[the Writing of Kuypers] [JanetKuypers.com] [Bio] [Poems] [Prose]
I keep getting this image in my head
and maybe she’s a smart girl
but these are my memories
maybe she never had one
My Dead Daughter
of a little girl, and she has long straight dark hair
and she is quiet and she comes to me and asks me questions
and I am working, but I turn around to answer her
and she sounds really intelligent
and I treat her that way and I answer her like an adult
and then I wonder if I’m not spending enough time with her
so while I’m answering I turn off my computer
and I turn around to her and I continue to look at her
I make a point to make eye contact when I communicate with her
and I get up so we can walk to the library
as I finish answering her question
and we get to the library and I ask her
is there is anything else she wants to know
because I want to be the one to tell her the truth
and she says no
she says she doesn’t need anything
and underlyingly she makes me feel as if she doesn’t need me
and I think,
I gave birth to that girl, she has to need something from me
and maybe she’s learned to do things on her own
maybe she does all the things I have had to do in my life
maybe she understands more than I ever did
these are the memories of something that has never happened
and will it ever?
maybe that’s the maternal side of me,
being a mom and knowing women
but I never knew who the father was
and I never got her name, whenever I would have these memories
Copyright Janet Kuypers.
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Order this iTunes track
from the poetry audio CD
“Oh.” audio CD
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the entire CD set from iTunes: 
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in different styles:
from the Chaotic Collection
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Listen (2:54) 
(mixed 04/23/08)
to this poetry, combined with music
from the HA!Man of South Africa
creating “from Chicago the South Africa”
Listen to the DMJ Art Connection,
off the CD the DMJ Art Connection Disc One
Watch this YouTube video
of this poem read live in Chicago 09/12/03 at the “the Cycle of Life” DvA art gallery show
Or watch the FULL video
from the Internet Archive of the whole live the Cycle of Life DvA art gallery 09/12/03 Chicago show
Listen to the live track (1:54, 09/12/03) or listen to the studio track (1:32, 10/25/06) from the DvA Art Gallery Chicago 09/12/03 performance The Cycle of Life.
Order this iTunes track:
from the poetry audio CDetc.
...Or order the entire CD set
from iTunes
CD:
Listen:
And order this iTunes track from the collection poetry music CD Fusion
Order this iTunes track from the collection poetry music CD
the Final ...Or order the entire CD from iTunes:
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem My Deal Daughter live 6/24/15 at the open mic the Café Gallery in Chicago (Canon Power Shot)
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem My Deal Daughter live 6/24/15 at the open mic the Café Gallery in Chicago (filmed with a Canon fs200)
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