The Things They Did To You
(5/8/18 edit)
Janet Kuypers
based on the poem The Things They Did To You written 10/13/98;,
edited 4/4/08, then 5/8/18 for a 6/11/18 show
When you hear that you were so close to death,
you don’t think about it, you feel fine, you
couldn’t have been that bad. But you were on a
respirator to breathe for you while the doctors
just hoped and waited for you to start breathing
again. And you couldn’t eat, you were unconscious
for eleven days, so they gave you food through
a tube that went straight to your stomach.
There is a piece of metal in your body that
the doctors put in there in case you had blood clots
that tried to move through your arteries to your heart
or lungs or brain. Granted, their being kind to place
that vena cava filter in your body now means
an MRI you might need in the future to help you
will only kill you with that vena cava metal filter
in your body vibrating and destroying your arteries,
but they say they were doing everything only
in your best interest. They surgically attached
an intracranial pressure monitor to your head
so they could measure if there was too
much pressure on your brain. Yeah, I suppose
it was fair to say that you almost died, but
you’re fine now. No one will tell you any of this,
but I’m sure you know all of that by now.
What does it feel like to be almost dead? If
you had to think about your own life, and what
it meant to you and to other generations, would
any of this surgery matter? Well, you wouldn’t
be dead, I guess. But what if you were no
longer here, on this planet, what if you were
not alive? Would anyone miss you? Would
anyone write poems about you, or cry for you?
Well, people might get used to the fact that you
were gone. Time heals all wounds, as they say.
You, if you were thinking about it after you were
gone, you’d still be angry, I’m sure. That
doesn’t go away. It never does. Get used to it.
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