Too Far (2020 edit)
Janet Kuypers
(1995 poem, updated 12/3/20 for 2020 book release)
When he met me
he told me
I looked like
Gwyneth Paltrow,
Cameron Diaz,
Kim Basinger —
long blonde locks
but as time
wore on I knew
I wasn’t her
and I could never
be her and I was
never good enough
thin enough
pretty enough
so I got a perm
straightened my
teeth
bought a wonder
bra but it wasn’t
doing the trick
I bought SlimFast
used the stair
stepper ate rice
cakes and wheat
germ but I wasn’t
thin enough I
only dropped
twenty pounds
so I went to the
spa got my skin
peeled soaked
myself in mud
wrapped myself
in cellophane
bought the amino
acid facial creams
but I knew they
didn’t really
work
so I went to
the doctor got my
nose slimmed
my tummy stapled
my thighs sucked
thought about
getting a rib or two
removed
you know
like Cher
but I figured
my ribs?
they’ve got to
be there for
something
and hey, that’s
just going
too far
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