Gods want their life
to end
Janet Kuypers
6/18/22
When you are in the presence of a god
You think you’ll learn all the answers
You think you’ll feel above and beyond
But I say no, it never works that way
Because when we see that Sun Ray
Where it’s all supposed to be different
You realize that the god is just a poet
Sharing their victory and their despair
We recite verses from memory and
Think this makes a difference, but we
Forget what lines we’re spouting, and
Forget the verses that truly matter
For before I made my first pilgrimage
I received letters from my poet god
As He poured out unto me His pains
Some gods want their life to end, too
He shared His anxiety of having to
Lead a normal life after witnessing the
Atrocities of His world that left Him in
Despair & shame & guilt & sorrow*
(& Don’t forget His hopelessness*)
In order to get an ounce of attention.
But I’ve learned the mind of a god
Is not unlike the mind of a poet, for
You know your soul still has more
Work to do. More to accomplish.
And isn’t that the pain of every god,
Every tormented poet. People think
You have all the answers. And you do—
Mostly. But the problem with the
Depression is overwhelming when
After all your work, they say in the end
Your only choice is to suffer.
But the poets, the gods, they’re
Supposed to be the ones with the power.
Where does that leave you, when you
Hold someone’s hand, say it will
Get better, and you don’t know
In the end if it ever will.
* C Ra McGuirt, quoted in the poem “;letter, 4/14/95 two”
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