[the Writing of Kuypers]    [JanetKuypers.com]    [Bio]    [Poems]    [Prose]


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See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers performing from memory her poem Keeping a Record of Going Too Far in her 4/5/14 Beast Women audition in Chicago’s the Den Theatre (C)
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See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers performing from memory most of her poem Keeping a Record of Going Too Far in her 4/5/14 Beast Women audition in Chicago’s the Den Theatre (iPhone)
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See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers performing from memory her poem Keeping a Record of Going Too Far in her 4/5/14 Beast Women audition in Chicago’s the Den Theatre (C, posterized)
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See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Keeping a Record of Going Too Far from memory live 4/23/14 at the open mic the Café Gallery in Chicago (C)
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See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Keeping a Record of Going Too Far from memory live 4/23/14 at the open mic the Café Gallery in Chicago (S)
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See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers performing Keeping a Record of Going Too Far, Made Any Difference (to John’s song), and How People Interpret My Words 1/31/16 at the Austin music open mic Kick Butt Poetry (Cps).
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See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers performing Keeping a Record of Going Too Far, Made Any Difference (to John’s song), and How People Interpret My Words 1/31/16 at the Austin music open mic Kick Butt Poetry (Nikon).
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See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Falling From the Sky” and “Keeping a Record of Going Too Far” from her bookRevealed”, plus her poem “Zenith of the Night Sky” @ Austin’s Recycled Reads 3/18/17 (filmed from a Canon Power Shot SX60 camera).
video videonot yet rated

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Falling From the Sky” and “Keeping a Record of Going Too Far” from her bookRevealed”, plus her poem “Zenith of the Night Sky” @ Austin’s Recycled Reads 3/18/17 (filmed from a Canon Power Shot SX700 camera).
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See YouTube video from 3/20/17 of Janet Kuypers reading her poem “Keeping a Record of Going Too Far” with a live jazz band for “Austin Rhythm Fire” at Southern Hospitality Catering & Dining (this video was filmed from a Canon Power Shot SX700 camera).
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See YouTube video on 3/20/17 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Keeping a Record of Going Too Far”, “Yearning to Break Free”, “Entering the Lake of Fire” and “Only an Observer” with live jazz music for “Austin Rhythm Fire” at Southern Hospitality Catering & Dining (this video was filmed with a Canon Power Shot SX700 camera).
video video
See YouTube video on 3/20/17 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Keeping a Record of Going Too Far”, “Yearning to Break Free”, “Entering the Lake of Fire” and “Only an Observer” with live jazz music for “Austin Rhythm Fire” at Southern Hospitality Catering & Dining (filmed from a Canon Power Shot SX700 camera, & given a Sepia Tone filter).
video not yet rated
See YouTube video on 3/20/17 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Keeping a Record of Going Too Far”, “Yearning to Break Free”, “Entering the Lake of Fire” and “Only an Observer” with live jazz music for “Austin Rhythm Fire” at Southern Hospitality Catering & Dining (this video was filmed with a Canon Power Shot SX60 camera).
video video
See YouTube video on 3/20/17 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Keeping a Record of Going Too Far”, “Yearning to Break Free”, “Entering the Lake of Fire” and “Only an Observer” with live jazz music for “Austin Rhythm Fire” at Southern Hospitality Catering & Dining (video filmed from a Canon Power Shot SX60, & given a Posterize filter).
video not yet rated
See YouTube video on 3/20/17 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Keeping a Record of Going Too Far”, “Yearning to Break Free”, “Entering the Lake of Fire” and “Only an Observer” with live jazz music for “Austin Rhythm Fire” at Southern Hospitality Catering & Dining (video filmed from a Canon Power Shot SX60, & given a Threshold filter).
../2017 Austin Rhythm Fire chapbook ../2017 Austin Rhythm Fire chapbook
View or download the free PDF chapbook
2017 Austin Rhythm Fire
with her poems “Keeping a Record of Going Too Far”, “Yearning to Break Free”, “Entering the Lake of Fire” and “Only an Observer” performed in her 3/20/17 show.

Keeping a Record
of Going Too Far

Janet Kuypers
audition performance
of “Too Far” and “Burn It In”
edited 3/25/14

When he met me
he told me
I looked like
Gwyneth Paltrow
         (long blonde locks)...

but as time wore on
I knew I wasn’t her
and I could never be her
and I was never
thin enough...
pretty enough...
good enough.

So I straightened my hair,
I straightened my teeth,
bought a wonder bra —
but it wasn’t
doing the trick.

So I bought slimfast,
used the stair stepper,
ate rice cakes
and wheat germ —
but I wasn’t
thin enough
         (I only dropped
         twenty pounds).

So I went to the spa:
I soaked myself in mud,
wrapped myself
in cellophane,
bought the amino
acid facial creams —
I even injected
botulism
into my face
every three months —

but I knew that all
didn’t really
work.

So I went to
the doctor.
I got my nose slimmed,
my tummy stapled,
my thighs sucked...

I thought about
getting a rib or two
removed —
         you know,
         like Cher —

but I figured...
My ribs? They’ve got to
be there for
something,
and hey,
that’s
just going
too far.

But wait... What am I even doing this for?
For men? For what, for men to like how I look?
Is this supposed to make me happy?
Why am I going too far
when many men out there
are rapists and oppressors?
I’m more than just a plaything,
this woman’s got a mind,
and I’ve spent too many years
shoving hand-written notes into my pockets,
slamming my hands, my fingers into a keyboard
because there were too many atrocities in the world,
too many injustices that I had witnessed,
too many people who had wronged me

and I had a lot of work to do.
There had to be a record of what you had done.
I have defiled many pages
in your honor, you who swung
your battle ax high
and thought us women would just stay quiet.
Yes, I have defiled many pages
and have you defiled many women?
You, the man who rapes my friends?
You, the man who rapes my sisters?
You, the man who rapes me?
Is this what makes you a strong man?

You want to know why I do the things I do?
I need to record these things.
When my friends went off to war
that is what kept me together.
When women were raped
and left for dead
these writings kept me together.
And when no one bothered to notice this,
or change this,
or care about this —
these writings kept me together.

I need to record these things
to remind myself
that there are things worth fighting for,
worth dying for...
I need to record these things
to remind myself
that I
am
alive.


Copyright © Janet Kuypers.

All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.


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