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Chapter 38 (v1)
This volume is available in two forms,
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Download this writing in the free chapbook the 2010 Lake County Poetry Bomb the 4/18/10 chapbook of poetry Janet Kuypers read in public

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This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue of cc&d (v224) (the September 2011 Issue, You can also order this 5.5" x 8.5" issue as an ISSN# paperback book:						This is also in this 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback “Autumn Again” Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book:

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enjoy this writing from Janet Kuypers in the cc&d free 2014 PDF file chapbook: Attacking with Poetry of poetry selected for reading at Lincoln Square, from the 4/27/14 live outdoor reading for the 2014 Poetry Bomb (plus 2 bonus vegetarian poems intended for reading the day before at the Vegan Bake Sale)

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enjoy this writing from Janet Kuypers by clicking the title or the cover from the cc&d free 2018 PDF file chapbook: “Life and Death and Everything Between” a chapbook of poetry written by Janet Kuypers over many years, read live in Chicago 9/25/18 in her feature at The Gallery Cabaret.

This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN#/ISBN# issue/book “Equal” cc&d, v289 (the March/April 2019 issue) Order this as a 6"x9" paperback book:

This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Why Peace Will Forever Elude Us” Down in the Dirt, v167 (the November/December 2019 Issue) Order the paperback book:

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being god

I’m tired of dying for your sins
over and over again and why is it that
I am the one that’s doing the dying
when you are the one that’s doing the sinning
I don’t think you’re learning your lesson

I’m tired of taking this knife to my hands
over and over again giving myself the stigmata
the blood gets all over my clothes
and I can never get the stains out
and for what, for you to see how I suffer

I’m tired of being humble when I’m
supposed to be the one with the power
over and over again I become your servant
and never are you bowing to me
I don’t even get a thank you

I’m tired of preaching to the converted
when the converted aren’t even really listening
they’re snoring in the back rows while I
deliver my sermon and there’s not even air
conditioning in here and I’m sweating

I’m tired of coming to you and healing the sick
taking away the problems, over and over again
giving you something to look forward to
and all I have is an eternity of waiting for
someone to take my place and tend to my wounds

I’m tired of giving the earth up to you
watching the devil’s work be done, and you know,
he’s just sitting down there looking at me
and laughing, over and over again because it’s
so easy for him when he doesn’t have to work

I’m tired of being your salvation
over and over again you turn to me
and I have no one to turn to but myself
it’s a bitch, you know, being your own god
since no one can save me from me

I’m tired of being your teacher, handing you
what you need on a silver platter and waiting
for that damn collection plate and someone
is always stealing out of it from the back row
I know who you are, you who leave me nothing

I’m tired of wearing this crown of thorns
over and over again the needles prick my skin
and even gods bleed, at least this one does
and when I ask you to wipe the blood
out of my eyes, well, I can’t see you anywhere

I’m tired of being something for everybody
when everyone is nothing for me
maybe the devil has the right idea, you know
maybe I’ll sit back and wait for you miss me
as you wonder who’s your messiah now

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