---

 

This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue... Down in the Dirt magazine (v111) (the October 2012 Issue) You can also order this 5.5" x 8.5" issue as an ISSN# paperback book:

Order this writing in the book Falling (a Down in the Dirt collection book)		get the 230 page Sept. - Dec. 2012 Down in the Dirt magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

Order this writing in the book After the Apocalypse (prose edition) (the 2012 prose collection book)		get this poem collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

Ricky’s Sickness

Michael Cavazos

    Guadalupe hit the on switch, and a strong bopping beat roared from her speakers. The party was on. Everybody was having a good time. Fools played beer pong. Fellas took shots, getting some fire in their bellies. Females stared the others down, their eyes packed with bullets. Couples grinded on the living room floor assured that they were going to get lucky tonight.
    On a couch by the bathroom and through the haze and stench of marijuana smoke, Ricky sat with a simple boyish smile stapled to his lips. He was hanging out with people who might as well have been family and he was drunk enough to make new friends feel loose around him, especially this chick he just met, Lucy Vargas.
    “So what’s it like being the hottest girl here?” he asked.
    “You’re full of crap, boy”, was her response.
    He gave her a modest, “Thanks”.
    Lucy cocked her eyebrow. “Quit messin’ with me.”
    “C’mon, you know you like it”, replied Ricky. She did. He had just told her four lies in the past two minutes and almost all of them she believed. His lies made her laugh, and he felt smooth telling them. He could be smoother than cream at times. More so when he was drunk. This was going to be one of those times. “I joke with all the pretty chicks.” He shot her a fast wink.
    Lucy smiled heavily making her bronze cheeks bulge and her luscious lips widen. She looked into her Dr. Pepper and vodka as if it had all the answers in the world. She took out her mirror and fixed her hair. A ring of silver choked her finger. “Hey chick, do you got a boyfriend or something?”
    She looked back at Ricky with her dimples plastered on her cheeks. “No I don’t got a boyfriend or something.” She slipped her hand in her pocket. When she pulled out, the ring was gone. “Tell me Mr. R-R-R-Ricky”, she rolled her tongue, making Ricky blush. He loved it when the sexy Mexican chicks did that. “Are you always a flirt or is that just what whores do?”
    Ricky took a long sip of his Coke and Jack Daniels. When he spoke, he had an evil grin with a tipsy slur. “You tell me, Mizz La-la-la-Lucy.”
    She matched the length of his gulp and her eyes become feline and bloodthirsty. She looked at him up and down, with a crescent smile, “That’s just what whores do.” She winked at him, and then moved a little closer to him.
    Ricky’s mind bobbed and weaved with drunkenness. If he were sober he could never ask this. “So, you wanna go outside“, he stuck a thumb out at the door, “and make out, chick?”
    She stood up, grabbed his hand to lead him out the door, putting him on her lusty leash.
    They went over to the stair cases. They were smiling, but they both felt painfully awkward.
    Ricky’s judgment had been obliterated by his fourth drink. With no restraint holding him back, he kissed her on the cheek, actually missing her lips. She kissed him back, missing as well. Ricky made it on the second try, and they started the soft sparring match of young lips and hungry tongues. For the next fifteen minutes, the only sound in the sky was the sound of their kisses.
    They were both in a lusty mood especially Ricky, who hadn’t so much as grinded in a month.
    Lucy broke off to wipe some spit off her lips, still smiling in her feline way.
    Ricky could only stare; he was enchanted by her.
    “Guess we shouldn’t go back to the party”, she said.
    “Nah, guess not.” Ricky snaked his arm around her hips, “Lucy, chick, I really like you.”
    She looked at him blankly and started laughing. “You’re drunk you. You hardly even know me.”
    “I’m sober enough to know I’m in love with you. I wanna marry you and have kids with you. I wanna take care of you.” He started kissing her neck.
     She pulled away, “Dude, that’s just creepy.”
    Ricky gave her the eyes of a kicked puppy
    She laughed till her abs burned.” Let’s go, kid.”
    “Go where, sexy?” Ricky stared at her half awake. The alcohol made his legs feel heavy.
    “To our honey moon, punk!” She dragged him up, letting him rest his head on her exposed shoulder. She could feel the prickly stubble from his chin stab her soft skin. It felt good.
    Ricky blurted out, “Ok well...I wanna have sex right here and now!”
     “No, stupid”, she chuckled, “my apartment’s right up here.”
    “What?! Really?! That’s cool!”
    They walked up to room three fifteen. She unlocked her door and let him on her bed.
    Ricky was starting to genuinely like Lucy more and more, each time he ran his eyes over her physique. It was too luscious to be street-legal. She had perky breasts squeezed together in a brown V. Her waist was thin, her hips were wide. She was a hot-rod of a woman.
     He stared at her blankly from the bed, enjoying the view, and then he grabbed her arm and pulled her on top of him. Her weight was hot and crushing. He loved it. His body was hungry for her, it wanted to devour her and savor her flavor for as long it could.
    But, it was all wrong somehow. A cold ball of fear formed in his stomach. It wasn’t just the fact that premarital sex would grant him a coach pass to hell, it’s just that sex could mess things up-especially bad sex. He really liked this chick; he didn’t want to screw it up.
    He started to caress her back, soaking in her warmth through his fingertips. He took off her shirt, and felt for her bra strap. He tried to take it off, but it wouldn’t give.
    He gave up on the bra, and just stroked his right hand around the top of her breasts. He circled his left hand around her stomach. She moved her hand to meet his. She kissed him on the lips. Her breath tasted of candy. He was very tired. She inched her tongue in his mouth then pulled back. He closed his eyes, and very unintentionally passed into sub consciousness.
    Ricky dreamt of himself and his mother and father, but in this dream they were back to the family they had been before his dad split when he was two. He saw his family like he had seen them in his grandma’s old photo albums.
    His mother was beautiful, short and petite with very fair skin, with long lustrous black hair. His father was tall and dark with a chiseled face. His physique was burly. Ricky, as a two year old baby, had the look of his mother but with his father’s tan. The baby was the product of two disillusioned young lovers.
    In this dream he was a baby and when he was a baby, he would often walk around the house looking at his pudgy hands. He walked around his old house until he heard rocking and moaning movements from his parents’ bedroom.
    He opened the door just so he could see a slice of their room. He couldn’t believe what he’d seen. His father was on top of his mother. They were rocking back and forth making noises like a horny monkey. His tiny mind couldn’t comprehend that this was how he’d been created. They seemed to be in pain, but at the same time happy. Their auras blasted intense love.
    Then the dream faded away from his vision and he was eighteen once more. The room came back, burning bright with fire. His mother was on top this time, but not with his dad. He shut his eyes tight and he opened them for an instance. On top of the room, black clouds of smoke swayed about. His mother was losing her faithfulness, just like how she had done in real life. Ricky never knew who she had done it with, but this man literally had no face. She was rutting him like an animal. He couldn’t describe the kind of disgust he was feeling except, that it was paralyzing. Her face was branded with the insane feeling that being intoxicated brings, and her eyes were glazed with the insane pleasure that only sex can give
    Hanging from the front of the room, was his father, shedding tears of fire. The skin from his body floated to the floor as black ash. Only a sad skeleton remained of him.
    Ricky was still frozen from hearing his mom screech from the pain of penetration. He now felt shame. Despite all the catholic philosophy his mom had tried to put in him, he still managed to have premarital sex three times in the past eight months. He met those willing girls, just like how he met Lucy: drunk and smiling. He didn’t love any of them. He didn’t even like any of them. In the morning he would wake up next to them and run his eyes over their naked bodies, and feel nothing but hate. However, he kept doing it to get that rush of pure primal passion; it probably gave his mother the same feeling when she did it...
    He could not take it anymore; he rushed to his mom, begging her to stop.
    His mother just laughed still being jostled by the man.
    “Why, son? You’re just like me.” She grabbed his arm with a skeleton hand, which burned with lust. Her head burst into flame, revealing a red joyful skull. “You’re just like me”. Her skull morphed into each one of the girls he’d slept with. It finally ended with Lucy’s haughty face. Ricky gasped.
    “....Just like me...” When he looked at the man, he saw himself lying on the bed with a simple lopsided smile, staring right back.
    “I’ll stop! Mom. I promise! I’ll stop!” He woke up to the taste of salty tears. He felt for his naked body but couldn’t because an armor of clothes protected his nudeness.
    He looked to his left. There she was, shirtless and breasts covered. He cupped them in his hands, massaging them and basking in their softness. He kissed them and kissed her lips. All she did was twitch and snore. She was beautiful even with the crust in her eyes and with drool dripping out of her mouth. Her eyes fluttered open big and bright, like sunrise on a summer day
    She pulled her face in a soft grin. She reached for his hair to caress it. “You’re still here.”
    “Umm...yeah”, he did the same to her. Trying hard to match her stare “listen”, he noisily swallowed, “...I like you Lucy, and we don’t gotta do what we were trying to do last night for a good long while...I mean I like you.”
    She shrugged. “You feel asleep.” She let him go to reach the blanket. She covered them with it. She hugged him tight and whispered in his hear “I like you too, but I think you’re going to have to leave in an hour or so.” She kissed him on his cheekbone laid back down and pulled Ricky’s head down to her chest. She brought the cotton blanket over her neck, covering Ricky from the world.
    Ricky frowned. ”Why do I gotta leave?” He came up from the blanket. She threw up a crowned finger, “Because I’m married.”
    He waited for her face to crack into laughter. He needed her to be kidding. She was smiling, but he knew there was no joke behind it. Last night’s alcohol began to catch up to him; it made his stomach churn violently. He rushed to the bathroom to throw up three months of guilt and hypocrisy. The back of his throat burned with hopelessness... You’re just like me.

Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Problems with this page? Then deal with it...