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All About Ronny(ie)

Roy Haymond

    Live and let live, sure. Even all those years ago when we used different words to say what was what. I was in a live-and-let-live mode, thinking I was ever so broadminded. That was before I was faced with a real live test. And my reality streak showed itself.
    The worst thing about this particular night was what I was doing to Ruby. She’s really a good sort, one of the most solid, sincere people I know. Doesn’t look bad, either. In fact we had thought of maybe...well, not getting married, but moving in together. But it turned out that things were fantastic in bed, but not so good everywhere else.
    So I had tickets to a play I knew she wanted to see and I rooked her into this deal - which meant I was taking her along so I could hide behind her skirts! (And I had plans for getting her into a hot tub later.)
    I simply told her we had to stop on the way to meet an old friend for a minute or two, some kind of social obligation. This sounded harmless enough. And when I parked just down the block from the Jungle Bar, I breathed a sigh of relief - she obviously didn’t know about the place.
    But inside the Jungle Bar, so many poorly kept secrets quickly piled up.
    * The tall, pudgy waiter took our order for two beers. He wore earrings and his nails were painted pink.
    * Two young men who may have been ballet dancers or junior weight-lifters were sitting at the bar, lightly holding hands, each looking into the eyes of the other with a gaze that mixed lust and beatitude.
    * A large muscular woman in a security guard’s uniform was sitting ultra-close to a diminutive blond girl in a manner that could be called protective.
    *An individual was wearing a cocktail dress that didn’t match the moustache and cigar.
    *And on.

    “You said you were meeting an old friend here? You said his name was Ronny? What the hell is going on, Ken?”
    “I had hoped he’d be here waiting, and we could say hello, and be on our way...Well, let’s start with this...”
    I handed her a business card: Interiors by Ronnie.
    Her eyebrows lifted. “Then I gather we aren’t expecting a macho...What about this Ronnie?”
    “Knew him as a kid...knew his family...His sister called me and asked me to speak to him...I stopped by his store and he was out...got him on the phone and he said he’d meet me here...”
    “Knew him as a kid?”
    “In our neighborhood...he was, well, different...all kinds of dancing classes, raised flowers and did arrangements...even won prizes for his needlepoint.”
    “How well did you know him?”
    “Can’t say I knew him...the sister who called me is my age...Ronny was four or five years younger...I was never involved in anything, any kind of activity he was in. However, once I did stop some kids from beating up on him...I guess he was about ten and these guys were working him over pretty good...then through the years I’d see him around the neighborhood. He looked normal enough, small, but at least healthy looking...if you didn’t know about his hobbies, you wouldn’t have guessed...But I haven’t seen him in, Oh, I suppose it’s been at least ten years...I go back to visit my folks ever so often, but I never ran into Ronny, and I hadn’t thought of him till I got that call from his sister last week...”
    “Then you don’t know much about what he’s been up to since he was a kid?”
    “Very little. He went off to college...and there was some kind of trouble - you can guess what that might be...And what I heard was that he disowned his family and went to Europe. Apparently his sister learned he was here and begged me to get in touch with him...”
    “What are you going to say to him?”
    “Damned if I know! His sister wants him to get back on good terms with his family...”
    “What did you bring me along for? Protection?”
    “Well, I didn’t want to come here alone!”
    “When you get right down to it, Ken, you’re a son of a bitch...But I’ll have to admit...I’m curious about this Ronny...”
    We didn’t have to wait long. Two dressed in skirts wandered up to our table.
    The taller of the two was in a cocktail dress. She had chestnut hair in a short poodle-cut. At first glance she seemed to be about twenty-five, slender, and quite well formed.
    The shorter of the two had dark brown hair, also in a poodle-cut, and she was wearing a white pullover sweater over a navy blue skirt. She was thin, almost frail.
    “Ken?” the smaller one asked me.
    “Yes.”
    “I’m Ronnie...”
    “Oh? I didn’t recognize you...”
    “How could you? You knew me before I was a girl...”
    Ruby flushed, then paled, then headed for the ladies room.
    Ronnie spoke to his/her companion, “Go see if she’s all right, Chris.”
    “Right,” said the chestnut-haired one, whether boy or girl.
    Ronnie took a seat and looked at me. “You haven’t changed much, Ken. What are you doing in Philadelphia?”
    “I’m an accountant with a brokerage firm.”
    “And Sis got in touch with you...told you to look me up? What did she want?”
    “Ah, I don’t know. Worried about her little brother, I guess. Wants you to be reunited with the family...”
    “Well, after a little bit of that famous Denmark surgery, I’m not really her little brother anymore! Imagine how this would go over around home! She’s really a good sort, but I don’t think she - or the whole scene at home - is ready for the likes of me...”
    “You mean...you’re a...I mean...”
    “Had the operation. My driver’s license lists me as female...”
    I felt myself getting weak.
    “Shocks you, doesn’t it? So, how would it go over if I were to go to a family reunion? No, I wouldn’t do that to them...nor would I do that to me...”
    Ruby returned, with Chris right behind her.
    Ronnie said, “If you’re going to get to the play on time, you’d better run along...Chris and I are staying a while...we’ll take care of your check...Thanks for coming, Ken...and nice to meet you Ruby....”
    We left and approached my car. I wasn’t sure we would even take in the play, and I surely wouldn’t have given odds on the hot tub.
    But Ruby had gained most of her composure.
    “Ken, that Ronnie is something from outer space...”
    “You mean because she had that operation?”
    “Well, that’s weird enough...but I had always assumed that a male would get such an operation because he wanted to be a she, because he wanted to go to bed with men. But there was Chris...Chris is a woman...and make no mistake about it...and she’s in love with Ronnie!”
    “You’re getting me mixed up...”
    “Well, I’m mixed up, too! But here’s the way I figure it: Ronnie was a boy...but he wanted to be a girl...so now he’s a girl...but he doesn’t like the idea of cuddling up to a boy...Ergo! He is now a she, and he doesn’t want a he, so he-now-a-she gets another she...Chris, that is...And they live happily ever as long as it lasts...”
    “That’s sick. But I guess you’re right...”
    “Yes, it’s sick...but live and let live...Do you really want to see the play?”
    “Well, no, not really. But I thought you did...”
    “I did, but now I’d rather have some more beer and a hot bath...”

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