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Casual Tuesday

Jo Thomoson

    I have a strong, passionate love for peanut M&M’s. They’re like little pieces of heaven in a plastic wrapping. It was a casual Tuesday night and I had decided to spend it at the movies with my beloved peanut M&M’s. My buns were sat comfortably on my seat. A man dressed in muted colors sat next to me. Everything about this man screamed ordinary, except for the extreme amount of uncomfortable vibes I was receiving from him. The lights began to dim and the movie was about to start. The man began to feel underneath the armrest of his seat. Anyone with common sense knows that underneath an armrest of a chair at the movies exists an underworld of boogers and chewed gum. I don’t know what this man was looking for, but he found something very realistic. He found a piece of chewed gum delicately coated in dried saliva. Once the piece of gum was upon this man’s hand he began to scream violently. He flailed his arms as if he was on a rollercoaster at a theme park. The gum eventually left his hand and fell in the most holy place possible. This man flung a wad of someone’s sugar-free dirty little secret directly into my bag of wonderful chocolate covered orbs.
    This man turned to me and with a slight snort and a little giggle, he said, “I’m sorry.”
    The nonchalant attitude of the man caused my innards to feel like they were on fire. A series of questions ran through my head. How should I respond? What is my comeback? Do I seek revenge on this individual? Or do I simply brush off this chip on my shoulder?
“No,” I whispered. I stood up and poured my foiled snack on this pathetic excuse for a human being, and with a large amount of sarcasm I said, “I’m sorry.”

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