalk, Todd took hold of Mary’s hand. Her perfect mouth curled into a small smile.
     “So... when do you think we’ll get married?”
    “What?”
    “Oh come on!” She gave him an exasperated look. “We’ve been dating for two and a half years, our families get along great, and with my brains and your good looks our kids would be exceptional!” Todd’s raised his eyebrows slowly. “How about the fact that we love each other, that might be a reason don’t you think?”
    “Well of course, that too, but-”
    “-And besides, if anything, I have the brains and the looks.”
    She opened her mouth, feigning shock, and slugged him on the arm.
    “So what does that leave me then?”
    “Well...” he said looking her over, “you’re nice, I guess.”
    Mary reared back for another swing but Todd caught her hand laughing and pulled her in for a hug.
    “I’ll tell you what, I have one year left at Princeton, right? What if we tie the knot in the summer, after graduation?”
    Her face lit up.
    “We can use my father’s lake house and have the ceremony right on the lake!”
    “Given this some thought, have you? Wait, which lake house?”
    “The one in Vermont.”
    “Okay, I like that one better, it’s a deal.”
    The rest of the way the two were lost in their own thoughts about the future, until they reached the ticket booth at the nickelodeon. Tonight they were seeing The Jazz Singer.

***


    The next day Todd went over to his best friend’s house. Saturdays with Pete were always the same: a few rounds of golf at his father’s country club, then dinner with Pete’s family at their house, followed by a night out on the town. On this particular Saturday, Pete’s parents were on vacation in Europe, so Todd and Pete had the entire estate to themselves.
    They were sitting outside on the deck when their dinners were brought in by the help. Their trays had barely touched the table before Pete and Todd began to stab at their food hungrily. “So Mary was talking about marriage last night”, Todd began.
    “What?” Pete looked up, cheeks filled like two balloons, with juice from his steak running slowly down his chin like a red waterfall.
    “Marriage,” Todd repeated, “Mary wanted to know when I was going to marry her.” Pete snorted.
    “Ha, Mary... marry. Get it?”
    “I’m trying to have a conversation here.”
    “Alright I’m sorry. Look, it’s summer, alright? No one should have to be thinking about stuff like this. Let’s just get it off of your mind. I’ll tell you what, let’s call Frankie and Jimmy and go downtown tonight.”
    “I don’t know...”
    “My treat?”
    “Done.”
    They smiled and clinked their glasses before finishing them off.

***


    The taxi let them out at The Elephant. Walking in together, they pushed through the front door to find a dimly lit, but very inviting main room, filled with beautiful women, powerful men, and a live band. Walking up to the bar Todd slapped the counter with his palm. “Four whiskeys.”
    “Twenty dollars”, the bartender said, producing four glasses from under the bar.
    Todd slid a twenty across the counter coolly. “Twenty bucks?! Fuck Prohibition man!” Frankie shouted. “What do you care?” Pete asked, “It’s not your money.” “Excuse me, trust fund baby.” “Fuck you man.” The four circled up, raised their glasses, and downed them in a single swallow.

***


    Stumbling out the door, Todd, Frankie, Jimmy, and Pete were laughing uncontrollably. All four of them had just been kicked out for starting a fight, despite the fact that none of them even threw a punch. Jimmy had been flirting with a blonde twenty-something who ended up being a Red Sox outfielder’s girlfriend. Words were exchanged and eventually her boyfriend threw a bottle at Jimmy, who promptly ducked out of the way. The bottle smashed into the back of the person’s head behind Jimmy, effectively splitting open his head and knocking him to the floor. “Apparently,” Jimmy slurred, “somebody’s in the wrong line of work!” A brawl ensued, but the four of them managed to leave The Elephant unscathed.
    Being from a different town, Frankie and Jimmy said goodnight and parted ways in search of a ride home. Once they had left, Todd waved down a cab and helped Pete inside. Neither of them was even close to sober, but at least Todd still had his wits about him. Pete was in his usual form that night, struggling to keep his eyes open and stumbling everywhere. Once inside the cab, Todd gave the driver his address and they sped off into the night.
    No more than a mile away, Pete, who was previously leaning against the window, sat up and tapped Todd on the shoulder. Mumbling incoherently, he slumped down in his seat some more. Todd shook him awake to try and get him to speak clearly. “What’d you say Pete?” Pete opened his mouth, but his body decided that showing Todd what he saying would be more effective. He leaned over and became a human fire hose, spewing bile all over the back of the taxi’s driver and passenger seats.
    The cab came to a screeching halt. “GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY CAB!!” Laughing, Todd helped Pete out of the car. They were less than a mile from the bar, and they had a long walk home ahead of them. “Come on”, Todd said, holding Pete up as they walked, “I know a shortcut home.”
    After a couple of blocks, however, they were lost. They walked past an alley and Todd thought he saw a street that he recognized at the other end of it. “Come on Pete,” he said, changing their course again. Pete could now stand on his own at least.
    The alley was dark, and about a hundred yards long. Kicking through garbage as he walked, Todd noticed a pair of dumpsters that lined either side of the alley about halfway down. He turned to look at Pete, who had tripped, to make sure he was okay. Facing forward again, he stopped immediately.
    Five feet in front of them was a homeless man, about forty, with shoulder length mangy hair, a five o’clock shadow, and a grey duster thrown over a skinny frame. He had no shoes and holes in his pants. He also had a gun. He was up to their shoulders, but he seemed much taller with the black revolver extended towards them. “Gimme your money!!” he yelled, “NOW!!”
    Pete reached into his pocket and slowly walked towards the man. “Oookay now, just take it easy.” “Pete,” Todd warned, “come on man, don’t.” Before he could finish, Pete was wrestling for the gun, writhing back and forth with the bum until they both fell to the ground.
    Todd stood there, frozen, as the gun’s blast echoed in his ears. The shock was short lived, however, and before he knew it he was on top of the bum, thrashing wildly and throwing his fists as hard as he could. Blinded by rage, he hit the man square in the face- again, and again, and again. He was beginning to tire, when he spotted the gun.
    He rolled off the bum and snatched the revolver. “GET UP!!” His voice boomed. “GET THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!” The bum slowly got to his knees and sat up. His face looked like someone had thrown a bucket of ketchup on it. Blood seeped out of deep cuts under his eyes, on his lips, and out of his nose, which was clearly broken. “YOU WANNA LIVE??” The bum nodded whimpering. “WHAT’S THAT??” “Y-yes”, he stammered. “Well too bad.” The trigger gave way to Todd’s finger and the homeless man on his knees became the lifeless man on his back.
    Todd ran over to Pete, whose eyes were closed. The rest of his face was gone. Todd could barely catch his breath and he began to cry as got to his feet. Hearing a rustle behind him, he saw a couple who had stopped and was peering into the alley. The looks on their faces told Todd that they knew what had just happened. He left Pete and sprinted out of the alley.

***


    By the time he reached Mary’s door, Todd’s legs and lungs were completely numb. He knocked urgently on the door for three minutes, each knock sending sharp waves of pain through his bloody knuckles and down his arm. Finally, he saw through the window that Mary was coming down. She turned the knob and opened the door to her boyfriend drunk, bleeding, and crying. “Wha-“
    “Pete’s dead.”
    Mary nearly fainted right there. “What? What do you mean?”
    “We were walking home and a bum came out, Pete wrestled with him, and the fucking low life shot him!”
    “Where is Pete? You left him there?”
    “Well yeah, I had to get out of there.”
    Scared, Mary asked a question she hoped she wouldn’t get an answer to: “Why?”
    “’Cause that piece of shit killed Pete... So I killed him.”
    Reeling, Mary ran to the couch to sit down. Now she could barely breathe. “Somebody saw me Mary, somebody saw me do it.” She stared off at the floor in shock. “Are you hearing me? We have to get out of here, we have to go!”
    “Go? Go where? What do you mean?”
    “What do I mean?! I mean we gotta run for it, or my ass is going to jail!”
    “W-Well where are we gonna go?”
    “Mexico.”
    “Mexico??”
    “Yeah, I got it all figured out, we’ll take a train down to the border, where I can empty my trust fund, then we’ll take the money, cross the border, get married and live on the beach.”
    “But... what about our friends, our family, Princeton?”
    “Look Mary when life hands you lemons-“
    “When life hands you lemons?? Are you fucking kidding me?? You were the one who went and killed a guy, and then-“
    “Alright! Alright, I know, I fucked up, but look, we gotta go. Now.”
    Mary looked worried. After a minute in silence, she looked up at Todd. “Okay.”

***


    It was 6:30, Mary was ten minutes late. The plan was to get to the station at 6:20 and be on the way to Laredo by 6:45. Todd checked his watch again, and saw as a cab pulled up to the station. Relieved, he ran over to greet her. “There you are, I was getting worried. Are you okay?” Mary looked down. “Just feeling a little ill, that’s all.” Todd shrugged it off, paid the driver, and grabbed her bags.
    Together, they walked to the ticket window. “Hang on,” Mary said, “I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” “Alright, but make it quick.” She nodded and made her way over to the women’s restroom, which stood about thirty yards from the window. Looking around, Todd scanned a nearly empty train station. A mother was waiting with her son, who was fast asleep in her lap. Her trunk rested under her chair. To his right, Todd saw a man in a suit reading the paper. At least it looked like he was reading the paper. To Todd, it seemed more like he was looking over the top of the paper, straight at him. He looked away and craned his neck out towards the tracks to see if the train was ready to take off. Looking back, he saw that the man was folding up his paper, looking directly at him. It was about this time that Todd realized that Mary had been gone a little long.
    He turned his gaze to the bathroom and took one step towards it. In an instant, the man threw the paper down and rose to his feet. Todd whirled around. Fifteen police officers now had him surrounded, guns drawn. One of them yelled to get down and put his hands in the air. Todd thought about running. He thought about busting through the circle of badges and heading for freedom on foot. He knew they would gun him down in a second. Looking past the officer who had yelled, Todd saw Mary poke out of the bathroom, her cheeks wet and sticky with tears.
    Waves of realization washed over Todd like lava and he fell to his knees involuntarily. She had turned him in. His best friend was dead, and now the woman he loved was turning him in for murder. Todd put his hands behind his head. The cold steel of the handcuffs cut deep into his wrists, but he didn’t feel a thing- he was completely numb.
    As the officers led him to the car, Todd looked over his shoulder at Mary. She was being consoled by one of the officers. Todd ducked as the policeman helped him into the backseat of the car. He didn’t even struggle. Nothing mattered anymore. Even his father couldn’t bail him out of this one, Todd was going away for a long time. He leaned his head on the window as the car drove away, bawling his eyes out.



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