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video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers in her 11/4/17 show “Finding Where We’re From and the Future” @ “Expressions” in Austin, performing her poems “Barbie”, “Burn It In (reaching the end edit)”, “Earth was Alive and Dying”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)” (this video was filmed from a Lumix camera w/ HA!Man of South Africa music and her projected rotating art display; posted on Facebook Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoetryshow #janetkuypersinstagram
video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers in her 11/4/17 show “Finding Where We’re From and the Future” @ “Expressions” in Austin, performing her poems “Barbie”, “Burn It In (reaching the end edit)”, “Earth was Alive and Dying”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)” (this video was filmed from a Sony camera w/ HA!Man of South Africa music and her projected rotating art display; posted on Facebook Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoetryshow
View the 11/4/17 show poems in the free PDF file chapbook
Finding Where We’re From and the Future chapbook Finding Where We’re From and the Future chapbook Finding Where We’re From and the Future
containing the poems “Barbie”, “Burn It In (reaching the end edit)”, “Earth was Alive and Dying”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)”.
video videonot yet rated

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers saying her poems “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Your Imaginary Soul Weighs 21 Grams”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)” live 6/4/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (S. Galaxy S7).
video videonot yet rated

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers saying her poems “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Your Imaginary Soul Weighs 21 Grams”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)” live 6/4/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (S G S7; B&W).
video videonot yet rated

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers saying her poems “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Your Imaginary Soul Weighs 21 Grams”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)” live 6/4/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (S G S7; Edge D).
video videonot yet rated

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers saying her poems “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Your Imaginary Soul Weighs 21 Grams”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)” live 6/4/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (S G S7; Post.).
video videonot yet rated

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers saying her poems “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Your Imaginary Soul Weighs 21 Grams”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)” live 6/4/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (S G S7; S. T.).
video videonot yet rated

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers saying her poems “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Your Imaginary Soul Weighs 21 Grams”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)” live 6/4/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (S G S7; Thr.).
video See YouTube video live 9/26/18 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Ocean’s Call to Dive”, “Jumping, Flying”, “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Poem About This”, “For Far Too Many Years”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 cruelty to animals edition)”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 political edit)”, “Juxtaposition, or Irony?”, “Quieted Soul”, “The Page”, “Other Souls”, “yearning to break free”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)”, from her show “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” with chapbook “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” performed during the feature performance at In One Ear in Chicago (Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
video See YouTube video live 9/26/18 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Ocean’s Call to Dive”, “Jumping, Flying”, “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Poem About This”, “For Far Too Many Years”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 cruelty to animals edition)”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 political edit)”, “Juxtaposition, or Irony?”, “Quieted Soul”, “The Page”, “Other Souls”, “yearning to break free”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)”, from her show “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” with chapbook “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” performed during the feature performance at In One Ear in Chicago (Panasonic Lumix T56 camera; B&W).
video See YouTube video live 9/26/18 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Ocean’s Call to Dive”, “Jumping, Flying”, “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Poem About This”, “For Far Too Many Years”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 cruelty to animals edition)”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 political edit)”, “Juxtaposition, or Irony?”, “Quieted Soul”, “The Page”, “Other Souls”, “yearning to break free”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)”, from her show “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” with chapbook “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” performed during the feature performance at In One Ear in Chicago (Panasonic Lumix T56; Sepia Tone).
video See YouTube video live 9/26/18 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Ocean’s Call to Dive”, “Jumping, Flying”, “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Poem About This”, “For Far Too Many Years”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 cruelty to animals edition)”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 political edit)”, “Juxtaposition, or Irony?”, “Quieted Soul”, “The Page”, “Other Souls”, “yearning to break free”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)”, from her show “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” with chapbook “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” performed during the feature performance at In One Ear in Chicago (Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
video See YouTube video live 9/26/18 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Ocean’s Call to Dive”, “Jumping, Flying”, “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Poem About This”, “For Far Too Many Years”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 cruelty to animals edition)”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 political edit)”, “Juxtaposition, or Irony?”, “Quieted Soul”, “The Page”, “Other Souls”, “yearning to break free”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)”, from her show “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” with chapbook “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” performed during the feature performance at In One Ear in Chicago (Panasonic Lumix 2500; Threshold).
video See YouTube video live 9/26/18 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Ocean’s Call to Dive”, “Jumping, Flying”, “True Happiness in the New Millennium (2017 Dripping Springs edit)”, “Poem About This”, “For Far Too Many Years”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 cruelty to animals edition)”, “Everything was Alive and Dying (2016 political edit)”, “Juxtaposition, or Irony?”, “Quieted Soul”, “The Page”, “Other Souls”, “yearning to break free”, and “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)”, from her show “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” with chapbook “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” performed during the feature performance at In One Ear in Chicago (Panasonic Lumix 2500;n Edge Det.).
video See YouTube video of Janet KuypersMay 2019 Book Release Reading 5/1/19, where she read her “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” poems “Ocean’s Call to Dive”, “Jumping, Flying”, and “I’m Not Sick, But I’m Not Well (Future Imperfect edit)”, all read from the cc&d September-December 2018 issue and chapbook collection book “This is Where I Live”, during Community Poetry @ Half Price Books in Austin, TX (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoetry #janetkuypersbookreading
video See YouTube video of Janet KuypersMay 2019 Book Release Reading 5/1/19, where she read her “to the Bottom of the Earth and Back” poems “Ocean’s Call to Dive”, “Jumping, Flying”, and “I’m Not Sick, But I’m Not Well (Future Imperfect edit)”, all read from the cc&d September-December 2018 issue and chapbook collection book “This is Where I Live”, during Community Poetry @ Half Price Books in Austin, TX (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoetry #janetkuypersbookreading
video Enjoy this YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her v212 10/23 Down in the Dirt issue/book “The Beach at Night” poems “Killing the Survivor Bug” + image), “I’m not sick but I’m not well (Future Imperfect edit)” (+ show image 1, and show images 1, 2, & 3), and “Haiku (poet)” (+ 8/13/19 show images 1 & 2, + 8/15/19 show images 1 & 2, + poem image) during her “Poetic License 10/1/23 global open mic” she hosted through a Zoom meeting & a Facebook event page (Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera; on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). video Also enjoy this as a Facebook live video stream (from a Samsung S9 camera; on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypersbookreading #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoetry #janetkuyperspoeticlicense

I’m not sick but I’m not well
(Future Imperfect edit)

Janet Kuypers
written 7/2/98, edited 11/3/17 for 11/4/17 show

I’m not sick but I’m not well
and I’m sure there’s something I can do about this
I’ve popped the aspirin
            the tylenol
            the ibuprofen
            the codine
            the prozac
            the vicodin
            the oxycodone
these sleeping pills don’t knock me out anymore
and that thermometer is down my throat
and I’m gagging

I’m not sick but I’m not well
the doctors find nothing wrong with me
and believe me, they’ve taken the x-rays
they’ve striped me down
and made me wear one of those awful paper robes
they’ve put probes on my head to monitor my brain
they’ve strapped me down, injected my with drugs
‘til my veins in my arms were itching and screaming
it’s like they shoved demons under my skin
            I’ll rip that needle out of my arm
            I’ll jump off that gurnee
            i’ll try to break free
because they find what they’re looking for
but never find anything I’m looking for

I’m not sick but I’m not well
and I can’t help but think
that everything I’m doing to make things better
might only be making things worse
so I don’t want to listen to what
you have to say anymore
and I want this IV out of my arm
and I want this oxygen tube out from my nose
and I want to be free of your straight jacket —
and I want you to get that scalpel away from me
because I want everything I’ve got

I’m not sick but I’m not well
and they want me if they can keep me in line
            maybe give me anti-depression medication
            so they can deplete my soul altogehter
and they want to scan my brain, check my records
            so they can claim they need to “correct” me
and they want me if they can cut me open
            and take out my insides
            and suck out the fat
            and suck out the life
            and make me generic
            and make me dependent
            make me unreal
            make me not whole
and I’ve walked that line with all you doctors
and I want all my parts back
and I want to be healthy

no, I’m not sick and maybe I’m not well
but you’re only making me worse
I don’t have the answers but neither do you
so instead of tearing me apart
            and dissecting me
            and studying the bones
let me just stay together for a while
until I figure it all out


Copyright © Janet Kuypers.

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