All the hard work to make yourself feel like something.
The life you put on hold so you could go further.
Sacrificing health and happiness, you reached for a star
You felt you needed to be glad, to survive.
And suddenly the star implodes,
Never wanting, never needing, never feeling that you were worth waiting for.
Suddenly you’re not given half a chance,
And for what reason, what purpose, were you rejected?
Was the blood not enough, the scars, the tears, the black circles under your eyes?
The sleepless nights, the brain tired from trying and striving for the top.
So, suddenly, in an instant, you allowed yourself to dream.
You allowed yourself to think you were worth something in this life.
You allowed yourself to think that self-pride was tenable.
You allowed yourself to think you were wanted, that you had merit.
And just as suddenly you find that you are worthless, prideless, meritless, not wanted.
While you would have given anything, it was unwilling to give anything.
No chance, no hope, no trial run for you to prove yourself.
No dreams fulfilled, no efforts rewarded.
Just a sudden, instant collapse.
A sudden downfall never ending.
A sudden realization that you are the nothing you feared you were.
And as mind wrestles heart, you stare up from the bottom and wonderÉ
Will I ever get up again?
