[the Writing of Kuypers][JanetKuypers.com][Bio][Poems][Prose]


Manic Depressive or Something

while working,
one of my clients informed me
they have to take days
to move their ninety-one year old mother
(for the sixth time in ten years),
and he doesn’t know
is he has the strength to do this sort of thing

and I was about to write him back,
saying that I’m sure I’m younger than him
(because we only correspond by letter)
and my mother is seventy-five
and is dying
so

you don’t have it so bad
you mother’s still living
and

and that’s when I decided
not to write them back
I don’t like revealing
that much of my personal life, you know

isn’t that funny
I write, but I don’t want
to reveal that much of my personal life
I know I’m writing now
but I’m not writing to anyone
I’m just getting it out of my system

that happens to me now,
I’ll start to think about it
and it will bring me to tears
and than I’ll have to clean myself up
and I’ll have to readjust
to everyone else having a normal life

and I’ll go about my day
and anything can happen
that will remind me again
and I’ll fall apart
just a little more again
and I’ll clean myself up again
and

well, you get the idea

it’s like a cycle now
like I’m manic depressive or something
because when I forget about it
I can laugh and have a great time
and when I’m in those in-between stages
no one notices at the grocery store
that I’m losing my mother
I don’t let it on
I don’t act happy
I don’t act sad
I just live in that in-between time
until I remember again
and drop down again
and I’m depressive again
until the cycle lets me go back up


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the book The Beauty and the Destruction the CD Manic Depressive or Something

my hand to an anim of jkchair