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So White plus Seven

Joseph E. Fleckenstein

    Over the past years we noticed kids were losing their interest in our circus. They had their TVs, iPads, computer games. Then it happened. The big boss called the seven of us in. Somil White, the girl who rode the elephant, was there too.
    “I’m sorry everyone,” the man said. “The Schultz Circus declared bankruptcy this morning. The equipment was bought by a Chinese firm. There’s no money to pay you. You can exit through the main door. You know, where we normally sold admission tickets. Security will show you the way.”
    Bang! Just like that we were on the street with no money and no place to go. Outside the main door, Grumpy picked up a rock and threw it at the big sign with the words “Schultz Circus – Freaks and Wild Animals.” When the rock hit, he let out a loud, “You mother fuckers.” The rock fell on a garbage can lid, making the sound of cymbals clanging. Much as the final note of a Beethoven symphony. Nobody was paying attention.
    Sleepy said he knew of a city park that was two blocks away.
     “Why don’t we go there and talk.” Somil, who we call “So” for short, said she would like to come along if we all didn’t mind. She added, “After all, eight heads are better than one even if some of them are pretty small.”
    Dopey looked at Sneezy.
    “Who does the smartass pussy think she is?”
    Sneezy spoke to no one in particular.
    “Word has it she is the illegitimate daughter of an Indian maharani.”
    It was true, So came from India. She said her family knew elephants. That’s how she got the job. But we all thought the maharani was made up bull, as in upmanship. She said her family name, “White,” came from some Englishman who had been fooling around with her grandmother. That was believable.
    We started walking toward the park. Half way there, Sleepy pinched So’s behind. He had to jump up to do it since So is tall with long legs and her ass is up high. She swung at him but he juked.
    At the park bench, Bashful was the first to speak.
    “Hey guys, look at it on the bright side. We are now eligible for unemployment, public housing and food stamps. You know, no more being the freaks in side shows to make people laugh. Just lounging around, watching TV, and fishing by the river.”
    Everyone had to agree. Bashful might be on to something. That night we slept in the park. The next morning we combed So’s hair and tried our best to make her look pretty. When we were about finished I stood back and had a look.
    “So, these are desperate times. You need to unbutton the top six buttons and get rid of that bra. Let them flop around.”
    So frowned, pouted and, in a huff, turned to go to the washroom at McDonald’s. When she returned we were ready for the Bureau of Public Housing.
    So turned on the charm. She told the guy she had “seven little ones” and that she needed a place to stay. Their fathers were not around. Fortunately our whiskers hadn’t grown much in one day. But some government types are not all that “alert.” He figured small people equals children. Besides, he was not looking in our direction. He gave So a key to an apartment on the spot.
    After we had an apartment at the Project we applied for unemployment. Having an address, we could tell them where to send the checks. We also got a pile of food stamps. Because we are tiny people, except for So, we don’t eat all that much. With the food stamps we could easily feed So plus 55 dwarves.
    All went fairly well the first few weeks at the Project. The apartment had two big beds. So slept in one and everyone else in the other. Sleepy, we learned, was a snorer. Dwarves have small mouths so they don’t sound like a big person when they snore. Sleepy sounded more like a pig in heat. Little squeals came one after the other. Whee...whee...whee. When he started that noise, Bashful and Grumpy would drag him to the bathroom and push a couch up against the door. In the morning, they would let him out. If anyone had to pee during the night they had to go out the front door and wet the marigolds.
    The second week, Happy made some local contacts and found a supplier. He kept swiping our food stamps and trading them for whatever he could obtain. In a way everyone was glad he was mostly stoned and out of the way. Otherwise he was grouchy and a genuine pain.
    The TV got to be a problem. There were eight of us and only one TV. Bashful and Sneezy wanted to watch mysteries. Dopey, Grumpy and Sleepy sitcoms. So, Happy and I the news and the history channel. It was a never-ending contest. One night Bashful wanted to watch Batman. Grumpy said, “no way, Batman’s a creep.” They went outside. Grumpy came back with a shiner. We all watched Batman.
    Bashful resumed his cross-dressing. He had gone to Target where he bought a few girl’s dresses, a wig, and lipstick. In the afternoons, he would wander the sidewalks of the Project. One day, after having walked for an hour, he returned and was watching Sesame Street. A beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. A gentle knock was heard on the front door. I went over and opened the door. Two little girls with dolls in their hands stood there.
    “Can the little girl come out to play?”
    “Little girl?”
    “We live in Building C and we saw her come to this apartment.”
    “Oh, yes. Well, she is having her nap right now. Besides, I don’t think you want to play with Bashy. She tends to bite people. Leaves ugly marks.”
    The girls looked at one another and ran away, screaming.
    One night, Sleepy looked at So as she and the others sat watching TV. So was in her PJ’s.
    “So, we’ve been here a month now, and we haven’t seen you with a boyfriend. You need to get a life.”
    “Who would want to go around with a chick that has a houseful of midgets? I’ve been looking for a job, but there is little demand for elephant riders. I’d like to get out of here.”
    Grumpy took exception to So’s comments.
    “Well, So, if you don’t like living with midgets there is nobody keeping you here. We can get along perfectly well without you. Riding around on your high elephant apparently gave you an attitude.”
    Because I was fond of So I told Grumpy, “Ah, shut up. We love So and she can stay as long as she likes.”
    She came over and, reaching down, mussed my hair.
    “Doc you’re the best.”
    If only, I thought, my arms were longer. I would have lifted So and threw her on that bed of hers. I would kiss her behind the ear, my hand would wander. So would breath in my ear. We would take our time.
    We lived the good life for a time but the unemployment was coming to an end. There were no job prospects in sight. We were all becoming concerned when a Chinese guy came knocking on the door. Very polite but difficult to understand. He said that his employer bought the Schultz Circus and all of the equipment is being shipped to China. He wanted to hire us. And, he said, for 25% above what we were paid by Schultz. He had a contract prepared for each of us. The following week we boarded an Air China 747 destined for Beijing.
    When the airplane had risen to 35,000 feet the captain announced that supper would be ready in two hours’ time. In the meantime, he said, fresh fruit and raw vegetables would be served. Something healthy, he added. In a few minutes a stewardess appeared. Strange looking, though. She had a big mole on her left cheek and a nose that was big for a Chinaman. For some reason she started at our row. I took a pear. So reached over and took the only red apple on the tray.

 

    This piece was published in Gravel Magazine, a publication of the University of Arkansas, in February 2016.

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