That was the Time
cc&d magazine
the 2019 reprint of v184 (May 2008)
plus bonus 2008 supplements
Internet ISSN 1555-1555, print ISSN 1068-5154
|
Table of Contents
|
|
|
AUTHOR
|
|
TITLE |
|
|
|
editorial
|
|
(the boss lady’s editorial)
|
|
|
|
Janet Kuypers
|
|
FOX Wants to Legally Lie
It Look Like We’re Hurting You, But We’re Only Trying To Help You |
|
|
|
Paul Baker
|
|
Caruntitled 3 photography |
|
|
|
Awake magazine
|
|
More Harm than Good? |
|
|
|
Rose E. Grier
|
|
Sacrifice to the Gods art |
|
|
|
poetry
|
|
(the passionate stuff)
|
|
|
|
Julia O’Donovan
|
|
That Was The Time |
|
|
|
Holly Cross
|
|
Teenage Girl |
|
|
|
Shannon Krol
|
|
The Pick Up Line |
|
|
|
Kenneth DiMaggio
|
|
City |
|
|
|
David J. Thompson
|
|
In The Breakfast Room At The Holiday Inn Express |
|
|
|
John Yotko
|
|
Shanghai, China photography |
|
|
|
David Lawrence
|
|
Picklish |
|
|
|
Michael Lee Johnson
|
|
Hanging Together in Minnesota |
|
|
|
Ken Fisher
|
|
Among The Debris |
|
|
|
Joe Frey
|
|
We Infest Earth |
|
|
|
Tanya Rucosky Noakes
|
|
Shallow Water |
|
|
|
Adam Joseph Ortiz
|
|
somewhere along the line |
|
|
|
Michaela Sefler
|
|
Aftiel |
|
|
|
Joseph D. Reich
|
|
The Strange Effects Of Weather |
|
|
|
news
|
|
(news you can use
|
|
|
|
[ed]
|
|
Global Warming and Conservation Stats |
|
|
|
prose
|
|
(the meat & potatoes stuff)
|
|
|
|
Pat Dixon
|
|
Bafflement |
|
|
|
G.A. Scheinoha
|
|
Slush Pile |
|
|
|
Cheryl Townsend
|
|
What Do You See art |
|
|
|
Jim Meirose
|
|
Mason’s Two Dollar Bill |
|
|
|
Aaron Wilder
|
|
One Small Choice art |
|
|
|
Supplement #1
|
|
the Poetry Wheel (2/26/08)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Amber Beads
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem “Volumes in Flames while the Soul Flourishes” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, my poem “Amber Beads” from the Scars Publications 2019 reprint of the cc&d magazine v184 May 2008 issue-book “That was the Time”, and her poem “Such a Surreal, Ephemeral Feel” from her poetry book “(pheromones) haiku, Instagram, Twitter, and poetry” during the 9/15/19 at “Spoken and Heard” open mic in Austin (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 video camera, and this video was also posted on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem “Volumes in Flames while the Soul Flourishes” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, my poem “Amber Beads” from the Scars Publications 2019 reprint of the cc&d magazine v184 May 2008 issue-book “That was the Time”, and her poem “Such a Surreal, Ephemeral Feel” from her poetry book “(pheromones) haiku, Instagram, Twitter, and poetry” during the 9/15/19 at “Spoken and Heard” open mic in Austin (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 video camera, and this video was also posted on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr).
|
Thom Woodruff, thanks for taking photos of Janet Kuypers while she read her poem “Amber Beads” from the Scars Publications 2019 reprint of the cc&d magazine v184 May 2008 issue-book “That was the Time” at Georgetown’s “Poetry Aloud” open mic 9/14/19 - cc&d magazine has always welcomed contributor of older issues to request reprinting for purchase, and it is fun to be able to share poetry from 2019 reprinted books (that also include bonus releases from that same period).
|
Driving By His House
Andrew Hettinger
See YouTube video live 10/19/19 at Austin’s “Open Mic Showcase”, where Janet Kuypers read poems from a variety of books in multiple rounds to the live audience at the bookstore. In round 1, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “On This Day” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Eight to Sixteen” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her Periodic Table poem “Einsteinium” from The Cafe Gallery poetry book “the Chosen Few”. In round 2, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Empty Chocolate Counter” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Lord have Mercy” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Andrew Hettinger” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, In round 3, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vatican Turned into a Whorehouse” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Star Trek, Star Wars, and Storm Troopers” from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Chess Game Again” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, then her bonus poem “Every Day is Sweetest Day”, written that morning, on Sweetest Day, 10/19/19. In round 4, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vanquished by the Sleeping Giant” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Young Dreams from a Potential Legend” (for her “Bases Loaded” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “All These Reminders” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 5, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Uphill Battles lead to Changing It Up” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Violent Affair” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “She Told Me Her Dreams (one)” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 6, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Knowing Panic Becomes a Picnic” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poems “People’s Rights Misunderstood”, and “New Vacuum Cleaner” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 1996 v79 book “Poetry and Prose” (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera); on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr.
|
See YouTube video live 10/19/19 at Austin’s “Open Mic Showcase”, where Janet Kuypers read poems from a variety of books in multiple rounds to the live audience at the bookstore. In round 1, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “On This Day” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Eight to Sixteen” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her Periodic Table poem “Einsteinium” from The Cafe Gallery poetry book “the Chosen Few”. In round 2, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Empty Chocolate Counter” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Lord have Mercy” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Andrew Hettinger” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, In round 3, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vatican Turned into a Whorehouse” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Star Trek, Star Wars, and Storm Troopers” from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Chess Game Again” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, then her bonus poem “Every Day is Sweetest Day”, written that morning, on Sweetest Day, 10/19/19. In round 4, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vanquished by the Sleeping Giant” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Young Dreams from a Potential Legend” (for her “Bases Loaded” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “All These Reminders” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 5, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Uphill Battles lead to Changing It Up” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Violent Affair” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “She Told Me Her Dreams (one)” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 6, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Knowing Panic Becomes a Picnic” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poems “People’s Rights Misunderstood”, and “New Vacuum Cleaner” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 1996 v79 book “Poetry and Prose” (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera); on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr.
|
Death
Anything for the Liquor Fix
Chess Game Again
See YouTube video live 10/19/19 at Austin’s “Open Mic Showcase”, where Janet Kuypers read poems from a variety of books in multiple rounds to the live audience at the bookstore. In round 1, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “On This Day” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Eight to Sixteen” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her Periodic Table poem “Einsteinium” from The Cafe Gallery poetry book “the Chosen Few”. In round 2, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Empty Chocolate Counter” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Lord have Mercy” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Andrew Hettinger” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, In round 3, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vatican Turned into a Whorehouse” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Star Trek, Star Wars, and Storm Troopers” from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Chess Game Again” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, then her bonus poem “Every Day is Sweetest Day”, written that morning, on Sweetest Day, 10/19/19. In round 4, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vanquished by the Sleeping Giant” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Young Dreams from a Potential Legend” (for her “Bases Loaded” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “All These Reminders” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 5, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Uphill Battles lead to Changing It Up” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Violent Affair” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “She Told Me Her Dreams (one)” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 6, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Knowing Panic Becomes a Picnic” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poems “People’s Rights Misunderstood”, and “New Vacuum Cleaner” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 1996 v79 book “Poetry and Prose” (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera); on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr.
|
See YouTube video live 10/19/19 at Austin’s “Open Mic Showcase”, where Janet Kuypers read poems from a variety of books in multiple rounds to the live audience at the bookstore. In round 1, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “On This Day” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Eight to Sixteen” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her Periodic Table poem “Einsteinium” from The Cafe Gallery poetry book “the Chosen Few”. In round 2, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Empty Chocolate Counter” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Lord have Mercy” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Andrew Hettinger” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, In round 3, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vatican Turned into a Whorehouse” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Star Trek, Star Wars, and Storm Troopers” from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Chess Game Again” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, then her bonus poem “Every Day is Sweetest Day”, written that morning, on Sweetest Day, 10/19/19. In round 4, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vanquished by the Sleeping Giant” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Young Dreams from a Potential Legend” (for her “Bases Loaded” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “All These Reminders” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 5, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Uphill Battles lead to Changing It Up” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Violent Affair” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “She Told Me Her Dreams (one)” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 6, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Knowing Panic Becomes a Picnic” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poems “People’s Rights Misunderstood”, and “New Vacuum Cleaner” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 1996 v79 book “Poetry and Prose” (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera); on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr.
|
Children, Churches, and Daddies |
|
|
|
Supplement #2
|
|
Slinging the Word (3/18/08)
|
|
|
|
|
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poetry in multiple rounds during her hosting the “Poetic License” 11/3/19 open mic at Austin’s “Recycled Reads”. In round 1 she reads her poem “Keep Your Chin Up” that she wrote that day (11/3/19) because November 3rd is cliché day, as the opening to the open mic. In round 2 she reads her poem "Death" from the Poetry Wheel 6/26/08, then her poems “Gift of Motherhood One”, “Thank You, Women Who Work One”, “Coslow’s”, “Childhood Memories One”, “Christmas Eve”, and “There I Sit” from her “Slinging the Word” chapbook and Chicago WLUW Radio interview 3/18/08, and her poems “Alexi”, “a New Patient”, “Catching a Muscovy”, “Changing the Locks”, and “Childhood Memories Five” from her Poems on the Beach 7/13/08 Chicago Beach Poets feature and all read from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 3 she reads her poems “Climbing Trees”, “Conscious of It”, “False Suicide”, “Hiding Vices”, “Twin”, “Masquerade”, “Raking Leaves”, “They Called It Trust”, and “They Tried” from her Poems on the Beach 7/13/08 Chicago Beach Poets feature and all read from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera; and it was also posted on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poetry in multiple rounds during her hosting the “Poetic License” 11/3/19 open mic at Austin’s “Recycled Reads”. In round 1 she reads her poem “Keep Your Chin Up” that she wrote that day (11/3/19) because November 3rd is cliché day, as the opening to the open mic. In round 2 she reads her poem "Death" from the Poetry Wheel 6/26/08, then her poems “Gift of Motherhood One”, “Thank You, Women Who Work One”, “Coslow’s”, “Childhood Memories One”, “Christmas Eve”, and “There I Sit” from her “Slinging the Word” chapbook and Chicago WLUW Radio interview 3/18/08, and her poems “Alexi”, “a New Patient”, “Catching a Muscovy”, “Changing the Locks”, and “Childhood Memories Five” from her Poems on the Beach 7/13/08 Chicago Beach Poets feature and all read from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 3 she reads her poems “Climbing Trees”, “Conscious of It”, “False Suicide”, “Hiding Vices”, “Twin”, “Masquerade”, “Raking Leaves”, “They Called It Trust”, and “They Tried” from her Poems on the Beach 7/13/08 Chicago Beach Poets feature and all read from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera; and it was also posted on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr).
|
Gift of Motherhood 1
Thank You, Women Who Work I
Coslow’s
Chicago, West Side
All These Reminders
See YouTube video live 10/19/19 at Austin’s “Open Mic Showcase”, where Janet Kuypers read poems from a variety of books in multiple rounds to the live audience at the bookstore. In round 1, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “On This Day” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Eight to Sixteen” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her Periodic Table poem “Einsteinium” from The Cafe Gallery poetry book “the Chosen Few”. In round 2, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Empty Chocolate Counter” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Lord have Mercy” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Andrew Hettinger” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, In round 3, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vatican Turned into a Whorehouse” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Star Trek, Star Wars, and Storm Troopers” from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Chess Game Again” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, then her bonus poem “Every Day is Sweetest Day”, written that morning, on Sweetest Day, 10/19/19. In round 4, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vanquished by the Sleeping Giant” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Young Dreams from a Potential Legend” (for her “Bases Loaded” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “All These Reminders” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 5, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Uphill Battles lead to Changing It Up” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Violent Affair” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “She Told Me Her Dreams (one)” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 6, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Knowing Panic Becomes a Picnic” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poems “People’s Rights Misunderstood”, and “New Vacuum Cleaner” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 1996 v79 book “Poetry and Prose” (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera); on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr.
|
See YouTube video live 10/19/19 at Austin’s “Open Mic Showcase”, where Janet Kuypers read poems from a variety of books in multiple rounds to the live audience at the bookstore. In round 1, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “On This Day” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Eight to Sixteen” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her Periodic Table poem “Einsteinium” from The Cafe Gallery poetry book “the Chosen Few”. In round 2, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Empty Chocolate Counter” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Lord have Mercy” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Andrew Hettinger” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, In round 3, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vatican Turned into a Whorehouse” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Star Trek, Star Wars, and Storm Troopers” from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Chess Game Again” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, then her bonus poem “Every Day is Sweetest Day”, written that morning, on Sweetest Day, 10/19/19. In round 4, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vanquished by the Sleeping Giant” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Young Dreams from a Potential Legend” (for her “Bases Loaded” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “All These Reminders” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 5, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Uphill Battles lead to Changing It Up” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Violent Affair” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “She Told Me Her Dreams (one)” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 6, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Knowing Panic Becomes a Picnic” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poems “People’s Rights Misunderstood”, and “New Vacuum Cleaner” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 1996 v79 book “Poetry and Prose” (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera); on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr.
|
She Told Me Her Dreams I
See YouTube video live 10/19/19 at Austin’s “Open Mic Showcase”, where Janet Kuypers read poems from a variety of books in multiple rounds to the live audience at the bookstore. In round 1, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “On This Day” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Eight to Sixteen” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her Periodic Table poem “Einsteinium” from The Cafe Gallery poetry book “the Chosen Few”. In round 2, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Empty Chocolate Counter” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Lord have Mercy” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Andrew Hettinger” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, In round 3, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vatican Turned into a Whorehouse” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Star Trek, Star Wars, and Storm Troopers” from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Chess Game Again” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, then her bonus poem “Every Day is Sweetest Day”, written that morning, on Sweetest Day, 10/19/19. In round 4, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vanquished by the Sleeping Giant” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Young Dreams from a Potential Legend” (for her “Bases Loaded” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “All These Reminders” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 5, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Uphill Battles lead to Changing It Up” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Violent Affair” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “She Told Me Her Dreams (one)” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 6, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Knowing Panic Becomes a Picnic” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poems “People’s Rights Misunderstood”, and “New Vacuum Cleaner” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 1996 v79 book “Poetry and Prose” (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera); on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr.
|
See YouTube video live 10/19/19 at Austin’s “Open Mic Showcase”, where Janet Kuypers read poems from a variety of books in multiple rounds to the live audience at the bookstore. In round 1, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “On This Day” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Eight to Sixteen” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her Periodic Table poem “Einsteinium” from The Cafe Gallery poetry book “the Chosen Few”. In round 2, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Empty Chocolate Counter” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Lord have Mercy” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Andrew Hettinger” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, In round 3, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vatican Turned into a Whorehouse” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Star Trek, Star Wars, and Storm Troopers” from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “Chess Game Again” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”, then her bonus poem “Every Day is Sweetest Day”, written that morning, on Sweetest Day, 10/19/19. In round 4, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Vanquished by the Sleeping Giant” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Young Dreams from a Potential Legend” (for her “Bases Loaded” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “All These Reminders” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 5, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Uphill Battles lead to Changing It Up” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poem “Violent Affair” (for her “Nerves of a Poet” feature) from her poetry book “a year long Journey”, and then her poem “She Told Me Her Dreams (one)” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 6, Janet Kuypers reads her poem “Knowing Panic Becomes a Picnic” from her poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”, then her poems “People’s Rights Misunderstood”, and “New Vacuum Cleaner” from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 1996 v79 book “Poetry and Prose” (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera); on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr.
|
Childhood Memories I
Christmas Eve
Flooded War Memories
There I Sit |
|
|
|
Supplement #3
|
|
Poems on the Beach (7/13/08)
|
|
|
|
|
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poetry in multiple rounds during her hosting the “Poetic License” 11/3/19 open mic at Austin’s “Recycled Reads”. In round 1 she reads her poem “Keep Your Chin Up” that she wrote that day (11/3/19) because November 3rd is cliché day, as the opening to the open mic. In round 2 she reads her poem "Death" from the Poetry Wheel 6/26/08, then her poems “Gift of Motherhood One”, “Thank You, Women Who Work One”, “Coslow’s”, “Childhood Memories One”, “Christmas Eve”, and “There I Sit” from her “Slinging the Word” chapbook and Chicago WLUW Radio interview 3/18/08, and her poems “Alexi”, “a New Patient”, “Catching a Muscovy”, “Changing the Locks”, and “Childhood Memories Five” from her Poems on the Beach 7/13/08 Chicago Beach Poets feature and all read from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 3 she reads her poems “Climbing Trees”, “Conscious of It”, “False Suicide”, “Hiding Vices”, “Twin”, “Masquerade”, “Raking Leaves”, “They Called It Trust”, and “They Tried” from her Poems on the Beach 7/13/08 Chicago Beach Poets feature and all read from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera; and it was also posted on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poetry in multiple rounds during her hosting the “Poetic License” 11/3/19 open mic at Austin’s “Recycled Reads”. In round 1 she reads her poem “Keep Your Chin Up” that she wrote that day (11/3/19) because November 3rd is cliché day, as the opening to the open mic. In round 2 she reads her poem "Death" from the Poetry Wheel 6/26/08, then her poems “Gift of Motherhood One”, “Thank You, Women Who Work One”, “Coslow’s”, “Childhood Memories One”, “Christmas Eve”, and “There I Sit” from her “Slinging the Word” chapbook and Chicago WLUW Radio interview 3/18/08, and her poems “Alexi”, “a New Patient”, “Catching a Muscovy”, “Changing the Locks”, and “Childhood Memories Five” from her Poems on the Beach 7/13/08 Chicago Beach Poets feature and all read from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. In round 3 she reads her poems “Climbing Trees”, “Conscious of It”, “False Suicide”, “Hiding Vices”, “Twin”, “Masquerade”, “Raking Leaves”, “They Called It Trust”, and “They Tried” from her Poems on the Beach 7/13/08 Chicago Beach Poets feature and all read from the cc&d 2019 re-release of the May 2008 v184 book “That was the Time”. (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera; and it was also posted on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram & Tumblr).
|
Alexi
a New Patient
Cashews
a Man Calls a Woman
Catching a Muscovy
Changing the Locks
Childhood Memories Four
Climbing Trees
Conscious of It
False Suicide
Hiding Vices
Twin
Masquerade
Poker Face
Quite Happy Looking
Raking Leaves
They Called it Trust
They Tried |
|
|
Note that in the print edition of cc&d magazine, all artwork within the pages of the book appear in black and white.
Order this issue from our printer
as a perfect-bound
That was the Time
|
FOX Wants to Legally Lie
When you create the realm of what is published, you can define what’s “fair and balanced”
I was listening to Progressive Talk Radio recently while in Chicago, even though the reception and volume aren’t very loud when playing the Progressive Talk radio station in Chicago. You know, in Chicago all you can hear is republican talk radio (like Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity), and although the reception might not be as good as other stations, it’s good to hear a different perspective on the news. So when I listened I heard a story (mentioned only briefly) about two reporters working for Fox News (you know, the “fair and balanced” ones cable news station). FOX had them making a story, and when they submitted their story, the higher-ups told them they didn’t want to say that, so they were asking these two reporters to lie in their story.
Well, these two people are journalists, they don’t like the notion of lying in their news story, so they apparently went though nearly 40 rounds of changes to the story, when FOX would tell them the story needs more changing.
So after a while, FOX fired the pair of reporters. And eventually those reporters even sued FOX for what happened, and they won.
But don’t worry, FOX too took ruling to a higher court to contest it, and the jury actually found in favor of Fox News.
Now, I was in my car and couldn’t write the reporter’s names down, and I had no way of knowing how altered this story was (just from listening to one [person’s account of the story over the radio waves). So I had to just do an Internet search for more information about this story, and I could only find it in one place. So I started reading Project Censored to try to learn the full story, and for a series of news pieces of details relating to how the media no longer has to accurately release the news to people.
This started back in December of 1996, where Fox fired a married couple as investigators at WTVT in Tampa Bay, Florida. In 1997, Jane Akre and Steve Wilson worked on a bovine growth hormone (BGH) story. To quote the story by Al Krebs: “The couple produced a four-part series revealing that there were many health risks related to BGH and that Florida supermarket chains did little to avoid selling milk from cows treated with the hormone, despite assuring customers otherwise.”
Now, Akre and Wilson even said that the Fox station was initially pleased with the story. But within a week, “Fox executives and their attorneys wanted the reporters to use statements from Monsanto representatives” (Monsanto is the company that manufactured BGH) that these reporters knew were false. They were even told to make other additional untrue changes to their story. Fox apparently wanted them to produce a story that wasn’t true. So Akre and Wilson refused to lie about their findings, and they even “threatened to report Fox’s actions to the FCC,” Fox fired them.
Okay, so at this point the reporters sued Fox. “August 18, 2000, a Florida jury unanimously decided that Akre was wrongfully fired by FOX Television when she refused to broadcast (in the jury’s words) “a false, distorted or slanted story” about the widespread use of BGH in dairy cows.” In addition to that, the Florida jury found that Akre could get an additional amount of money because of Florida’s whistle blower law.
But FOX appealed the case, and less than 3 years after the ruling for the reporters (February 14, 2003), “the Florida Second District Court of Appeals unanimously overturned the settlement awarded to Akre. The Court held that Akre’s threat to report the station’s actions to the FCC did not deserve protection under Florida’s whistle blower statute, because Florida’s whistle blower law states that an employer must violate an adopted “law, rule, or regulation.” In a stunningly narrow interpretation of FCC rules, the Florida Appeals court claimed that the FCC policy against falsification of the news does not rise to the level of a “law, rule, or regulation,” it was simply a “policy.” Therefore, it is up to the station whether or not it wants to report honestly.”
Fox got away with this because they were able to assert that there is no law or rule against distorting the news in the media. And, oddly enough, they used the First Amendment to say that newscasters actually have the right to distort or lie about news report to the public, thanks to the First Amendment. Their argument never contested Akre’s claim that she was pressured by FOX to produce a false story, they just (successfully) claims that they had the right to make that report that she didn’t agree with.
And even beyond that, FOX decided to try to sue Akre and Wilson for FOX’s court costs in these suits.
Yeah, that’s not being cruel after an unfair ruling. I mean, I’m sure FOX really does need the help with their finances from these two reporters. Akre saw the irony in these suits when she said, “Attaching legal fees to whistleblowers is unprecedented, absurd. The ‘business’ of broadcasting trumps it all. These news organizations must ensure they are worthy of the public trust while they use OUR airwaves, free of charge. Public trust is alarmingly absent here.”
Liane Casten updated the story, to mention that five major media “outlets” (Belo Corporation, Cox Television, Inc., Gannett Co., Inc., Media General Operations, Inc., and Post-Newsweek Stations, Inc.) as “friends of FOX,” ruled briefs to support Fox’s position. Their statement even stated” “The station argued that it simply wanted to ensure that a news story about a scientific controversy regarding a commercial product was present with fairness and balance, and to ensure that it had a sound defense to any potential defamation claim.”
Reading that is what made me laugh my butt off. “The product was present with fairness and balance.” I’ve already thought that byline from Fox News was bull#$%&, the notion of a Republican-slanted quote unquote “news” organization so slanted calling themselves “fair and balanced,” but to then hear those words used by other news organizations to support FOX’s claim to be able to distort the news, well, that was the icing on the cake (granted, that cake was given to me with a nail file in it after the media put me in prison to losing the ability to get fair news).
But after I laughed at the insanity of overturning sanity, I realized that since FOX used the First Amendment for this decision, it meant that First Amendment rights belong to employers. The premise that the news or the airwaves belong to the people, becomes destroyed when even large corporations use the First Amendment as a shield in this way. I mean, honestly, it’s one thing when one person wants to be able to say their mind, and it’s entirely another thing when media giants hide behind the First Amendment so that they can freely distort the news to the people.
Those 5 media corporations that were “friends of FOX” even statement in their support that they were “vitally interested in the outcome of this appeal, which will determine the extent to which state whistleblower laws may incorporate federal policies that touch on sensitive questions of editorial judgment.”
Wonderful. Good thing I spout my opinions off and don‘t care who has a problem with it. But it is funny (or sad, depending on how you think of it) that these companies who are supposed to be giving you the news are worried about not only federal policies, but also individuals, who want to hear the real news, and not their distorted perspective on what they think is all you need to know.
Couple this with President Bush’s appreciation of greater media consolidation (I like the game Monopoly, but do we have the bring monopolies everywhere in the market now?), and then consider what Liane Casten thinks: “to refer to the FCC interpretation of “editorial judgment” is to potentially throw out any pretense at editorial accuracy if the “accuracy” harms a large corporation and its bottom line. This is our “Brave New Media”, the corporate media that protects its friends and now lies, unchallenged if need be.”
That really is a nice thing, corporations using rulings to help people to actually help the corporations out. That’s what paying lawyers a ton of money for, I suppose. Use the things to help protect us against us. Just what we need.
You know, I don’t have a bottom line to this story. I know that when I say something in an editorial, I look for as much evidence and as many accounts (on both sides of an issue) as I can to make a point. I’m not saying I’m not biased; everyone is, everyone wants their opinion to be the strongest and win people over. The difference comes when a large corporation decides to withhold information on a news show and more importantly, lie about findings to get the message they want across. I know the media as a rule is more liberal, and I know FOX is more conservative (or Republican). But when they use the argument of “free speech” to allow them to lie on the news, that’s when you have to question how corporataions have found individual rights to make corporaste loopholes, making you revaluate this country now works.
A basic tenet Ayn Rand used to say to people who were working on coming up with their own conclusions was “check your premises.” In order to come to the best conclusions, you need to make sure all of your preliminary data is not only correct but also thorough. If some of my sources (from Internet sites) seems questionable, I understand but if we’re worried about the validity of our sources, we may have to worry about our major news outlets as well.
|
Janet Kuypers
Editor In Chief
|
|
It Look Like We’re Hurting You,
But We’re Only Trying To Help You
how biofuels raise the price of food globally
and actually hurt the environment
Now, I know I’m a 24-hour drive-by media junkie, but I heard a few days ago in one of the television news reports that Sam’s and Costco were limiting the number of bulk packages of wheat one person could purchase. I heard this and I thought, what the Hell does one person need many 25 pound packages of rice for, I once bought one of those 25 pound bags of rice and it literally lasted me a few years. But They said they were doing this not because they were low on food, but because prices of foodstuffs like corn and wheat and rice have been going up, and they didn’t want places (like restaurants) to hoard these things to help them turn a profit in sales the next year.
And you know, I have heard of price of foodstuffs like wheat for this upcoming year, and I thought that we don’t use that much of it, and the basic and simple side of me just hoped that the price of frozen pizzas (which I wait to buy until they are on sale for at least 5/$10 before I purchase), and less than two weeks later, I saw those stupid frozen pizzas on sale for 6/$10, so I figured what the But the problem with the rising costs of foods now is because of America’s new attempts to do something to reduce our dependence on oil. I’ve heard the pleas: keep your thermostat a degree or two lower in the winter, turn off lights when you’re not in the room (I even watched an episode of Mythbusters a while ago that dispelled the rumor that leaving a light on while you are not in the room does not accurately offset the surge of power needed to turn on the light in the first place), use public transportation instead of using your cars (or better yet, stop using those gas-guzzling SUVs when you can use a more fuel-efficient car), or purchase local foods (so you’re not paying for the hauling of your specialized food by truck across the country ). And okay, I try to do that (I don’t turn on lights unless I really need them, I drive a 32-34 highway mpg Saturn instead of an Hummer), but it’s hard to purchase locally gown foods unless you happen to see a temporary shack at the side of a road near a farmer’s field to purchase anything, and if you live in the city, it’s even harder to find food grown a close distance to you.
But all of this made me think of the fact that we’re trying to do something to help the environment and reduce our dependency on middle-eastern oil, and often when we try to do something to help the economy, we shortsightedly do something we think will help but actually hurts more. For example, news stations still tell people that the best thing they can do is to still purchase a hybrid car, but (see “A Different Light on the Global Warming Debate”, at http://scars.tv/kuypers/prose/2007/a-different-light-on-the-gobal-warming-debate.htm, which is also in the October 2007 issue of cc&d, v177, at http://scars.tv/ccdissues/ccd177oct07/ccd177oct07.htm) the smelting and mining of the nickel (which has to be done in Canada) causes so much damage to the landscape that nothing can grow there, and then it goes to a nickel refinery in Europe, and then it goes to China, where they produce “nickel foam” so it is in the needed form for the battery for a hybrid car.
Oh, that and a hybrid battery lasts for only 100,000 miles, so if you keep your car, you’ll have to have the world go through this process again so you can continue to drive your car.
Sorry, that was a long example, but it seems that when we try to do something to “help,” we often end up doing more damage then the problem even did. And the scary thing is that instead of individuals purchasing hybrid cars, nations are now taking measures to “help,” and they may be causing damage on a much more global scale.
Because places like Brazil are allowing the deforestation of the Amazon rainforest for crops. Now, the Amazon rainforest (and other forest lands) are vanguard for storing carbon (you know, plants need the carbon and exhale oxygen, living plants are good for counteracting what we humans do, and I feel like I should have a greenhouse for all of the plants I keep alive in my home now), but because the world needs more land for growing things for producing fuel (which means the clearing of uninhabited land, which spells deforestation), the only natural place left for helping the environment is being destroyed so we can generate more fuel to heat our homes and drive our cars (and yes, even if you don’t drive, that applies to the footprint we cause by all of the trucks in the United States carrying your food across the country so it can get to you). John Carter (a Texas rancher who led a Reconnaissance unit in Desert Storm and also owns 20,000 acres of land in Brazil’s Mato Grosso) has witnessed the land rush first-hand, and seen the mass destruction of forestland for things like the planting soybean crops, which are promoted as a gas-alternative.
Hell, this cost of food going up isn’t apparently causing that much of a problem for me.
“You can’t protect (the rainforest),” Carter said, “There’s too much money to be made in tearing it down.”
Since biofuels have become the in-phrase to tout, and ethanol (ethyl alcohol from plant-based matter) quintupled in the United States in the past year, and is mandated for another five-fold increase, and Europe is doing the same thing. But doing this is actually accelerating global warming. As corn is harvested, forests are destroyed, giving our land less of an ability to fight the excess carbon in the atmosphere. And one fifth of the U.S. corn crop is used for fuel this way, which means (remember, supply and demand) raises the price of corn products I the food market. Because corn it touted as the oil savior (when it’s actually a very ineffective way to produce fuel versus other crops frown around the world), many soybean growers in the U.S. are actually switching their corp production, which is even causing soybean prices to rise. So to meet the global demand for these foods, countries like Brazil are expanding their fields into ranches, and to clear land for cattle and grazing pastures, rainforest land is cleared.
And the things is, corn (and even switchgrass, remember President Bush mentioning switchgrass in a speech once as being our salvation from our oil dependency) end up costing more than using actual oil-derived gasoline because of their global effects on our food supply and our short-sightedness in trying to solve a problem with an inappropriate patch.
According to Time, “One groundbreaking new study in Science concluded that when this deforestation effect is taken into account, corn ethanol and soy biodiesel produce about twice the emissions of gasoline... Only sugarcane based ethanol is efficient enough to cut emissions by more than it takes to produce the fuel.”
And when it comes to corn, the amount of corn needed to be grown to produce enough fuel to fill up the tank of an ethanol-fueled SUV is enough corn to feed a person for an entire year.
Even if the U.s., which is the leader in the world in corn and soybean production, used 100% of both crops for fuel, it would only be enough for 20% of on-road fuel consumption.
And you wonder why the prices of foods are going up.
This is a phenomenon that you can see happening around the world. After reading a Time article (April 7, 2008), I learned that this ripple effect can be seen everywhere. “Indonesia has bulldozed and burned so much wilderness to grow palm oil trees for biodiesel that its ranking among the world’s top carbon emitters has surged from 21st to third... Malaysia is converting forests into palm oil farms...and running out of uncultivated land.” And yes, Brazil is only deforesting a small portion of the rainforest for planning sugarcane (which actually is a more effective use of food for ethanol than corn), but because of that trickle-down plan of the use of corn in other fields offsetting food globally, land is being destroyed in Brazil for other purposes.
According to Time (in the article “The Clean Energy Scam,” http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1725975,00.html), “a Rhode Island—size chunk of the Amazon was deforested in the second half of 2007 and even more was degraded by fire.” And some scientists believe that the Amazon rainforest could be reduced to “to a savanna or even a desert.”
“Deforestation accounts for 20% of all current carbon emissions. So unless the world can eliminate emissions from all other sources—cars, power plants, factories, even flatulent cows—it needs to reduce deforestation or risk an environmental catastrophe.”
And to prove that corn and deforestation isn’t the answer, a Study from Tim Searchinger, a Princeton scholar and former Environmental Defense attorney, concluded that overall, corn ethanol has a payback period of about 167 years because of the deforestation it triggers.
Since Brazil is surging ahead in much the same way the United States did when it was starting to grow as a country, they do not see anything wrong with some aspects of what they are doing (we didn’t see anything wrong with the way we treated the Native American Indians in this country either). The do have guidelines in land owners only being able to deforest 20% of their land, but Blairo Maggi (the Mato Grosso province’s Governor) even said “There’s no money for enforcement, so people do what they want.” As pointed out in the Time article, “Maggi has been a leading pioneer on the Brazilian frontier, and it irks him that critics in the U.S.—which cleared its forests and settled its frontier 125 years ago.” Maggi said, “But we want to achieve what you achieved in America. We have the same dreams for our families. Are you afraid of the competition?”
So it seems that biofuels, which are causing food prices to rise globally, are not necessarily a part of the solution for global warming and reducing our dependence on foreign oil — in the way we are using corn, these biofuels seem to be a part of the problem. And if we’re thinking of Global Warming (and not just reducing our dependence on oil form the Middle East), we should be doing more than trying to only switch to biofuels. They say to use more energy-efficient light bulbs (though energy-efficient CFLs have methyl mercury in them, which is actually a man-made molecule, and a lot more dangerous than other forms of mercury, and we have no proper method of removing it from recycling the glass in these bulbs, so this stuff gets seeped into our soil, and this harmful stuff gets back to us...), and we need more energy-efficient homes and lifestyles. When you say that (change your lifestyle, cut back on things, deprive yourself of things) it reminds me of how Objectivist arguments propose that environmentalists aren’t interested in saving the planet but in restricting humans, so I’m not necessarily interested. But if I have to drive a car, I’ll use the fuel-efficient Saturn instead of paying too much money for an SUV, and if I have to work, I’ll do it without turning on every light bulb in the house (I know I’ve got a computer on to write this, but I haven’t turned on a light to work because of windows bringing natural light into my office). If we’re not willing to restrict our life to latch onto a plan which some say without thinking will help the environment, we can at least think about the choices we make in our everyday lives, and see how living smartly can not only save us money, but also leave less of a carbon footprint behind.
|
Janet Kuypers
Editor In Chief
|
|
Caruntitled 3, art by Paul Baker
More Harm than Good?
from Watching the world, Awake! magazine 01/08
A few years ago, Dutch politicians and environmentalists thought that hey had found the key to sustainable energy — running generators on biofual, noteably palm oil. Their hopes became “an environmental nightmare,” says The New York Times. “Rising demand for palm oil in Europe brought about the clearing of huge tracks of Southeast Asian rainforest and the overuse of chemical fertilizers there.” Plantations were created by draining and burning peatland, sending “huge amounts” of carbon gases into the atmosphere. As a result, says the times, Indonesia fast became the “world’s third-leading producer of carbon emissions that scientists believe is responsible for global warming.”
|
Sacrifice to the Gods, art by Rose E. Grier
That Was The Time
Julia O’Donovan
The grounds are full of ice
The mail carrier is moving slow
How many times have they slipped?
Their balance must be good
I remember the winter
Mother slipped on the ice
Came down hard
Breaking her leg
That was the year
I drank too much
They put me in restraints
And pumped my stomach
That was the time
We should have
Packed it up
Called it quits
No one liked you
Said I could do better
But I let you
Bully me
You were so controlling
You once called me
Home from work early
To mow the fucking lawn
That was the year
You threw a chair at me
For something
I didn’t understand
You made it a point
For me to be
As miserable
As you
You said you would leave me
When I turned thirty
I turned thirty
And thankfully, you left
|
Teenage Girl
Holly Cross
Standing in the rain or snow for thirty minutes
waiting for the drunk bus driver
who is late because his midnight shift at the plant held him over.
Riding on a bus with no seatbelt, while
large boys climb over you to go to the back to smoke.
Trying to cover yourself because your wet clothes cling to your new body.
The boys are staring at your breasts.
You think they are staring at the dimples of fat around your hips.
You feel exposed, teenage girl.
You can’t be bothered with facts and numbers.
You’re naked!
The mind slips in and out of girlhood.
It twirls into places, scary places filled with ballet shoes and jelly beans
and the cologne scented collar bone of that football player.
The mind turns on itself.
The world turns on you.
You look for an escape,
but no one shows you the way.
Diving off of cliffs of rock
a phone is ringing
the smell of copper hangs in the air.
It suffocates.
How do you get out alive?
How did your Mother?
How did your sister?
How do we all?
Rest, teenage girl.
There is more, so much more.
|
The Pick Up Line
Shannon Krol
What a fool you are
To think your good looks
Would make me fall to my knees
I am not one to love an empty box because I like the wrapping
Take your hollowness away.
Your lines make me laugh in your face.
Call me a bitch it will make me laugh more
I am not another feeble-minded whore.
|
City
Kenneth DiMaggio
Say Hi to your Mom
whose housing project
in Hartford
is more dangerous than
your ambush ready car bomb
in Baghdad
And this Hello for the Holidays
transmission is brought to you by
the suburban white TV
that would usually show
your boy Carlos or Efrain
as the victim
but mostly perpetrator
on the eleven p.m. news
which always leads
with a fuzzy convenience store
surveillance tape of a ski mask faced
teenager pistol whipping
a broken English speaking immigrant
serving as the latest stand in
for the American Dream
At least
we know how obesity
became Obese-city
--the only neon still blazing
is to advertise the tin-foil wrapped
micro-fried cholesterol
while our souls
get similar unhealthy zaps
from a satellite above
that warms up the same talk show trauma
and epileptic religious revival
which filters back down
as invisible fallout that only shows
up in “Rest in Peace” tattoos
for all the friends and relatives
lost to suicide overdose gun shot
or drive by say
Bye
to your daughter or son
who stand a better chance
against some old Peugeot taxi
rigged to explode
And who or what will start the fire
that will burn you out
of your rent-controlled but riot-ruined
brick that will smoke choke clog
a crib caged niece but fail to kill
the cockroaches and other vermin
that will give the free breakfast program
pre-school kids asthma and skin disease
--you just never know
where the poison will come from
It’s just another poem to tattoo
on a junk food fueled narrative
|
In The Breakfast Room
At The Holiday Inn Express
David J. Thompson
I’m trying real hard to sip my coffee and read
the sports pages of my complimentary USA Today,
but obviously the Japanese tourists have not mastered
the finer points of the American waffle iron.
The high pitched screams of pain make it hard
to concentrate and the odor of burning flesh
renders my cinnamon role inedible, so I put
a lid on my coffee, grab a peach yogurt,
and head back to my room to find out
who won last night’s games on ESPN.
|
sculpture in Shanghai, China... photographed by John Yotko
Picklish
David Lawrence
What Democrat is sour as a pickle?
She belongs in a vat on the lower east side.
She wants to be the great Vlassic in the sky.
“Give me my husband’s job back,”
Is her modus operandi.
If she can discredit the war in Iraq
She can rent out Lincoln’s
Bedroom again.
Hillary is hoping that she can become
President and add her sperm to Bill’s old blue dress.
|
Hanging Together in Minnesota
Michael Lee Johnson
Two thousand men on death row
in the state of Texas. I’ve never
been here, still I’m worrying
myself to death.
Webs of worry travel fast,
scan over my memory bank
back and forth like a copy machine.
I refuse to get out of my bed
I’m covered with burnt dream ashes
held in custody my cobwebbed anxiety
sheets waiting for the on looking armed
system of justice to take me away.
Their loud speakers keep screaming channeled
commands through vibrating my eardrums;
their messages keep cross-firing against my own desires.
There must be a warrant out for my arrest.
I will not listen period. I will shut out the sounds period.
Insanity echoes with stressed sounds.
It’s Sunday morning, prayer time, I swear I will block out
the church bells ringing on Franklin Avenue, ringing
at St. Paul’s Baptist Church.
Religion confuses me like poetry or prose.
I curse I will hang where Christ used to dangle;
wooden cross-post in a Roman Catholic hole,
or was it protestant reformation?
I’m the thief, not the Savior.
I don’t want to die in my worry, my words, stranger in this world alone.
I want to resurrect the dream before the wounds came, and placed me in exile.
Long before the sounds of cell phones came ringing.
There must be a warrant out for my arrest.
Mixed in war, thunder, and sentence fragment.
|
Michael Lee Johnson Bio
Mr. Michael Lee Johnson lives in Itasca, IL after spending 10 years in Edmonton, Alberta Canada during the Viet Nam era. He is a freelance writer and poet. He is heavy influenced by Carl Sandburg, Robert Frost, William Carlos Williams, and Leonard Cohen. 200 plus poems pending publication or published. He is a member of Poets & Writers, Inc; Directory of American Poets & Fictions Writers: pw.org/directory. Recent publications: The Orange Room Review, Bolts of Silk, Chantarelle’s Notebook, The Foliate Oak Online Literary Magazine, Poetry Cemetery , Official Site of Laura Hird, The Centrifugal Eye, Adagio Verse Quarterly, Scorched Earth Publishing and many others. Published in USA, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Scotland, Turkey, Fuji, Nigeria Africa, India, and the United Kingdom.
You can also find him in the Illinois Center for the Book.
Michael Lee Johnson’s cc&d chapbook (40 pages, released 06/13/07) The Lost American is available for viewing and for sale (free download, or $5.00 for print copy purchase).
The 57 page chapbook The Lost American: A Tender Touch & A Shade Of Blue is also available for sale at lulu.com for $11.98 here: http://www.lulu.com/content/936633
The 90 page paperback The Lost American II: From Exile to Freedom is available for $13.93 for sale.
And it is also at IUniverse.
The book is also listed at Amazon.com, & Barnes & Noble. Visit his website at: http://poetryman.mysite.com/. He is now the publisher, editor of Poetic Legacy
|
Among The Debris
Ken Fisher
High-stepping cautiously through the tall weeds
Overwhelming an Inuit graveyard
We wend our way silently, over flagstones
That once formed a path into mourning
But now, rampant growth just obscures the old trail
From the church parking-lot, dirt and gravel,
As we tread single-file, respectfully quiet
Beneath the huge yews standing vigil
Picket slats long ago blasted by storm
Into pathetic submission
Lie, strewn and scattered, among the debris
Of last Fall’s descent into Winter
We enter a graveyard unlike countless others
I’ve visited spanning the years
While searching the head-stones for humor’s defiance
And stories deserving a witness
But here, we have furring-strips slapped into crosses,
And granite’s nowhere to be seen,
Just picket fences, some painted and tended,
Enclosing each burial space
Though most struggle hopelessly, losing support
In their battle against gravity,
Leaning upon low, weathered, gray shacks
A leprechaun couldn’t crawl into
Which frame out the resting place of every body
Laid out in a timeless repose
Beneath the protection of warped, battered boards
Now popping nails loose with each season
If you took a false step, your foot would cave through
The boards buried six months in drifts
While whispering faintly of lives long forgotten
Which once braved the chill of Alaska
Perhaps the soft murmuring only craves witness
Perhaps it protests lack of privacy
But suddenly uncomfortable, questioning intrusion
On sacred land now swallowed up by Nature
I pick my way despondently back through the weeds
In hope I’ve not offended with my presence
Where such dilapidation seems an insult
To even one as casual toward ritual as I
I know it doesn’t matter to their God or to their souls
To gaze down on the weeds and broken slats becoming earth
So why then does it feel a gross indignity?
Why then does it matter to my soul?
As we try to put two hundred miles behind us,
In a chill that nags my conscience
While we tail the midnight sun.
|
We Infest Earth
Joe Frey
We infest earth as maggots would rancid meat.
Whilst we are the only living organism that,
with our selfish manifestation, would infest
to infect that which we need to exist.
This earth, yielding our fruition, affording
us our atmosphere and environment - is our life.
So steadfast are we in the corruption,
the absolute depletion of our very existence.
An immanency as this I urgently pen for
our awareness. The maggots will
multiply as they devour then move on.
Although there is no moving on for us.
The self-indulgent existence of our very lives will
have pathetically withered away. Like the maggots
away from futile meat they crawl, expunged.
Strung with yellow caution around Her axis,
She begs you, before the irreversible damage is done
|
Shallow Water
Tanya Rucosky Noakes
I wanted everything
you could give me
when you said , “I love you.”
all your secret self
nothing to elude me
no consuming hunger.
When I had you all
for cheap as the asking,
I found myself bored
that you had nothing more
that you were nothing more
than what could be given.
|
somewhere along the line
Adam Joseph Ortiz
someone discovered that
people will purchase feces
if laced with enough perfume
and advertising hype.
Sexy! Sporty! Cool! Patriotic!
Safe! Family-Friendly! Pure!
God-Like! Environmentally Friendly!
and now there is feces everywhere.
on television. in books.
in our food. on computer
screens. at our stores.
even in our souls. there
is feces
everywhere.
|
Aftiel
Michaela Sefler
The angel of twilight
between light and darkness
he does rule, in between,
where all is possible.
All sides strengthening and ebbing
coming and going;
a continuum
and the beauty of the in between is still.
For perfect is the mix
of light and darkness
none more then the other
for the eye to behold.
Dusk and sunrise
sunset and dawn;
in the in-between
is the angel ruling.
The point
where all can be set right
for none know the true mystery of creation.
|
The Strange Effects Of Weather
Joseph D. Reich
as always
out of nowhere
like some miracle
autumn comes tumbling in
through your window
while all you hear
is the murmur
of some madman
over your television
for spot-remover
and angels
weeping
jimmy stewart still strolling down the street
with his imaginary rabbit harvey
making small-talk
and offering his colorful opinions
embracing the seasons and not giving
a rip van-winkle about rumors from gossipy neighbors.
in truth in reality
he never really cared
much for them anyway
as that sweet & saintly girl
from ‘wonderful’ still holds a pretty
deep crush on him despite his ways
and falls fast asleep with a big dumb
stupid smile on his face next door
to the rapturous roar of foghorns.
the drunken girls all
return home from karaoke bars
while it is no wonder he feels neither
conflict nor contrition
about his supposed bizarre
arrested stage of development
as in a couple months time
he will see his repeats over
and over again on television.
|
Global Warming and Conservation stats
I haven’t given the world too many stats about global warming (or conserving energy) recently. But I saw these statements in the magazine American Way (October 1997) and thought I’d share them with you.
Worldwide consumption of bottled water reached 154 billion liters (41 million gallons) in 2004, an increase of 57% in 5 years.
In the U.S., we go through more than 75 million bottles of bottled water a year. And more than 1 billion people worldwide don’t have access to safe drinking water.
A carbon footprint is made up of two parts:
1. the primary/direct footprint is the measure of our CO2 emissions from the burning of fossil fuels, including transportation and direct energy consumption
2. the indirect/secondary footprint is the measure of the indirect CO2 emissions from the whole life cycle of products we use (which includes manufacture through breakdown)
Compact fluorescent light bulbs last 6 to 10 times longer, and are more energy efficient.
(editor’s note: from the cc&d October 2007 editorial: ”CFLs [compact fluorescent lights] have methyl mercury in them, which is actually a man-made molecule, and a lot more dangerous than other forms of mercury.” And we don’t try to save and recycle this harsh substance: “People usually (whenever bulbs die, even these CFLs) throw the light bulbs away, or possibly recycle them [for the glass only”.)
We lose at least 37.5 million acres (that’s about the size of the state of Georgia) of rainforest each year and rainforests are home to half of the earth’s animal and plant species.
The average washing machine uses 40.9 gallons of water per load.
Half of the forests that originally covered 48% of the earth’s land surface are gone.
Organic farming is typically 30% more energy efficient than traditional farming.
The average car emits twice its weight in CO2 each year.
Disposable diapers take 200 to 500 years to decompose.
At the current rate of global warming, all the glaciers in Glacier National Park (which is in Coutts, AB, Canada) will be gone by 2070.
It takes 90 years to grow a box of tissue.
In 2006, China overtook the United States as the biggest CO2 emitter.
The number of hurricanes worldwide classified as either category 4 or 5 has almost doubled in the past 35 years.
In the United States, it takes about a third of a pound of synthetic fertilizers and pesticides to grow enough cotton for one t-shirt.
Every year, catalog industries send more than 20 million catalogs or 67 per person in America.
Sea levels could rise more than 20 feet with the loss of Greenland’s and Antarctica’s shelf ice.
The CO2 emissions in cars when going 65 mph instead of 55 mph more than double (no fair, I like to speed - ed.)
A U.S. Household typically generates 45,000 pounds of greenhouse gas emissions per year.
In order to prevent Taj Mahal pollution, visitors must park almost 2 miles away and take either a battery-run bus or a horse-drawn carriage to get there (though this statistic never mentioned walking the 2 miles... - ed.)
The U.S. Uses about $1 million in energy per minute.
The Arctic Ocean could be ice-free in the summers by 2050.
American throw away 25 billion foam cups each year.
Driving 10 fewer miles every week could eliminate 500 pounds of CO2 emissions a year.
In the U.S. Each year, more than 100 billion pounds of food is wasted.
Every 20 minutes, we add 3,500 human lives to the planet, but lose 1 or more animal or plant species.
Eight trees will cancel out 4 years’ worth of garbage.
|
Janet Kuypers
Editor In Chief
|
|
Bafflement
Pat Dixon
“I had one hell of a frustrating dream this morning, Margie. It really pisses me off.”
Marjorie Hamilton glanced up from her computer, where she was processing a batch of interlibrary loan requests.
“Why’s that, Dr. S.?” she said with a quiet smile.
“Because I don’t see any ways I can use it, of course,” said Kate Shaughnessy, frowning and shrugging in a theatrical way. “My dreams ought to be of use to me. Usually they are. Well, occasionally they are.”
“Be with you in a sec,” said Marjorie. “Just give mea momentmore. There. So tell me about it. I can give you six minutesthen I’ll have to take another work break. First, what was your dream?”
“Well, you know I was married for two years, right? Anyways, I’m sure I never told you I had a little childa boyKevinwho was premature and only lived for five and a half hours. I actually held him almost the whole while, knowing that he was dying, but that’s not the point. He was my only childand this morning I had a dream that I had a very tiny baby girlno name for her in the dreamjust a tiny light-haired girl that was lying on the center of a twin bed looking up at me. How ‘bout that?”
“Maybe it was a sort of wish type of dream,” said Marjorie.
“NoI’m pretty sure it wasn’t. I came into the room, anxious that I’d left herthat I’d forgotten about her and was doing other thingsthat I’d gotten sidetracked with personal stuff of my ownand I realized that she could fall off the bed onto the floor while I was away and, maybe, break her neck orcrack her skull andbecome damagedcrippled ornot right in the head, you know? By the way, it was my own bedroom she was in, but not on my bed. My bed’s a so-called full-size or double, while this was clearly just a twin bedand that’s important, too.”
Kate paused, frowned again, and shook her head twice. Marjorie raised both her eyebrows encouragingly.
“Yes?”
“She was the size of a newborn, lying there on her back, wearing a little diaper. Then she began to shrinkand darkenand roll over on her stomachand I just stood there at the foot of the bed and watched it happen. She shrank and shrank and shrankright down to about half an inchlike a dark little cricketand no longer had a diaperat least that I noticed. If she had one, it was brownish-black, like her teeny body, so it blended in. Then she began to crawl and make little hops towards the side edge of the bedand I just stood there and watched and didn’t try to stop her.”
“Pretty damn’ creepy!” said Marjorie with a rapid shrug,.
“Yup. And then my little daughter hopped off the bed onto my rug, scuttled to the baseboard near my closetand crawled out of sightand I woke up.”
“Hmm. Were you reading Kafka recentlyor teaching one of his stories? I recall one where I guy woke up as a cockroach or something.”
“No, it wasn’t like that. I’ve taught that story a dozen times and have it coming up again next termbut I’ve figured out what this means. At least I’m pretty sure I have. You know what’s my chief problem these days?”
“Getting tenure?”
“Well, probablyas my long-term goal here at Witherspoon. No, I mean my immediate problemday-to-day, week-to-week.”
“Your mom? Your mom’s careas she goes, well, battier?”
“Yup. It’s like role reversal. I’m the adult in charge now, and she’s getting more and more childish every time I see her. She’s been in the hospital in Hartford for over four weeks, and I’ve started scouting rest homes for her. I’m planning on moving heragainfourth time in seven years. Each time I’ve moved her, she hates the place for half a year or so, which upsets me, too. Whatever is left of her brain will blame me for whatever she’s unhappy withor so I feel. She has lost a lot more marbles in just the past month, so she might notice the change less.”
Marjorie nodded sympathetically. She had been through something similar.
“My momwho has a twin bedand wears diapersis like a little baby girl now and seems to be shrinking down into something less than humansomething I try toto, well, distance myself from, physicallyand emotionally. Anyways, that’s how I interpreted my own dream while I was lying awake five minutes before getting up: I was feeling guilty about pulling away and somehow neglecting my momwho was going to vanish after she shrank more and more and more.”
“I guess that makes sensethough you know you are one weird ‘mother,’ Kate.”
“Hayes, I am, aren’t I? But the dream itself didn’t really trouble me, Margie. It was mainly that I couldn’t think of any ways to use itremember?”
“What do you mean ‘use’?”
“Well, I’m always on the lookout for ways to turn stuff into storieslemons into lemonade, or whatever. You’ve been to a couple of my little fiction readings upstairs here, right?”
“Yuh. More than a couple. And?”
“Parts of some of my stories, as I tell audiences, have come from some of my own dreamsaltered, turned inside-out, sex-changed, whatever. And many of my recent stories have to do with my so-called ‘elder care’ experiences. Anyways, I can’t figure any waysof turning this perfectly good, reasonable, vivid dream into a short story. I’ve got a new alter-ego characterCharlie Bennettwho is caring for his elderly mom in several of my latest stories, but he is not bright enough to have such a dreamand understand it. I can’t think of any way he could come up with the correct interpretation for such a dreamand besides, he hasn’t had any children, and for this dream he should’ve had at least one son.”
“Hmm. Maybe you should invent a female alter ego that is smart enough.”
“I’ve got one for non-elder-care storiesPat Dixon. She’s smart enough, but I’d have to reinvent a lot of her life. She doesn’t have any childrenat least none I know of yetand I don’t know, yet, what her situation is with any parents she might have.”
“You’ll think of something. Maybe you just need a whole new alter-ego character.”
|
Slush Pile
G.A. Scheinoha
A long table stands between you, an oak distance greater than mere miles. Submissions trickle in daily, flutter down among the myriad other papers, scraps of his own ideas, dreams, synapses made known, the whole littering, burying this makeshift desk.
Good place for A Norseman funeral, the corpus delecti laid out atop the clutter. Only real requirement for a proper sendoff to Valhalla isn’t some chubby blonde Valkrie beneath horned Haagar helmet who waits her fat chance to sing. Just the torch/pen to enflame the mind with these words.
Now he knows what was previously unfathomable; the power of an editor (albeit for a cheap, photocopied zine). How like some dubious deity, an odious Odin of the far north who doesn’t need Thor’s hammer, he hurls thunderbolts of rejection with one hand and quiet letters of acceptance with the other.
|
Mason’s Two Dollar Bill
Jim Meirose
Mason sat on the grey metal seat welded to the side of the tall green two dollar bill machine, feeling the cold come up from the steel, signaling his body that he was where he belonged. He had been on the job four weeks now; and it was so much better than his prior job, running a handle grinding machine at Steele’s Hammer Works. Those machines were so puny and spindly. This machine was so much more massive and powerful; feeling Godlike, he leaned his bony shoulder against the heavy green steel casting, pressing buttons, pulling levers, and watching meters and turning valves, sending shivers of earsplitting vibration through the great machine’s frame and himself; up through the seat and into his spine and into his throbbing brain; and once more he was told by the great mechanism that he was exactly where he belonged, where he’d always been meant to end up; and at last the tall stacks of two dollar bills came smoothly out the wide maw of the machine onto a heavy framed solid steel dolly. Short squat swarthy Tillman, Mason’s helper, would take the massive Dolly when it was full, and bring it to where the money would be processed further, and he brought back an empty dolly and put it its placeand the two dollar bill machine would barely pause, before the great motors and gears and levers and rods and cylinders and printing press plates deep inside powered up again, and Mason gripped the handholds and half closed his blue eyes once more, riding high on the vibration and the noise and the heat radiating from the great mass of steel beside him.
Higher.
Higher!
Higher!
Just these few weeks on the wonderful job and he already had the massive machine mastered. Proudly he sat high in the operator’s seat, day after day, mindlessly absorbing the vibration and the heat and the noise, until one day Jim Pritchard the horse-faced manager came up in his white shirt and short wide tie and motioned for Mason to stop the machine, that he wanted to speak to him. Mason pushed three red buttons and the machine whined to a shuddering groaning stop, as though it was angry at having been stoppedand he hopped off the seat five feet onto the floor.
“What do you need, Mr. Pritchard?” said Mason, pushing his shock of black hair from his black eyes, his ears ringing from the din of the machine and his backbone tingling.
“What is it?” he repeated. “What can I do for you?”
The stooped over tall Pritchard raised a brown clipboard before him in his long spindly fingers as he answered.
“We need you to work this machine Saturday and Sunday, Mason. Nine to five shift. Full quota. What do you say?”
Mason fought the vibration from his head and screwed up his lips and scratched at his chin. He had plans with his pale plain wife Edna to take her mother to St. Andrew’s shrine this Saturday afternoon. Edna believed in prayer; Edna wanted to go badly. Edna believed in God.
Mason grimaced and brought his hand down from his chin and shoved it in the pocket of his blue work pants, and told the truth as Edna would have wanted.
“Sorry, Mr. Pritchard, I really can’t work overtime this weekendme and Edna and her Mom have plans”
Pritchard’s large watery blue eyes flashed and his jaw dropped.
“I’m afraid you’ve got no choice,” he said to Mason in a lower, rougher voice. “I’ll tell you what Masonovertime is mandatory hereIf you don’t come in this Saturday and Sunday, then don’t come in Monday or Tuesday or anymore at all. Listenwe need you Mason. We need you on this machine Saturday and Sunday. We’ve got quotas to make. We’re behind where we should be. There’s money at stake. We need you. That’s it. Be here. I know you will.”
Pritchard smiled dimly, narrowed his eyes, turned around on his heel and went back to his glass walled office and sat down and put his clipboard on the desk and picked up the phone and started to punch the buttons. Mason stared across at him, hardly believing he’d just heard what he had, until big Tillman came up pushing an empty dolly, gripping its handles in his wide hands.
“What’s the matter, Mason?” said Tillman through fleshy lips. “Why are you just standing there like that? You look pissed off or something. Why isn’t the machine running”
“I supposed I am pissed off, Tillman,” said Mason. “I’m pissed off, and I’m confused.”
“Why?”
Mason’s eyes flashed.
“Do you ever get asked to work overtime, Tillman?”
“Sure I do,” he said slowly. “All the time.”
“Do you ever say no to the overtime?”
Tillman looked around and scratched at an arm.
“Oh, sure, once in a whilebut it never matters to Pritchard if I do. Anybody can do my job. There’s nothing to it. Just push this thing. Push it up full, push it back empty, push it up full, push it back empty. You see me. It’s not like your job up there in your seat, all complicated with all those handles and meters and buttons and valves and all that. I couldn’t do that kind of job. You got a brain, Mason. That’s why they got you up there.”
“But you say no to overtime?” asked Mason again.
“Yes I do.”
“Thanks.”
Grim-faced Mason swung himself back up onto the chair on the side of the two dollar bill machine and pressed the buttons and pulled the levers, watched the meters and turned the valves, that sent the din of the gnashing of gears and grinding of steel and the clatter of all the moving parts in the machinery winding all around him like a heavy white halo of earsplitting noise that he rode for the rest of the afternoon, smothering out all thoughts of what Pritchard had said, making him feel great as it always did, as his spine and brain were nearly shaken to bits, until the loud whistle mounted high on the yellow concrete block wall blew that said it was four thirtytime to stop the machine and go home to Edna. As he cleaned up in the washroom he plunged his filthy hands into the steaming hot water and the words of Pritchard came back to him and he bit his lip hard, nearly bloody, to stop them from winding through his brain.
then don’t come in Monday or Tuesday or any day at all
Pritchard couldn’t have meant that, thought Mason.
Nobody ever means anything like that.
Pritchard couldn’t have meant that at all.
YesPritchard was just joking. A weird kind of Joke, but a joke. After all Pritchard had smiled as he turned away. Yes.
Mason smiled, deeply relieved.
At home he went up the grey back steps and through the back shed and into the small yellow kitchen. Edna stood by the sink in a flowered dress with a dishrag hung in one hand and a plate in the other.
“Hello honey,” said Mason, going over and lightly pecking her on the cheek.
“Hello,” she said smiling, flipping the dishrag and plate up on the drainboard. She leaned her bottom against the counter edge and folded her arms.
“So what’s new with you?” she asked. “Still like the new job? I’m so glad you’ve got a job you can stand”
He unbuttoned his blue shirt as he answered.
“Ohyes, its fine. But a little problem came up today.” “What?” she said, suddenly straight-lipped, pressing a fist to her hip. “What problem?”
He slipped out of his shirt and draped it over a chairback as he spoke, being honest as he knew she always wanted him to be.
“I need to work the two dollar bill machine Saturday and Sunday. We can’t go to the shrine.”
Edna’s pale eyes bugged, and she planted a fist against her hip.
“I’m sorry Ednawe can go another weekend”
“What?” she said harshly. “This has been set up for a month. Mom really wants to go this Saturday. Its all she’s talking about.”
Mason swallowed hard and wrung his hands.
“I know,” he said. “But I can’t help it.”
She folded her arms and shook her head.
“Well, just tell them you can’t work, you’ve got plans.”
He tugged at a sleeve of his white t-shirt.
“I did,” he said. “It didn’t do any good.”
“Why not?”
Mason glanced down from her frown, then back up into it, blinking hard to beat it back.
“Mr. Pritchard said if I don’t work the overtime, I shouldn’t come back ever again.”
Her mouth formed into a large O.
“What? Does he really mean that?”
He shuffled his heavy work shoes.
“Well, I don’t think soI mean I hope not.”
She leaned on the countertop and tilted her head.
“You mean nobody there can ever say no to overtime?”
He told her what Tillman had saidthat he had said no to it, and gotten by, and why.
“Lord!” she cried, pacing from one end of the kitchen to the other and flailing her arms in time with her words. “You mean because you do a more complicated job than somebody else there, you get punished? Because you’re good at your job? That’s wrong Mason. That’s so so wrong.”
She planted her hip hard against the countertop and threw her head back.
He waved a hand and stepped across the room.
“I know it’s wrong, Edna. But there’s nothing I can do”
She raised a hand to stop his words and pushed away from the countertop and stepped toward him.
“Yes you can,” she said sharply, pointing into his chest. “Tell them that if you’re going to be forced to work, you’ll only work if you get paid for the overtime. You get paid for overtime down there, don’t you?”
She looked up at him hard-eyed, her mouth tight.
“I don’t know if I get overtime pay”
Her jaw dropped.
“What? What do you mean you don’t know if you get overtime pay? Didn’t you find that out when you interviewed for the job?”
“No. But I like the jobmy machine”
She raised a finger into his face.
“But nothing!” she said. “That’s it! Go in tomorrow and say you need to get paid, or you won’t work. That’s it. That’s what you’ll do. Never mind you like the job, your machine, and all that baloney. You work for money! You work to get paid! You won’t be forced without being paid!”
“All right,” said Mason wearily.
All right.
She filled the table with food from the oven and stove and they slid onto their hard kitchen chairs. They ate their chicken and mashed potatoes and peas and a ring of silence Mason couldn’t stand formed around them, tightening the room about him, tightening a ring about his head, making him eat faster and fastershe was right. He shouldn’t be forced. The food nearly choked him going down. He shouldn’t be forced unless he got paid, the silence told him. And he should be paid well. Suddenly he was grateful for the silence; the silence always told him what was right. The evening passed, they watched TV, they chatted lightly, no more talk about work, except one thing.
“You know what Edna?”
“What?”
“I’m going to tell them tomorrow Edna. Everything you said is right.”
“Of course its right. Good. I love you Mason.”
“I love you too.”
They went to bed. He went to sleep quickly, deeply fatigued by the earsplitting noise and vibrations and stresses and strains and hard words of the day. And sleep was an escape for him; an escape from all the stresses.
The morning came too quickly, as always.
Edna was right, he thought as he dressed. He would tell Pritchard. He would go see him first thing.
He would get paid, or not work. That’s it.
After entering the huge grey-floored factory building, Mason made his way around the giant ten dollar and one dollar machines toward Pritchard’s office at the dead center of the factory floor. The machines roared with great rattling and rolling and pumping and sighing sounds that told him what he had to do, as he strode forward, his steeltoes shuffling confidently across the smooth concrete.
Need to tell Pritchardno work unless there’s overtime.
Need to tell Pritchard.
Need to tell him
Need to
Need
Mason rounded the corner of a large roaring and chattering one dollar bill machine and faced the door to Pritchard’s office. Pritchard sat at his desk, his back to the door, and his head down, examining some document laid on his lap before him, his skinny chicken neck showing every bone up the back. Mason knocked at the steel doorframe. Pritchard swiveled his chair around with a loud metallic screech. He spoke as though surprised at the sight of Mason. Mason always went straight to his job. What could be wrong?
His eyebrows rose. His lips writhed out words.
“Masonhow’re you? What can I do for you? Something wrong with the two dollar bill presssomething you need it’s the ink room isn’t it? They don’t have your ink”
“No, Mr. Pritchard,” said Mason. “I want to talk about the overtime you told me about on Saturday and Sunday.”
“Oh right,” said Pritchard, lowering his brow and tossing his paperwork on the desk, leaning back, and rubbing his slightly protruding belly. “Decided to work it have you? That’s good. I knew you’d come around. I knew you’d do the right thing.”
His mouth twisted into a syrupy smile.
Mason looked down, coughed lightly into his hand, cleared his suddenly bone-dry throat, then looked up and gripped the doorframe harder as he forced out words.
“Yes, oh yes, I’ll probably work itI’m working it out with my wife and her motherbut actually I was wondering if I’ll be paid for working the overtime if I do.”
Pritchard slid a hand into his pocket and slightly threw back his long-faced head and spoke through yellowish protruding front teeth.
“Well of course you won’t be paid for it, he said. You’re a salaried employee. Salaried employees don’t get paid for overtime. Overtime is part of the jobit’s mandatory. You don’t have a forty hour a week jobyou work the time it takes to get the job done. Didn’t they make this clear to you during your job interview? It’s something they should have covered Mason. I can’t believe they didn’t.”
Mason’s stomach once more grew deeply hollow and he gripped the doorframe even harder, his nails digging into the thick paint.
“Well,” he said in a thin voice. “No they didn’t.”
“They should have,” said Pritchard. “I can hardly believe they didn’t. We’re professionals back here in this plant. Professionals don’t count nickels and dimes about getting paid for a few hours of overtime. Professionals do the job. That’s it. We need you to work, Mason, and that’s it.” Pritchard sat ramrod straight and his large hard eyes bored into Mason’s as he waited for a reply.
Mason gulped hardhis throat was drywhy was his throat so dry? He dug his nails deeper into the doorframe.
“Wellokay Mr. Pritchardthanks for the answer,” Mason heard himself say meekly, and Pritchard quickly raised a skinny white sleeved arm to signal that that was all he expected to hear back from Mason.
“Now go out there and run that press down into the ground,” said Pritchard, his mouth in a smile, his lips writhing wormlike. “Pump out those two dollar billsthey’re important. Nobody can run that machine like you, Mason. Nobody’s ever run that machine like you. So go to it. And we’ll see you Saturday and Sunday.”
Pritchard looked down, turned a page of the paperwork before him, and bent once more to his work without waiting for Mason to answer. No answer was expected; just obedience. Wrapped in the rattling and roaring of the machinery all around him, which mercifully drove all thought of the words that had just been said from his mind, Mason made his way robotlike to the ink room to get a pot of ink for his press, as he did at the beginning of every shift. As he started to go through the narrow iron door set in the wall he nearly collided head on with tall blonde haired Richard Brockman, the one and ten dollar bill press operator, who gripped two large pots of ink in his thick-fingered hands. Mason looked up to Brockman, and respected him for being able to run two presses at once, full speed. Mason hoped to be able to do that someday; and the way he was going, he would make it. It was all about proving yourself. It was all about being best. He quickly stepped back from Brockman to avoid the collision.
“Woopssorry,” said Mason. “Almost ran into you.”
“That’s okay,” said Brockman, pausing momentarily. “What’s new? I saw you in talking to Pritchard before. Anything new with the two dollar bill press? She running all right?”
“Ohsure she’s running fine,” said Mason, looking around. “Say Brockman, I’ve got a question.” said Mason suddenly, surprising himself as the words slid out.
“What?” replied Brockman.
Mason spoke softly.
“Does anyone here get paid for overtime?”
Why was he asking, he thoughthe’d just been told the answer by Pritchardbut something in him said ask Brockman. See how he sees it. See what he thinks.
Brockman leaned his shoulder on the doorframe and held the ink pots at his hips.
“Why do you ask?” he said, narrow-eyed.
Mason looked away. He didn’t really know why he had asked he’d just been told that should have been good enough he felt foolish for asking, but damn, it just came out
“Well, since you askedI get paid overtime,” said Brockman. “My job’s dangerous. All those knives and swinging levers and spinning gearsplus the danger of running back and forth between two pressesI could slip and fall bad. I got to work on the run. They got to pay me. I’m worth every penny.”
Mason felt the bile rise in his throat and his stomach sicken hearing this. He pressed a hand to his stomach as the words kept coming out.
“Aren’t you salaried?”
“Oh, of course,” said Brockman. “We all are. So are you. We’re professionals. Saywhy are you asking all this?”
Mason’s stomach churned. He choked back the bile.
“Ohno reason. Just curious. Have a good day.”
“You too.”
Brockman walked off, ink pots rattling in his hands and Mason went into the darkened ink room and got his pots black, deep black, and green, and redand went out through the roaring that once more mercifully permitted no thought of what had just been said until he reached his two dollar bill machine. He poured the inks into the tanks and got up on his chair after nodding to Tillman that they were going to start and he pushed the buttons and pulled the levers to start the gnashing and roaring of the machine and the sound and vibration came up under him and held him up, surrounding him completely as a tight whirlwind; the face of Pritchard drifted before him, in the noise, mouthing the word professional, professional, and the twos poured out the front onto the cart and Mason really kept Tillman hopping with his Dolly and he churned his way through the day; the work, the breaks, the lunchand Mason made himself think of nothing but his earsplitting clashing and crashing machine until it was the end of the day, and time to go home to Edna.
Edna. He just knew Edna would say something; what to say to Edna
As he drove his seven year old Chevrolet toward home his mind switched gears and the conversation with Pritchard he’d had this morning ran through his mind and he forced it out by numbly gripping the wheel and concentrating on guiding the car through the surging traffic. When Mason came in the kitchen Edna stood at the counter carving great thick slabs of meat from a large hot slightly overdone roast beef. Mason went and pecked her on the cheek and said “Hello.”
“Hello Mason,” said Edna. “Roast beef tonight.”
“I know,” he said. “I can see that. It looks good. It smells good. You’re a great cook, Edna. Really great”
She suddenly waved the large carving knife and turned to face Mason. As she spoke she planted her other hand on her hip and leaned against the counter with her weight shifted over on one leg. She tilted her head back as she spoke.
“Did you ask your boss about the overtime we were talking about yesterday?” she said.
“Yes,” he said, his throat once more dry; he knew she would ask this; why does she have to ask this; he wanted all this talk to be over, he’s had enough of it for one day; he moved to wash his hands at the chipped white sink.
“And what did he say?”
The knife swung in her hand. Her eye pierced him. He looked away and swallowed hard in the suddenly roaring wall of quiet between them.
Open your mouth let what comes out come out
“He said I won’t get paid,” blurted Mason. “Said I’m a professional and professionals don’t get paid for overtime.” “What?” she said, half turning away and savagely plunging the knife into the roast, making him shudder. He put his hands up between them.
“It’s what I saidI have to work the overtime. And I won’t get paid. I talked to the bosshe said I’m a professional and professionals do what they have to do no matter how many hours it takes and don’t count nickels and dimes.”
Her head sharply tilted.
“What? That’s baloney Mason!” she shouted.
Her voice echoed to silence. The silence of the room cut through Mason. It was too quiet it was too too quiet and her eyes my God her eyes
She roughly pulled the knife from the roast and waved it at him again as she spoke fast.
“I can’t believe all those people that work in that big plant would put up with not getting paid overtime”
“Well, one doesn’t put up with it,” blurted Mason, raising a hand, but instantly sorry he’d said anything. The silence echoed around him again as she waved the knife before speaking, wide-eyed.
“What? Who doesn’t put up with it? Do you mean you’re not going to put up with itI hope that’s what you mean!”
Mason dried his hands with a striped dishtowel as he answered lightly.
“No, that’s not what I mean. It’s the guy who runs the tens and ones press. Says he gets paid for his overtime because its dangerous.”
She looked up at him, her face twisted into a mask.
“Well isn’t it just as dangerous for you?”
Mason turned the water back on and started washing his hands again.
“Mason. Why are you washing your hands again? Answer me- -isn’t your job just as dangerous?”
“Wait a minute,” he said. “Wait ‘till I wash my hands.”
The sound of the rushing water came up around him as if to shield him as Edna began speaking fast and loud from the echoing quiet of the room.
“I don’t understand, Masonyou say you’re told you can’t refuse overtime but then somebody tells you they refuse it all the timethen you’re told nobody gets paid overtime but then somebody tells you they dowhat kind of a damned place is that you work at? What kind of a damned place”
She waved her hands back and forth and over and under one another, still holding the knife, as she went on.
“none of it makes any sense Mason. Be a man! Stand up to that boss of yours and get a straight answer about all this.”
Mason dried his hands in a paper towel. Their eyes locked. Her eyes spoke to him. Her words cut through him.
Be a man, she said through her eyes.
He dried his hands harder. Their eyes remained locked. Now Tillman’s words drifted by in the silence between them.
I don’t work overtime if I don’t want to
Brockman’s words followed, low and smooth.
I get paid overtime because my job’s dangerousplus I run two presses at oncethat’s hard to do
Now Pritchard’s words coiled up through the quiet like tendrils of smoke from a cigarette in a stale still room.
nobody gets paid overtime here we’re all professionals
Pritchard’s pale face appeared over Edna’s.
and by the way don’t come back again if you don’t work Saturday and Sunday
Mason gulped.
don’t come back Monday or Tuesday or ever again
Mason swept a hand across erasing the vision of Pritchard’s ugly face and shut down all the words. His chest tightenedhe turned angry. Mason’s hands formed to fists and he squeezed the paper towel hard. The room reformed about him as he spoke. He felt real again.
He felt like a man.
“I’ll confront the boss with all this tomorrow,” Mason told Edna loudly. “You’re right Edna. Its wrong how I’m being treated. Everybody should be treated the same.”
“Well good,” she said.
“Be a man.”
She finished cooking and brought the food to the table and they ate the roast and small white potatoes and gravy and corn in the now calm silence of the room. Mason had nothing to say in his anger. Edna had said enough already. After dinner they watched TV in silence and went to bed. Mason lay there looking up into the roiling dark.
Be a man, she had said.
Tell Pritchard.
Don’t ask himtell him!
On the way to work next morning the trees and fields and houses and telephones flashed past Mason’s car to match his racing thoughts. He pictured himself standing before Pritchard, imagined himself telling him.
I can’t work the overtime, Mister Pritchard
And he imagined what Mister Pritchard would say.
All right Mason. I understand. That’s all right
A short squat water tower went by, abandoned.
Mason imagined himself saying it again.
I can’t work the overtime, Mister Pritchard
A great stand of rotting dead oaks passed by.
Then don’t come back again, said Pritchard, rising
Mason squeezed the steering wheel hard and pressed harder on the gas and the sound of the engine came up through the floorboards. He cut Pritchard off, out loud.
I told you Mister Pritchard. Can’t you hear? I’m not working the overtime, and even if I did, I should get paid! And I’m coming back Monday and Tuesday and all even if I don’t work the overtimebecause you’re wrong, Mister Pritchard. You’re dead wrong
What? What’s got into you Masonwhat do you mean
Pritchard turned in his swivel chair with a loud screeching squeak of the chair bearings. He slowly rose and began to talk but Mason now had reached the plant and quickly pulled the car into the parking lot and parked it fast and got out and went into the grey factory and once more made his way around the pounding chattering rocking and rolling machines to Pritchard’s office. Busy men hustled and bustled about him. But he passed through them.
Be a man, he thought, approaching the door.
He came up. He knocked on the doorframe.
Pritchard looked up from writing in a yellow pad.
“You again, Mason? What is it this time? I hope it’s not a problem with your press this time”
Mason once more leaned a hand on the doorframe.
“Mister Pritchard, I got to tell you straightI really can’t work this weekend. Edna’d been planning this visit to the shrine for weeks. I’ve got to take her. I have no choice.”
Pritchard leaned back in his chair and twined his long pale fingers together. His red lips writhed around his yellow teeth as he spoke.
“That’s too bad Mason,” he said. “I hate to lose you.”
Mason’s stomach hollowed once more. Again, he pressed his hand against it. He spoke as steadily as he could.
“What do you mean, you hate to lose me”
Pritchard rose. He seemed taller than usual.
“Step in here, Mason. Come on in. Close the door.”
Mason entered and closed the door behind him. The tall glass walls filtered out the din of the machines outside. Pritchard tossed his head and pointed into Mason’s chest and spoke.
“You know Mason, I mean what I said before, You don’t work the weekend, you don’t come back again. Ever. It’s company policy. Overtime is mandatory. Everybody’s told that coming inI know you must have been told that coming in”
Edna’s hand came up behind pushing gently against Mason’s back. He took one step toward Pritchard and raised a hand.
“But I wasn’t told that. And you don’t force Tillman to work overtime.”
The concrete floor pressed to the soles of his feet. His feet suddenly ached. Pritchard grimaced and his eyes flashed.
“Who told you that?” he snapped.
“Tillman told me that.”
Pritchard raised a hand, rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, and then lowered them firmly into Mason’s.
“Oh God, Tillman. Listenbetween you and I, Mason, pushing a cart’s all Tillman’s good for. Anybody can push one of those carts. We don’t need people to push carts on overtime. I’ll push the damned thing myself on overtime if I have to. But we need you on that two dollar bill machine, Mason. It isn’t just anybody knows how to run that one. That’s a tough machine to run. You should be proud of yourself. I’ve watched you. You’re a master.”
Pritchard paused, stepped forward, and put his hand on Mason’s shoulder. He set his eye firmly into Mason’s. His strong sour breath enveloped Mason’s head as he spoke.
“Yes, you’re damned good at running that machine,” said Pritchard. “Damned good. We need you. That’s the difference between Tillman and you. We need you. We need you and I can’t let you let us down.”
Pritchard’s hand flexed on Mason’s shoulder and his eyes bored deeply into Mason but Edna’s hand was still pressing from behind and pressed forward once more and Mason spoke.
“Brockman gets paid for his overtime,” Mister Pritchard.
Pritchard’s eyebrows rose and his face turned blank and he spoke calmly.
“Oh? And who told you that, boy?”
The hand flexed on Mason’s shoulder, digging in.
“Brockman told me,” said Mason.
Pritchard’s hand came off Mason’s shoulder and he stepped to the side of the office and raised his stubbly head and looked out over the rows of tall green machines, churning out piles and piles of bills, and he spoke softly to Mason.
“Have you looked close at Brockman’s hand, Mason?”
“No. Why?”
Pritchard turned back to Mason with his hands on his hips.
“He’s missing three fingers. Lost them on the dollar machine, out there. Out there where you work. He had the nerve to sue us, but we couldn’t stop him. He had a good lawyer. Part of his settlement was he gets overtime pay from now on. He didn’t tell you that part, did he Mason? He didn’t show you his hands, did he? Did he?”
Pritchard stared open-mouthed into Mason’s eyes.
“No, he didn’t.”
Pritchard tossed his head toward Mason. His great brown watery blank eyes caught the light.
“Would you like to have three fingers missing Mason?”
“No.”
“Aren’t you glad you’ve got all your fingers, Mason? Aren’t you glad you’re whole? You should be thankful you’re whole and healthy. That’s what you ought to be thinking about. Not this nonsense about a little overtime.”
Edna’s hand pushed Mason once more.
“But I can’t work the overtime”
Pritchard turned fully toward Mason and pointed.
“Oh cut that out Mason! Be thankful that you’re whole and healthy and not a dimwit like Tillman or a cripple like Brockman. Be thankful your biggest problem is you’ve got to work a weekend’s overtime. Nowgo on out there and push that press hard! Show us what you can do! And we’ll see you in here Saturday and Sunday. You’re a damned good man Mason. Damned good. I’ve had my eye on you Mason. I don’t want to lose you. And I won’t lose you!”
Edna’s hand had melted away in the storm of words from Pritchard and the office door opened and Mason was blown backward out of the office and he stepped away without answering Pritchard, and he went to the ink room and got his inks and made his way toward the two dollar bill machine, went past Brockman’s machines and tried not to look at Brockman’s hand, went past Tillman without even saying hello, poured the inks into the tanks, climbed into his chair, and started the press up. Violently he pressed the buttons.
You’re a good man Mason, had said Pritchard. A damned good man
The grinding and whirring and clashing of the steel parts deep inside the machine whirled about him as a whirlwind, and the sighing and slamming of the press he sat proudly upon formed a thick circle of earsplitting noise through which only a few words penetrated, a few very important words, repeating themselves with each surge of noise and vibration up through Mason’s steel seat, and up through his spine to his brain where he heard them.
we don’t want to lose you Mason
we don’t want to lose you
The machine roared through another day. Breaks and lunch came and went; his ears rang and his body vibrated through each break and lunch echoing the important words.
We don’t want to lose you
And four more words added in
You should be thankful
And six more
you should be thankful you’re whole
The two dollar bill machine’s raging din carried Mason to the end of the day and he drove slowly home to Edna, idly counting the poles passing by to pass the time, something that he had always done in the car when nervous, to keep the words from continuing to repeat through his mind. The poles went by in a soothing rhythm.
one hundred one
one hundred two
one hundred three
He pulled the car slowly into the loose gravel driveway and got out and went under the spreading oak tree that had been there since long before there were ever two dollar bill machines, and would be there long after, and up into the house into the kitchen. Edna stood boiling a tall pot of egg noodles. A canned ham sat heating in the oven. A good meal; one of Mason’s favorites. Mason came in and pecked her on the cheek and stepped over to the cracked sink once more to wash his hands, and she asked him right out, with no hesitation, what had been on her mind all day. She didn’t want her man screwed; she wanted him to stand up, be a man, as her Father and Grandfather always had..
“Well? Did you tell them?”
He turned off the water and got down a paper towel. He turned to her and spoke softly.
“Yes, I did.”
She put down the stirring spoon, crossed her arms, and faced him. His tone told her there was still a problem.
“Well?” she said. “What did they say?”
He went and scraped a kitchen chair away from the table and sat down leaning his head on his hands. “I’m thankful,” he said.
“WhatI asked you what did they say”
He spoke abruptly, loudly.
“I’m thankful! And that’s all I’ve got to say.”
She planted a hand on her hip.
“What do you mean you’re thankful? What are you thankful about? Did you tell them you expect to get paid the overtime did you tell them you expect not to be forced to work the weekend did you tell them did you tell them did you”
Once more he felt her hand pressing into his back urging him to have said the right thing, to say the right thing, to do the right thing, but Pritchard’s spidery hand was there too, pressing into his chest, pushing the other way, also urging him to have said the right thing, to do the right thingbut the two things clashed and contradicted one another and the hands pressed hard and into him and met together, palm to palm, near his heart. All of the words tangled into a hard knot there, and suddenly he knew
they both loved him!
So it didn’t matter what he said or didthey both loved him and he would move forward for both of them, moving from day to day as he’d been doing, and the kitchen chair became the steel seat on the side of the two dollar bill machine and the kitchen contained the fierce clashing din of the machine as he sat, pressing buttons and pulling levers, the bills smoothly coming out of the front of the machine and out across the kitchen table, keeping Tillman hopping with Pritchard and Edna looking on, both right, both smiling, both so proud of him watching the noise and vibration lift him high, higher, finally raising him into the timeless silence far above the clash and crash of all the meaningless words and the sights and sounds and smells of the kitchen and whatever he’d do or not do this weekend or the next or the next and Mason loved just one thing in that endless instant; his wonderful, towering, roaring two dollar bill machine.
|
One Small Choice, art by Aaron Wilder
Amber Beads
Janet Kuypers
1989
As the flames engulfed
my worldly possessions
my everything
seemed to disappear.
But I did not cry
for the loss of the money -
I cried for the
photographs,
and the poems, and the amber beads.
I love you, mother,
and I love the mother
who died while I
rested in your womb.
Sandy tells me stories
of visiting Grandma
and eating pickles.
And I remember
every spring,
every Mother’s Day,
you would diligently
plant flowers
around the
Bakutis name.
I have learned
to love her
without ever seeing
her face.
Joseph tells me
that I seem like
my mother
and I only pray to God
that he’s right.
For then my existence
would keep the love
and the caring alive
in a kind of living
that no strike of a match
that no burning building
that no mere mortal
could destroy.
|
|
Order this iTunes track
from the poetry audio CD
Hope Chest In The Attic
13 Years of Poetry & Prose ...Or order
the entire CD set from iTunes:
|
Watch the YouTube video
(2:29) 02/26/08
Live at the Café in Chicago
|
Watch this YouTube video
12/04/10 from the TV camera in Lake Villa at Swing State, live in her show the Stories of Women
|
Watch this YouTube video
12/04/10 in Lake Villa at Swing State, live in her “Visual Nonsense” show the Stories of Women
|
See Kuypers’ full show video
with this & more from the TV monitor in the the Stories of Women show, in Visual Nonsense, live in Lake Villa 12/04/10 at Swing State
|
See the full show video of Kuypers reading this & more in the the Stories of Women show in in Visual Nonsense, live in Lake Villa 12/04/10 with this writing at Swing State (last line of last story cut off)
|
Order this track off the CD The Stories of Women (which is now available for sale through amazon.com)
|
Or watch the YouTube video
Live at My Soul in the Trunk of my Car at Trunk Fest (part 2), in an outdoor Evanston IL feature 05/28/11
|
See the YouTube full video of My Soul in the Trunk of my Car (part 2) at Trunk Fest, live 05/28/11, w/ this writing
|
Download the chapbook with this writing in My Soul in the Trunk of my Car (part 2) |
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Driving By His House from the collection book Exaro Versus live 9/25/13 at the open mic the Café Gallery in Chicago (Samsung)
|
See YouTube video from 5/3/17 of Janet Kuypers’ May 2017 Book Release Reading at Half Price Books, where she said her haiku “uphill” then read her prose “Driving by his House” in “Hands that Hurt”, then her poems “Medication” and “Empty Chocolate Counter” in “Things Found in Books” (this video filmed from a Sony camera).
|
See YouTube video from 5/3/17 of Janet Kuypers’ May 2017 Book Release Reading at Half Price Books, where she said her haiku “uphill” then read her prose “Driving by his House” in “Hands that Hurt”, then her poems “Medication” and “Empty Chocolate Counter” in “Things Found in Books” (this video filmed from a Lumix camera).
|
|
|
Driving By His House
Janet Kuypers
summer 1992
I know it’s pretty pathetic of me, I don’t know what I’m trying to prove. I don’t even want to see him again. I don’t want to have to think about him, I don’t want to think about his big eyebrows or the fact that he hunched over a little when he walked or that he hurt me so much.
I know it’s pretty pathetic of me, but sometimes when I’m driving I’ll take a little detour and drive by his house. I’ll just drive by, I won’t slow down, I won’t stop by, I won’t say hello, I won’t beat his head in, I won’t even cry. I’ll just drive by, see a few cars in the driveway, see no signs of life through the windows, and then I’ll just keep driving.
I don’t know why I do it. He never sees me, and I never see him, although I thought I didn’t want to see him anyway. When I first met him I wasn’t afraid of him. Now I’m so afraid that I have to drive by his house every once in a while, just to remind myself of the fear. We all like the taste of fear, you know, the thought that there’s something out there stronger than us. The thought that there’s something out there we can beat, even if we have to fight to the death.
But that can’t be it, no, it just can’t be, I don’t like this fear, I don’t like it. I don’t want to drive by, I want to be able to just go on with my life, to not think about it. I want to be strong again. I want to be strong.
So today I did it again, I haven’t done it for a while, drive by his house, but I did it again today. When I turned on to his street I put on my sunglasses so that in case he saw me he couldn’t tell that I was looking. And then I picked up my car phone and acted like I was talking to someone.
And I drove by, holding my car phone, talking to my imaginary friend, trying to unobviously glance at the house on my left. There’s a lamppost at the end of his driveway. I always noticed it, the lampshade was a huge glass ball, I always thought it was ugly. This time three cars were there. One of those could have been his. Through the front window, no people, no lights. I drive around a corner, take a turn and get back on the road I was supposed to be on.
One day, when I’m driving by and I get that feeling again, that feeling like death, well then, I just might do it again.
|
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ “December 2017 Book Release Reading” 12/6/17, where she reads from the book “Negative Space” her haiku and short poems “coincidence?”, “translation (2014 haiku)”, “oceans”, “behind”, “out there”, “opposite”, and “addiction”, her micro prose “Driving By His House”, and her poems “Earth was Crying”, “Your Imaginary Soul Weighs 21 Grams”, “Just by Holding His Hand”, and “Only an Observer” in “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” (Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ “December 2017 Book Release Reading” 12/6/17, where she reads from the book “Negative Space” her haiku and short poems “coincidence?”, “translation (2014 haiku)”, “oceans”, “behind”, “out there”, “opposite”, and “addiction”, her micro prose “Driving By His House”, and her poems “Earth was Crying”, “Your Imaginary Soul Weighs 21 Grams”, “Just by Holding His Hand”, and “Only an Observer” in “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” (Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 4/4/18 “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” Austin feature reading, reading from the cc&d September-December 2017 issue collection book “Language of Untamed Spirit” her poem “Zenith of the Night Sky”, her haiku “eminence”, her short prose “Driving by His House”, and her poem “erasure poem: a Poetic History” at the only “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” event, which she hosted in National Poetry Month (Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 4/4/18 “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” Austin feature reading, reading from the cc&d September-December 2017 issue collection book “Language of Untamed Spirit” her poem “Zenith of the Night Sky”, her haiku “eminence”, her short prose “Driving by His House”, and her poem “erasure poem: a Poetic History” at the only “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” event, which she hosted during National Poetry Month (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera and given an Edge Detection filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 4/4/18 “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” Austin feature reading, reading from the cc&d September-December 2017 issue collection book “Language of Untamed Spirit” her poem “Zenith of the Night Sky”, her haiku “eminence”, her short prose “Driving by His House”, and her poem “erasure poem: a Poetic History” at the only “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” event, which she hosted during National Poetry Month (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera and given a Posterize filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 4/4/18 “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” Austin feature reading, reading from the cc&d September-December 2017 issue collection book “Language of Untamed Spirit” her poem “Zenith of the Night Sky”, her haiku “eminence”, her short prose “Driving by His House”, and her poem “erasure poem: a Poetic History” at the only “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” event, which she hosted during National Poetry Month (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera and given a Threshold filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Gary’s Blind Date” from her “a Woman on the Beach” show, “Being God” from her “Lake County Poetry Bomb” show, and then her poem “Keep Driving” and her prose “Driving by His House” from her “My Soul in the Trunk of my Car” Evanston show, all from her book “Chapter 48 (v 1)” 12/15/18 @ “Recycled Reads” (Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Gary’s Blind Date” from her “a Woman on the Beach” show, “Being God” from her “Lake County Poetry Bomb” show, and then her poem “Keep Driving” and her prose “Driving by His House” from her “My Soul in the Trunk of my Car” Evanston show, all from her book “Chapter 48 (v 1)” 12/15/18 @ “Recycled Reads” (Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
|
Andrew Hettinger
Janet Kuypers
Autumn 1997
I never really liked you. You never revealed
yourself to me and why would you: you,
who never had anyone, you, who always
had the bad breaks. Everyone looked at you
as different. Where would you have learned
to trust. Who would you have learned it from.
I never really liked you. I met you through
a friend and he explained to me that multiple
sclerosis left you with a slight limp and a
faint lisp. Faint, under the surface, but there,
traces of something no one would ever
know of you well enough to fully understand.
I never really liked you. You never revealed
yourself to me and I never wanted you to;
you scared me too much. You, plagued with
physical ailments. You, with a limp in your walk.
You, with a patch over your eye. You, who
stared at me for always just a bit too long.
They told me the patch was from eye surgery
with complications and now you had to cover
your shame, cover someone else’s mistakes,
cover a wrong you didn’t commit, cover a
problem not of your own doing. The problems
were never of your own doing, were they.
I heard these stories and I thought it was sad.
I heard these stories and thought you had to be
a pillar of strength. And then I saw you drink,
straight from the bottle, fifteen-year-old
chianti. And I saw you smash your hand into
your living room wall. This is how you lived.
The house you lived in was littered with
trash. Why bother to clean it up anyway. It
detracted you from the holes in the wall, the
broken furniture from drunken fits. This was
how you reacted to life, to the world. You didn’t
know any better. This is how you coped.
I never really liked you. You would come home
from work, tell us about a woman who was
beautiful and smart that liked you, but she
wasn’t quite smart enough. And I thought: We
believe anything if we tell ourselves enough.
We weave these fantasies to get through the days.
I never really liked you. Every time you talked
to me you always leaned a little too close. So
I stayed away from the house, noted that those
whom you called friends did the same. I asked
my friend why he bothered to stay in touch.
And he said to me, “But he has no friends.”
This is how I thought of you. A man who was
dealt a bad hand. A man who couldn’t fight
the demons that were handed to him. And
with that I put you out of my mind, relegated
you to the ranks of the inconsequential. We parted
ways. You were reduced to a sliver of my youth.
I received a letter recently, a letter from
someone who knew you, someone who wanted
me to tell my friend that they read in the
newspaper that you hanged yourself. Your
brother died in an electrical accident, and
after the funeral you went to the train
station; instead of leaving this town you
went to a small room and left us forever.
Strangers had to find you. The police had to
search through records to identify your body.
The newspaper described you as having “health
problems.” But you knew it was more than that.
And I was asked to be the messenger to my
friend. The funeral had already passed. You were
already in the ground. There was no way he
could say goodbye. I shouldn’t have been the one
to tell him this. No one deserved to tell him.
He was the only one who tried to care.
I never really liked you. No one did. But when
I had to tell my friend, I knew his pain.
I knew he wanted to be better. I knew he
thought you were too young to die. I knew he
felt guilty for not calling you. He knew it
shouldn’t have been this way. We all knew it.
I never really liked you. But now I can’t get
you out of my mind; you haunt me for all the
people we’ve forgotten in our lives. I don’t like
what you’ve done. I don’t like you quitting.
I don’t like you dying, not giving us the chance
to love you, or hate you, or even ignore you more.
My friend still doesn’t know where your grave is.
I’d like to find it for him, and take him to you.
Let you know you did have a friend out there.
Bring you a drink, maybe, a fitting nightcap
to mark your departure, to commemorate a life
filled with liquor, violence, pain and death.
I never really liked you, but maybe we could get
together in some old cemetery, sit on your grave
stone, share a drink with the dead, laugh at the
injustices of life when we’re surrounded by death.
Maybe then we’d understand your pain for one brief
moment, and remember the moments we’ll always regret.
|
Listen to this radio recording from WZRD Radio,
or order this or any track any time online from amazon in the 2 CD set
“Scars Presents WZRD Radio”.
|
Order this iTunes track:
from Chaos in Motion
(a 6 CD set)...Or order the entire CD set from iTunes
CD:
|
Listen to the CD recording
of this, from the CD Change/Rearrange
|
Order this iTunes track
from the poetry audio CD
“Oh.” audio CD ...Or order
the entire CD set from iTunes:
|
Order this iTunes track:
from the Chaotic Collection
...Or order the entire 5 CD set from iTunes:
CD:
|
Listen to this track from the CD Rough Mixes with music by Pointless Orchestra, or get this track - or any track from amazon, off the CD Rough Mixes.
|
Listen to this w/ the DMJ Art Connection
Listen to & download
this track from the DMJ Art Connection
|
Listen live to the 2nd Axing
at the open mic Sing Your Life
|
Watch this YouTube video
(6:55) at the live Jesse Oaks live “UNcorrect” feature 06/21/07
|
Watch the YouTube video
(6:18) 02/26/08 live, the Cafe, Chicago
|
Listen: (8:46)
to this recording from Fusion
And order this track, or ANY track, off the cd Fusion available at iTunes.
|
Listen to the live reading
from the Side A/Side B feature 12/09/03
|
See YouTube video
Live at St. Mary’s Cemetery (at his gravesite) in Champaign IL 05/27/11
|
See YouTube video 9/24/16 of Janet Kuypers saying her poem “Ever Get It Back” in conversation, then reading her poems “Earth was Crying” and “Andrew Hettinger”, then she sang her song “Why” live in downtown Austin’s one-time only reading at Brave New Books (from a Canon Power Shot camera).
|
See YouTube video 9/24/16 of Janet Kuypers saying her poem “Ever Get It Back” in conversation, then reading her poems “Earth was Crying” and “Andrew Hettinger”, then she sang her song “Why” live in downtown Austin’s one-time only reading at Brave New Books (filmed from a Sony camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ August 2018 Book Release Reading 8/1/18, where she read interview portions and her prose poem “Scars”, then interview portions and her poem “Children, Churches and Daddies”, then interview portions and her poem “Andrew Hettinger”, leading to her poem “And I’m Wondering” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ August 2018 Book Release Reading 8/1/18, where she read interview portions and her prose poem “Scars”, then interview portions and her poem “Children, Churches and Daddies”, then interview portions and her poem “Andrew Hettinger”, leading to her poem “And I’m Wondering” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (video from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera, with a Posterize filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ August 2018 Book Release Reading 8/1/18, where she read interview portions and her prose poem “Scars”, then interview portions and her poem “Children, Churches and Daddies”, then interview portions and her poem “Andrew Hettinger”, leading to her poem “And I’m Wondering” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ August 2018 Book Release Reading 8/1/18, where she read interview portions and her prose poem “Scars”, then interview portions and her poem “Children, Churches and Daddies”, then interview portions and her poem “Andrew Hettinger”, leading to her poem “And I’m Wondering” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (video from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera, with a Sepia tone filter).
|
|
Death
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1994
when he was a child, a little boy, he
would walk through the living room
over and over again
he would see the book on the shelf
a science book, a volume
from a set: a book about
how the world works
once he looked though the pages
found a drawing about the life
of planet earth, how it was
formed, how eventually the
temperature would rise, all life
on earth would eventually die
and reading that it was
millions of years away didn’t help
with the fear, the instant panic:
so he took the book, hid the
one volume from the rest,
so he wouldn’t have to see it
when he walked through his
own living room
|
Watch the YouTube video
(1:19) 02/26/08, live at the Cafe in Chicago
|
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Death (from the book Finally, Literature for the Snotty and Elite) in Chicago 11/24/13 (C) at her feature Book Expo 2013 Chicago
|
Watch this YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Death (from the book Finally, Literature for the Snotty and Elite) in Chicago 11/24/13 (posterize filter) at her feature Book Expo 2013 Chicago
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Death” and “Signs of the Times” (2 poems read for the future Oeuvre audio CD release) and “Utopia Never Happened” at Austin’s Recycled Reads 7/15/17 (this video was filmed from a Sony camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Death” and “Signs of the Times” (2 poems read for the future Oeuvre audio CD release) and “Utopia Never Happened” at Austin’s Recycled Reads 7/15/17 (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ October 2018 Book Release Reading 10/3/18, where she read her poems “Cast in Stone”, “Death”, “Children, Churches and Daddies”, and “Russians at a Garage Sale” from her “Book Expo 2013 Chicago” reading 11/24/13, then her haiku poems “enemies”, “faith”, “ants and crosses”, “census”, “easy”, “existence”, “falling”, and “eventually”, from her “Unlucky 13 on St. Patrick’s Day” reading 3/17/14 , all appearing in her poetry performance art collection book “Chapter 48 (v 2)”, in Community Poetry at Half Price Books (this video was recorded from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ October 2018 Book Release Reading 10/3/18, where she read her poems “Cast in Stone”, “Death”, “Children, Churches and Daddies”, and “Russians at a Garage Sale” from her “Book Expo 2013 Chicago” reading 11/24/13, then her haiku poems “enemies”, “faith”, “ants and crosses”, “census”, “easy”, “existence”, “falling”, and “eventually”, from her “Unlucky 13 on St. Patrick’s Day” reading 3/17/14 , all appearing in her poetry performance art collection book “Chapter 48 (v 2)”, in Community Poetry at Half Price Books (this video was recorded from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
|
Anything for the Liquor Fix
Janet Kuypers
Spring 2005
Weve known people
liked to have a bottle of wine
with friends in the evenings,
and weve known people
who liked to go out for beers
almost every night of the week.
Weve even known men in
Illinois, where its illegal
to have open containers of
alcohol in the car with them,
who would leave a case of
cheap beer at the passenger-
side floor, so they could have
a can of Milwaukees Best
while driving, and then toss
the crushed can on the flloor
so they could throw it away
when they got around to it.
And weve known these people
to want to save money
on their wine, on their beer,
on their hard liquors, so they
would but the cheapest liquor
they could. We had even heard
of a fad in Finland where teen girls
soak their tampons in vodka,
because the alcohol is absorbed
into their system for intoxication
without them drinking. Can you
imaging teenage girls in Finland,
getting drunk while in school?
But the most drastic news story
came to us when we read of a
young Canadian man, wanting
to get drunk with no money,
decided to mix gasoline with milk.
This combination made him sick,
where he then vomited. However,
it appears that this milk-and-gas
drink must have intoxicated him
enough to not let him realize
that he shouldnt have vomited
into his fireplace in his house.
The resulting explosion from his
vomit and his fireplace fire
burned his house down,
killing both him and his sister.
|
|
Chess Game Again
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1995
we all watched the case on the news
together, the case where a man on a
subway train opened fire on passengers
in the car. nine people dead, i think.
they caught the man, they had their
trial, and by right he could have a lawyer
appointed to him. but no, he wanted
to act as his own attorney. so every
day he would come into the courtroom
in his suit, looking professional, and
he would question each of the witnesses,
the people that survived his shooting
spree and now had to look him in the
eye and answer his questions. “so what
happened then?” he would ask, and a
woman would answer, “i saw you push
the woman to the ground, put your knee
to her back and shoot her in the back
of the head.” “can you point out the
man that did this?” he would ask, and
a man would respond, “it was you.” some
of the witnesses broke down under the
emotional strain. and finally he had no
further questions and the judge dismissed
the jury to arrive at a verdict. they found
him guilty, and when the judge asked the
defendant if he had any last words for
the jury, he kept stressing his innocence,
and never apologized. the judge told him
he was disgusted. he saw no remorse in
the killer’s eyes. and of all the violence
we see in the media, all the court trials
that are fed to us through our television
sets, our boxes of american dreams, i
don’t think any of us were prepared for
this. how did those people feel, when
faced with the man that has brought them
so much pain, how did they feel when they
had to quietly sit there and answer his
questions, when he didn’t even say he was
sorry? most of them sat there trying to
keep their composure when faced with a
man who lost all control. this twisted tale.
they were a pawn in his chess game again.
|
Listen to this poem read Live at the Cafe, or order ANY track off the 3-CD set “Live at the Cafe” through iTunes.
|
Watch the YouTube video
(2:49) 02/26/08
Live at the Cafe in Chicago
|
Watch this YouTube video
of Kuypers reading poetry 02/28/08
|
Watch the YouTube video
06/07/11 at the Café in Chicago (from her book Close Cover Before Striking)
|
See feature-length YouTube
video (21:47) of Kuypers reading her poems My First Time, Chicago West Side, Chess Game Again, Arrowhead, Realistic Dreams, Was Immune, To Be Different, Sunrise, Meant To Be, New Vacuum Cleaner and Skittery live 06/07/11 at the Café
|
Watch this YouTube video
of the intro to the 06/07/11 open mic at the Café in Chicago, plus 2 new poems, & Close Cover Before Striking poems
|
Listen: (2:38) to this recording from Fusion, or order ANY track off the 2-CD set “Fusion” through iTunes. |
|
Children, Churches, and Daddies
Janet Kuypers
spring 1993
And the little girl said to me,
“I thought only daddies drank
beer.” And I found myself
trying to make excuses for the can
in my hand. I remember being
in the church, a guest at a
wedding of two people
I didn’t know. My date pointed
out two little boys
walking to their seats in
front of us. In little suits and
cowboy boots, this is what
is central Illinois. And my date
said he was sure those boys
would grow up to be gay. And
the worst part was their father
was the coach of the high school
football team. I think I
laughed, but I hesitated.
I remember being in the
church, it was Christmas
Eve, my date’s family went up
for communion, and all I could think
was that singing the hymns was
hard enough, I don’t know the
words, what am I doing here,
what am I supposed to do? And I
stayed seated, and everyone else
slowly walked to the front of the
church. Little soldiers in a
little line, the little children
in their little dresses walking
behind their mommies and
daddies. And the little girl
said, “I thought only daddies
drank beer.” And I found myself
trying to make excuses.
|
Order this iTunes track from the collection poetry music CD
the Final ...Or order the entire CD from iTunes:
|
Order this iTunes track
from the poetry audio CD
Hope Chest In The Attic
13 Years of Poetry & Prose ...Or order
the entire CD set from iTunes:
|
Order this iTunes track:
in two locations:
from the Chaotic Collection
...Or order the entire 5 CD set from iTunes:
CD:
|
Watch the YouTube video
(1:48) live 08/05/07 at Beach poets
|
Watch the YouTube video
(2:00) 02/26/08, Live at the Cafe in Chicago
|
Watch this YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading this poem 5/18/13
“Children, Churches and Daddies” in Nashville TN after her Tag Team feature reading
|
Watch this YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading “Scars” and “Children, Churches and Daddies” in Nashville TN 5/18/13 after the Tag Team feature reading
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Children, Churches and Daddies (in books Life on the Edge, or It All Comes Down, or Hope Chest in the Attic, or Oeuvre, or Janet and Jean Together) in Chicago 11/24/13 (C) at her feature Book Expo 2013 Chicago
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Children, Churches and Daddies (in books Life on the Edge, or It All Comes Down, or Hope Chest in the Attic, or Oeuvre, or Janet and Jean Together) in Chicago 11/24/13 (posterized) at her feature Book Expo 2013 Chicago
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Children, Churches and Daddies (in the chapbook “Attacking with Poetry”) 4/27/14 (C) at Chicago’s 2014 Poetry Bomb (in Lincoln Square)
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Children, Churches and Daddies (in the chapbook “Attacking with Poetry”) 4/27/14 (C) at Chicago’s 2014 Poetry Bomb (in Lincoln Square), Threshold
|
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading 3 poems, Too Far, the Burning and Children, Churches and Daddies 9/16/15 at In One Ear open mic in Chicago (Cfs)
|
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading 3 poems, Too Far, the Burning and Children, Churches and Daddies 9/16/15 at In One Ear open mic in Chicago (Cps)
|
|
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Children, Churches and Daddies 10/6/15 at Quenchers open mic in Chicago (Cfs)
|
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Children, Churches and Daddies 10/6/15 at Quenchers open mic in Chicago (Cps)
|
See YouTube video (Cfs)
of Janet Kuypers reading 5 poems: Once Wanted You as my Friend, Escaping Every Cage, and a Scars medley (based on parts of the prose poem Scars and the poems Scars 1997 and Scars 2000, then Too Far and Children, Churches and Daddies 10/6/15 at Quenchers open mic in Chicago
|
See YouTube video (Cps)
of Janet Kuypers reading 5 poems: Once Wanted You as my Friend, Escaping Every Cage, and a Scars medley (based on parts of the prose poem Scars and the poems Scars 1997 and Scars 2000, then Too Far and Children, Churches and Daddies 10/6/15 at Quenchers open mic in Chicago
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ August 2018 Book Release Reading 8/1/18, where she read interview portions and her prose poem “Scars”, then interview portions and her poem “Children, Churches and Daddies”, then interview portions and her poem “Andrew Hettinger”, leading to her poem “And I’m Wondering” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ August 2018 Book Release Reading 8/1/18, where she read interview portions and her prose poem “Scars”, then interview portions and her poem “Children, Churches and Daddies”, then interview portions and her poem “Andrew Hettinger”, leading to her poem “And I’m Wondering” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (video from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera, with a Posterize filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ August 2018 Book Release Reading 8/1/18, where she read interview portions and her prose poem “Scars”, then interview portions and her poem “Children, Churches and Daddies”, then interview portions and her poem “Andrew Hettinger”, leading to her poem “And I’m Wondering” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ August 2018 Book Release Reading 8/1/18, where she read interview portions and her prose poem “Scars”, then interview portions and her poem “Children, Churches and Daddies”, then interview portions and her poem “Andrew Hettinger”, leading to her poem “And I’m Wondering” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (video from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera, with a Sepia tone filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ October 2018 Book Release Reading 10/3/18, where she read her poems “Cast in Stone”, “Death”, “Children, Churches and Daddies”, and “Russians at a Garage Sale” from her “Book Expo 2013 Chicago” reading 11/24/13, then her haiku poems “enemies”, “faith”, “ants and crosses”, “census”, “easy”, “existence”, “falling”, and “eventually”, from her “Unlucky 13 on St. Patrick’s Day” reading 3/17/14 , all appearing in her poetry performance art collection book “Chapter 48 (v 2)”, in Community Poetry at Half Price Books (this video was recorded from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ October 2018 Book Release Reading 10/3/18, where she read her poems “Cast in Stone”, “Death”, “Children, Churches and Daddies”, and “Russians at a Garage Sale” from her “Book Expo 2013 Chicago” reading 11/24/13, then her haiku poems “enemies”, “faith”, “ants and crosses”, “census”, “easy”, “existence”, “falling”, and “eventually”, from her “Unlucky 13 on St. Patrick’s Day” reading 3/17/14 , all appearing in her poetry performance art collection book “Chapter 48 (v 2)”, in Community Poetry at Half Price Books (this video was recorded from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
|
Gift of Motherhood (part one)
Janet Kuypers
1997
We need only think of how the gift of motherhood
is often penalized rather than rewarded
even though humanity owes its very survival to this gift
Certainly, much remains to be done
to prevent discrimination against those
who have chosen to be wives and mothers
Letter to Women, Message of His Holiness POPE JOHN PAUL II, July 10
“he started in on me again last night,
he had too much to drink, and came home,
drunk, and started yelling at me. he
got home at ten-thirty but wanted to know
why his dinner wasn’t warm. and he wanted
to wake up the kids and play with them,
but i told him it was a school night and
they needed a full night’s rest. i swear,
i can’t tell anyone else this, i have to
keep telling everyone i fell down the
stairs and i burned myself when i was
cooking dinner and i tripped over one of
the kids’ toys or a vase from the book-
shelf i was cleaning fell and hit me in
the face. i’ve come up with a lot of
excuses, i know. but what would the kids
do if i lost him? how could i work and take
care of them? how would they be able to
go to college? i know i keep making up
excuses, but i have to. for the kids.”
|
Watch the YouTube video
(1:50) 03/16/08 live, WordSlingers feature, WLUW Chicago radio 88.9FM
|
Watch this YouTube video
live at the Café in Chicago 03/30/10
|
Watch the YouTube video
of the open mic intro at the Café in Chicago 03/30/10 & the poems More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, and Hiding Vices
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2 (with the “line drawing” filter)
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2 (with the “solarize” filter)
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2 (with a metallic filter)
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2
|
|
Thank You, Women who Work I
Janet Kuypers
5/6&$#047;97
Thank you, women who work
In this way you make
an indispensable contribution
to the growth of a culture
which unites reason and feeling,
to a model of life ever open
to the sense of “mystery”
Letter to Women, Message of His Holiness POPE JOHN PAUL II, July 10
Thank you, women who work
because you take on the responsibilities of men
while still having to be mothers, wives
good little daughters a feminine creatures
Thank you, women who work
because you are the ones we can blame
when the family falls apart
Thank you, women who work
because you make a point to do more
than your fair share
even though
no man would do the same for you
Thank you, women who work
for you know you have to prove yourselves
over and over and over again
and that it still isn’t enough, so
keep up the good work,
ladies
|
Watch the YouTube video
(1:21) 03/16/08 Live, WordSlingers feature, WLUW Chicago radio 88.9FM
|
Watch this YouTube video
live at the Café in Chicago 03/30/10
|
Watch the YouTube video
of the open mic intro at the Café in Chicago 03/30/10 & the poems More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, and Hiding Vices
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2 (with the “line drawing” filter)
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2 (with the “solarize” filter)
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2 (with a metallic filter)
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2
|
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Thank You, Women Who Work 1 live 1/6/16 at Rad Radam Open Stage in Austin TX (Nikon Cool Pix S7000).
|
See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Thank You, Women Who Work 1 live 1/6/16 at Rad Radam Open Stage in Austin TX (Canon Power Shot).
|
See YouTube video 5/13/16 of Janet Kuypers reading her 3 poems Lambs To Heaven’s Gate, Why I Didn’t See God and thank you, women who work one, plus her bonus reading of the Ai poem The Good Shepherd at Georgetown’s Poetry Plus open mic at Cianfrani’s (from a Canon Power Shot camera).
|
See YouTube video 5/13/16 of Janet Kuypers reading her 3 poems Lambs To Heaven’s Gate, Why I Didn’t See God and thank you, women who work one, plus her bonus reading of the Ai poem The Good Shepherd at Georgetown’s Poetry Plus open mic at Cianfrani’s in Texas (from a Sony camera).
|
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Right There, By Your Heart (verses 2 & 6)”, “Confident Women” and “Thank You, Women Who Work I” from her book “Rape, Sexism Life & Death” 10/21/17 at “Recycled Reads” open mic (Panasonic Lumix camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Right There, By Your Heart (verses 2 & 6)”, “Confident Women” and “Thank You, Women Who Work I” from her book “Rape, Sexism Life & Death” 10/21/17 at “Recycled Reads” open mic (Lumix camera; Sepia Tone filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Right There, By Your Heart (verses 2 & 6)”, “Confident Women” and “Thank You, Women Who Work I” from her book “Rape, Sexism Life & Death” 10/21/17 at “Recycled Reads” open mic (Lumix; Black & White filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Right There, By Your Heart (verses 2 & 6)”, “Confident Women” and “Thank You, Women Who Work I” from her book “Rape, Sexism Life & Death” 10/21/17 at “Recycled Reads” open mic (Lumix camera; Threshold filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers saying her new Twitter-length poem “Quenching Chemically”, then reading her poems “David” and “Thank You, Women Who Work (1)” from her book “Chapter 38 v2”, then her poem “David” and “Death Takes Many Forms” from her book “Chapter 38 v1” live 5/27/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers saying her new Twitter-length poem “Quenching Chemically”, then reading her poems “David” and “Thank You, Women Who Work (1)” from her book “Chapter 38 v2”, then her poem “David” and “Death Takes Many Forms” from her book “Chapter 38 v1” live 5/27/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her “This Poem is About” poems “Under my Fingers” and “Know You Only Got Me” on the release date of her v5 cc&d boss lady poetry collection book “On the Edge”, then her poem “Then You, Women who Work I” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth” at “Recycled Reads” 8/18/18 in Austin (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her “This Poem is About” poems “Under my Fingers” and “Know You Only Got Me” on the release date of her v5 cc&d boss lady poetry collection book “On the Edge”, then her poem “Then You, Women who Work I” from her interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth” at “Recycled Reads” 8/18/18 in Austin (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
|
Coslow’s
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1994
I am back
at my old college
hang-out
years later
sharing some beers
with an old friend
then i remember
being there
with a friend
who used to
work there
she told me about the
women’s bathroom
in all my years
I had never
been there
she said
women write on the wall
at the left
of the stall
women write
that they’ve been raped
they name names
there were arrows
pointing
to other women’s
messages
saying
“i’ve heard this before”
first names
last names
when she told me
of this
years ago
i walked in
read the names
and wrote down one
of my own
i forgot about that wall
until now
and i am back
just yards away
from the
bathroom door
i get up
walk
open the door
years later
all the names are still there
jake jay josh larry matt scott
i can even still see
my own writing
it didn’t take long
to find it
|
Watch this YouTube video
Live at a Woman on the Beach (Beach Poets 08/02/09) (camera #1)
|
Watch this YouTube video
Live at a Woman on the Beach (Beach Poets 08/02/09) (camera #2)
|
See the full a Woman on the Beach (Beach Poets 08/02/09) show video (08/02/09, from camera #1)
This film is from the Internet Archive |
See the full a Woman on the Beach (Beach Poets 08/02/09) show video (08/02/09, from camera #1)
This film is from the Internet Archive |
Watch the YouTube video
(2:03) live 03/16/08, WordSlingers radio feature. WLUW Chicago 88.9FM
|
Listen: (2:39)
to this recording from Fusion |
Watch this YouTube video
12/04/10 from the TV camera in Lake Villa at Swing State, live in her show the Stories of Women
|
Watch this YouTube video
(2:09, of just the poem) 12/04/10 in Lake Villa at Swing State, live in her “Visual Nonsense” show the Stories of Women
|
See Kuypers’ full show video
with this & more from the TV monitor in the the Stories of Women show, in Visual Nonsense, live in Lake Villa 12/04/10 at Swing State
|
See the full show video of Kuypers reading this & more in the the Stories of Women show in in Visual Nonsense, live in Lake Villa 12/04/10 with this writing at Swing State (last line of last story cut off)
|
Watch this YouTube video
live 03/08/11 at the Café in Chicago
|
Watch this YouTube video
of the intro to the 03/08/11 open mic at the Café in Chicago
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Coslow’s”, “a woman talking about her rapist friend” and “Left with a Hole” from her book “Rape, Sexism Life & Death” at Georgetown’s “Poetry Aloud” open mic 1/13/18 (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Coslow’s”, “a woman talking about her rapist friend” and “Left with a Hole” from her book “Rape, Sexism Life & Death” at Georgetown’s “Poetry Aloud” open mic 1/13/18 (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
|
Chicago, West Side
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1995
she knew who they were coming for
she crouched in front of the window
straddling her chair she moved from the corner
her coffee sat in the window sill
the condensation rising, beading
on the window right about at her eye level.
she took the side of her index finger
periodically and smeared some of the
water away to look into the streets.
the snow was no longer falling on the
west side of Chicago; it just packed
itself darker and deeper into the ground
with every car that drove over it.
she gunshot was ringing in her ear
still. it was so loud. the earth cried
when she pulled that trigger. let out
a loud, violent scream. she could still
hear it. for these few moments, she had to
just stare out the window and wait. she
didn’t know if she should bother running,
if it mattered or not. she couldn’t think.
all she knew was that this time, when
she heard the sirens coming from the
streets, she’d know why they were coming.
she’d know who they were coming for.
|
Watch the YouTube video
(7:17) 03/16/08 live at the WordSlingers radio feature on WLUW Chicago radio (88.9FM)
|
Watch this YouTube video
Live at Getting Wired (camera #1 at Starbucks, Chicago, 08/08/09)
|
Watch this YouTube video
Live at Getting Wired (camera #2 at Starbucks, Chicago, 08/08/09)
|
See the full Getting Wired show video w/ this poem (camera #1)
This film is from the Internet Archive |
See the full Getting Wired show video w/ this writing (camera #2)
This film is from the Internet Archive
|
Watch the YouTube video
06/07/11 at the Café in Chicago (from her book Close Cover Before Striking)
|
See feature-length YouTube
video (21:47) of Kuypers reading her poems My First Time, Chicago West Side, Chess Game Again, Arrowhead, Realistic Dreams, Was Immune, To Be Different, Sunrise, Meant To Be, New Vacuum Cleaner and Skittery live 06/07/11 at the Café
|
Watch this YouTube video
of the intro to the 06/07/11 open mic at the Café in Chicago, plus 2 new poems, & Close Cover Before Striking poems
|
|
All These Reminders
Janet Kuypers
Autumn 1997
Look, over here, in my living room.
You left an empty bottle of beer
on the end table. The cap, too.
And come here, follow me, over here,
in the kitchen, look in here, see,
you left some of your food in the pantry.
A box of spaghetti, some canned
tomatoes. And come here, in the bathroom,
I know you probably won’t notice this,
but here, this towel, it smells like
you, is smells like your shaving cream.
And I could swear my crumpled bed
sheets are still warm from you.
Why did you have to go. Why
does this have to seem so hard.
Okay, look here, the remote for the
television is on the arm of the chair,
where you always leave it. And the cocktail
table, it’s pushed forward on one side
because you’d always rest your feet
on it. Everywhere I look around me,
I see something that you affected.
I look in the kitchen. I look in the
dining room. I look in the mirror.
Why did you do this to me. Why
couldn’t you have made a clean break.
There’s still some of your messages
scribbled on scraps of paper next to
the phone in the kitchen. And look,
the pillow on the couch is bunched
up because you could never get
comfortable with it. And over here,
the phone books are out on the
kitchen counter, you never put them
away, and here they are, still sitting
out, I’ll have to put them back in the
cabinet. and look here, why do I
still have all of your love letters
stuffed into a drawer in my desk.
When you left me, why did you
have to leave me all these reminders.
|
Watch the YouTube video
from the show Stop. live 09/10/02 in Chicago
|
Or see the full “Stop” show
including the performance of this piece, as a .mov file, an .mp4 file, or as a raw .ogv file, from the Internet Archive |
Watch the YouTube video
of a 10 minute portion of the 09/10/02 poetry show Stop, including this piece |
Listen live from the 03/03/02 CD
& the Chicago 09/10/02 performance
art show Stop. Look. Listen.
|
Watch the YouTube video
(2:24) 03/16/08 live, WordSlingers radio feature, WLUW Chicago radio 88.9FM
|
Listen: (2:52)
to this recording from Fusion
And order this track, or ANY track, off the cd Fusion available at iTunes.
|
Watch this YouTube video
read live 09/06/11, at the Café open mike she hosts in Chicago
|
Watch this Complete feature video of Kuypers live 09/06/11, at the Café open mike in Chicago, performing readings (including this writing) from the book Contents Under Pressure
|
Watch the YouTube video
of Kuypers reading this poem 5/9/12 at Gallery Cabaret’s the Café Gallery in Chicago (read with the U.K. poet Oz Hardwick, plus w/ recorded music from Francois Le Roux) from the Sony
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “The State of the Nation (2016 edit)” (because it was Constitution Day), “All These Reminders” & “And I’m Wondering” 9/18/16 at the Austin music open mic Kick Butt Poetry (filmed with a Canon Power Shot camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “The State of the Nation (2016 edit)” (because it was Constitution Day), “All These Reminders” & “And I’m Wondering” 9/18/16 at the Austin music open mic Kick Butt Poetry (filmed with a Sony camera).
|
See a 36+ minute YouTube video (L T56) of Janet Kuypers and Thom Woodruff going back and forth with poetry; where Janet Kuypers read her poems “Helping Men in Public Places”, “I Want”, and “Last Before Extinction”, then John Yotko read a poem he just wrote the day before, then Janet Kuypers read her poems “Warren Stories” and “Kurt Irons”, then Thom spoke, then Janet Kuypers read her poems “Never Did the Same”, “All These Reminders”, “Who You Tell Your Dreams To”, and “You and Me and Your Girlfriend”, then Thom spoke, then Janet Kuypers read her poems “My Mother My Mother My Mother”, then her prose “NASA Project”. and finally her poem “Moonlight”, all read from her performance art collection book “Chapter 38 v1” 4/29/18 at Austin’s the 2018 Poetry Bomb at the Baylor Street Art Wall.
|
See a 36+ minute YouTube video (L2500) of Janet Kuypers and Thom Woodruff going back and forth with poetry; where Janet Kuypers read her poems “Helping Men in Public Places”, “I Want”, and “Last Before Extinction”, then John Yotko read a poem he just wrote the day before, then Janet Kuypers read her poems “Warren Stories” and “Kurt Irons”, then Thom spoke, then Janet Kuypers read her poems “Never Did the Same”, “All These Reminders”, “Who You Tell Your Dreams To”, and “You and Me and Your Girlfriend”, then Thom spoke, then Janet Kuypers read her poems “My Mother My Mother My Mother”, then her prose “NASA Project”. and finally her poem “Moonlight”, all read from her performance art collection book “Chapter 38 v1” 4/29/18 at Austin’s the 2018 Poetry Bomb at the Baylor Street Art Wall.
|
|
She Told Me Her Dreams 1
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1994
we were at some sort of showing
some sort of exhibit
where they were displaying the glass
sculpture, it was eighty-three
billion years old, and it was
more smooth than anything
and it went on and on, one smooth
curve after another
it was so old
they displayed it on the water
was it a lake, or the ocean
it rested on the water, religiously
and I was in the water with someone
a man, I don’t know who
and we were swimming around it,
touching it
he was on the other side, told
me to swim under it
I didn’t think I could make it across
but I went under, across I went
I kept feeling the sides, the smoothness
somehow, transcribed along the
sides of the sculpture, was a
time line, a record of history
there’s wasn’t much at eighty-three
billion years ago, but there was
more and more the closer we got
to present
I remember reading Lyndon
Johnson’s name, and then I saw
information about the future
it was all on the glass, I was
looking at it, but I can’t remember
what it says
|
|
Childhood Memories one
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1994
I was in the basement, the playroom
that’s where all my toys were, you see
and I had just run in there
after yelling at my family
sitting in the living room
“I hate you”
now, I’ve never said that before to
my family, nor would I ever say
it again I knew better
and I had just run into the playroom
slammed the door shut
I couldn’t have been more than five
and I ran in, and I looked for things
to put in front of the door so they
couldn’t open it and find me
I took one of my chairs
from my little play set
and dragged it over to the door
then I took the little schoolhouse for
Fischer-Price toys, the side opened
up, it had a blackboard and everything
I took that little schoolhouse, put it
on the chair guarding the door
patiently obeying my orders
I was running around looking for
something else I could carry
to the door
when I heard the door knob turn
and my sister, with one arm
pushed all of my toys away
and opened the door
I knew I had been defeated
|
|
Christmas Eve
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1997
we made dinner
fettuccini alfredo
with chicken and duck
vegetables
bread
we ate
couldn’t finish everything
we were putting on our coats
getting ready to go
to midnight mass
i decided to pack up
our leftovers
give them
to some homeless people
on the main street
we got in the car
and drove
to broadway and berwyn
i got out of the car
walked over to a man there
asked him if he was hungry
i got the bowl of noodles
and the gallon of milk
out of the car
another man walked over to me
i told them to promise
that they would share
i got in the car
we were just driving
and all i could think of
was these two men
in the cold
eating pasta with their fingers
on Christmas Eve
|
Listen to the CD recording from the
CD Rough Mixes, by Pointless Orchestra
|
Watch this YouTube video
poem video broadcast on Nashville
TV, show #1 of Speer Presents |
Watch this video
This film is from
the Internet Archive |
Watch this YouTube video
(1:21)
|
Listen to this from the CD release
from the first performance art show
(08/14/97) Seeing Things Differently
|
Listen Live at the Cafe,
now available in a 3 CD set
|
Watch the YouTube video
(2:01) live 03/16/08, at WordSlingers radio feature, WLUW Chicago 88.9FM
|
Watch the YouTube video
read Christmas Day in Naples FLA 2008
|
Watch this YouTube video
live at Regina’s Place 12/18/09
|
See the YouTube video
05/24/11 at the Café in Chicago (read from the ISBN# book the Window)
|
See YouTube video of the intro to the 05/24/11 open mic at the Café in Chicago, plus her poems He Told Me His Dreams 5, He Told Me His Dreams 6, She Told Me Her Dreams 3, Ice Cream, Games, Vittorio Carli reading her poem Christmas Eve, and Kuypers reading her poem Private Lives 2
|
See YouTube video (9:35) of Kuypers 05/24/11 at the Café reading her poems He Told Me His Dreams 5, He Told Me His Dreams 6, She Told Me Her Dreams 3, Ice Cream, Games, Vittorio Carli reading her poem Christmas Eve, and Kuypers reading her poem Private Lives 2
|
Watch this YouTube video
read live 12/18/11, at the Café weekly poetry open mic she hosts in Chicago (with Opera vocals by Suzanne Hettinger)
|
Watch this YouTube video
of her reading many poems 12/18/11 at the Café in Chicago (music by the HA!man of South Africa, vocals by Suzanne Hettinger, guitar by John Yotko) including this writing
|
|
Watch this YouTube video
read live 12/18/11, at the Café weekly poetry open mic she hosts in Chicago (with Opera vocals by Suzanne Hettinger), from the Samsung Camera
|
Watch this YouTube video
read live 12/18/11, at the Café weekly poetry open mic she hosts in Chicago (with Opera vocals by Suzanne Hettinger), from the Kodak Camera
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Christmas Eve” and “Coquinas” live 12/3/16 at the Expressions “Festive Seasons” open mic at the Bahá’í Faith Center in Austin (from a Canon Power Shot camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Christmas Eve” and “Coquinas” live 12/3/16 at the Expressions “Festive Seasons” open mic at the Bahá’í Faith Center in Austin (video filmed from a Sony camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers 12/25/17 reading her poem “Christmas Eve”, then singing the WHAM! song “Last Christmas” with John on guitar, then reading her poem “Visiting Pristine Places on the Planet” at the “Buzz Mill” open mic in Austin (Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers 12/25/17 reading her poem “Christmas Eve”, then singing the WHAM! song “Last Christmas” with John on guitar, then reading her poem “Visiting Pristine Places on the Planet” at the “Buzz Mill” open mic in Austin (Lumix 2500; Hue Cycling).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers 12/25/17 reading her poem “Christmas Eve”, then singing the WHAM! song “Last Christmas” with John on guitar, then reading her poem “Visiting Pristine Places on the Planet” at the “Buzz Mill” open mic in Austin (Lumix 2500; Threshold filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers 12/25/17 reading her poem “Christmas Eve”, then singing the WHAM! song “Last Christmas” with John on guitar, then reading her poem “Visiting Pristine Places on the Planet” at the “Buzz Mill” open mic in Austin (Lumix 2500; Edge Detection).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ November 2018 Book Release Reading 11/7/18, where she read her haiku “dreams” and her “Seeing Things Differently” poems “The Things Warren Says”, “Japanese Television”, “Kurt Irons (it’s just a girl)”, “Bizarre Sexual Stories in the News”, “Christmas Eve”, and “Coquinas” from the Down in the Dirt magazine 11-12/18 book “Hurricane Katrina”, during Community Poetry at Half Price Books (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ November 2018 Book Release Reading 11/7/18, where she read her haiku “dreams” and her “Seeing Things Differently” poems “The Things Warren Says”, “Japanese Television”, “Kurt Irons (it’s just a girl)”, “Bizarre Sexual Stories in the News”, “Christmas Eve”, and “Coquinas” from the Down in the Dirt magazine 11-12/18 book “Hurricane Katrina”, during Community Poetry at Half Price Books (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ February 2019 Book Release Reading 2/6/19, where she read her her “Live at Café Aloha” show poems “Communication”, “And What I Want to Know”, and “And I’m Wondering”, then her “Seeing Things Differently” show poems “the Things Warren Says”, “Japanese Television”, “Kurt Irons (it’s just a girl)”, “Bizarre Sexual Stories in the News”, “Christmas Eve”, and “Coquinas” from the new Down in the Dirt issue book “Ornament”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ February 2019 Book Release Reading 2/6/19, where she read her her “Live at Café Aloha” show poems “Communication”, “And What I Want to Know”, and “And I’m Wondering”, then her “Seeing Things Differently” show poems “the Things Warren Says”, “Japanese Television”, “Kurt Irons (it’s just a girl)”, “Bizarre Sexual Stories in the News”, “Christmas Eve”, and “Coquinas” from the new Down in the Dirt issue book “Ornament”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
|
Flooded War Memories
Janet Kuypers
7/23/05
it was st. patrick’s day,
went to another country to see you
met up with you at a hotel
it was like we were never apart
we talked like old friends,
old war-time veterans
who fought in a war together
who shared our life stories
while sitting in a trench together
waiting for a bomb to strike
it was st. patrick’s day,
and everything seemed normal
and right
even though you lived far away
and even though we had different
life plans
it was st. patrick’s day,
i remember you laying down
in the bath tub, like a little boy,
splashing and playing in the water,
not even flinching that i was there
talking to you, naked in the tub
it was st. patrick’s day,
i wanted to get out, see the town
and you didn’t want to move
content in a dingy hotel room
all i could think was that
it was st. patrick’s day,
and i was in another country,
i wanted to get up and go
and i don’t know what snapped
in you on st. patick’s day,
but i was in a dress, ready to go,
and you knocked me down
i remember being knocked on to
one of those hotel beds
in my panty hose and dress,
and you strangled me
it was like you were in the war again
and you were fighting to the death
but i thought we were on
the same side
why are you trying to hurt me
and like a bull dog that finally listened
to the commands of their master,
you finally stopped, and
there i was, your ally,
the one that sat in the trenches
with you all those years ago
torn panty hose, bloody knees
i never thought you’d fight
one of your buddies, i swear
*
i got out and called for back up
in the hotel lobby
at the pay phone an older woman
came up to me, asking
if i was all right
her question stopped me
from hyperventilating
i looked down at my torn hose,
bloody knees
and I said,
i’m fine
*
i just knew i had to get out of there
before more shells fell
|
Listen Live at the Cafe,
now available in a 3 CD set
|
Get this on Poetic Pieces -
a CD of poetry & editorials
for only $14.99
(with free shipping!).
|
Watch the YouTube video
(3:49) live, WordSlingers feature, WLUW Chicago radio 88.9FM
|
Watch this YouTube video
live at the Café in Chicago 03/16/10
|
Watch this YouTube video
(with the “line drawing” filter)
live at the Café in Chicago 03/16/10
|
Watch this YouTube video
(recorded with a metallic filter)
live at the Café in Chicago 03/16/10
|
Watch this YouTube video
(with the Pastel Sketch filter)
live at the Café in Chicago 03/16/10
|
Watch this YouTube video
(with the Posterize filter)
live at the Café in Chicago 03/16/10
|
Watch this YouTube video
of the introduction at the Café in Chicago, & the poem Flooded War Memorieslive 03/16/10; at the Café; in Chicago
|
Watch the YouTube video
of this poem read live in her Pilsen feature “Games We Play” 3/17/12 at Café Mestizo (music from Francois Le Roux, the HA!man of South Africa)
|
See feature-length YouTube
video of many poems read 3/17/12
at Café Mestizo from the live feature
“Games We Play”, w/ this poem
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Flooded War Memories”, “Tribal Scream”, and “Counting Bodies” from her book “Let me See You Stripped” live at “Recycled Reads” open mic3/17/18 (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Flooded War Memories”, “Tribal Scream”, and “Counting Bodies” from her book “Let me See You Stripped” live at “Recycled Reads” open mic 3/17/18 (video filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Flooded War Memories” (by request), “Equality for Women” (written on and for International Women’s Day, 3/14), and “Check your Beliefs at the Door” live 3/16/19 at “Poetry Aloud” (from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Flooded War Memories” (by request), “Equality for Women” (written on and for International Women’s Day, 3/14), and “Check your Beliefs at the Door” live 3/16/19 at “Poetry Aloud” (Panasonic Lumix T56 camera; Posterized).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Flooded War Memories” (by request), “Equality for Women” (written on and for International Women’s Day, 3/14), and “Check your Beliefs at the Door” live 3/16/19 at “Poetry Aloud” (from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Flooded War Memories” (by request), “Equality for Women” (written on and for International Women’s Day, 3/14), and “Check your Beliefs at the Door” live 3/16/19 at “Poetry Aloud” (Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera; Sepia).
|
|
There I Sit
Janet Kuypers
1990
there I sit
I sit alone
separated
isolated
away from my only love
my obsession
I pull out
a fountain pen
I look
at the lines
the contours
of his face
defining
the piercing
eyes
the pointed
nose
the tender
lips
I feverishly
draw
I sketch
I capture
his image
I stare
I gaze
I memorize his every detail
but he never looks back
so I will draw
until my
fountain pen
runs dry
|
|
See YouTube video from 4/9/17 of Janet Kuypers reading a portion of her short story “Crazy”, then reading her poems “Tall Man”, “There I Sit” and “Optimizing your Odds” at “Kick Butt Poetry” in Austin (from a Canon Power Shot SX700 camera).
|
See YouTube video from 4/9/17 of Janet Kuypers reading a portion of her short story “Crazy”, then reading her poems “Tall Man”, “There I Sit” and “Optimizing your Odds” at “Kick Butt Poetry” in Austin (this video was filmed from a Sony camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers in her 9/2/17 show “Energy with poetry and Music” “Expressions Poetry with Music!” in Austin performing her songs/poems “Victim” (done as a Chicago Industrial song), “There I Sit” to blues music, “Tight Top Affair” w/ an electric guitar, & “Knew I Had to be Ready” (this video was filmed from a Sony camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers in her 9/2/17 show “Energy with poetry and Music” at “Expressions Poetry with Music!” in Austin performing her songs/poems “Victim” (done as a Chicago Industrial song), “There I Sit” to blues music, “Tight Top Affair” w/ an electric guitar, & “Knew I Had to be Ready” (video filmed from a Panasonic Lumix camera).
|
Download all of these songs & poems
in the free PDF file chapbook
“Energy with poetry and Music”
containing the songs/poems “There I Sit”,
“Tight Top Affair”, “Victim”, and
“Knew I Had to be Ready”.
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ April 2018 Book Release Reading 4/4/18, where she read her “Energy with Poetry and Music” performance art poems & songs (all performed as poetry readings) “There I Sit” “Victim”, “Knew I Had to be Ready” and “Tight Rope Affair” from the cc&d 4/18 book “War of Water” as she hosted “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” during National Poetry Month (Panasonic Lumix T56).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ April 2018 Book Release Reading 4/4/18, where she read her “Energy with Poetry and Music” performance art poems & songs (all performed as poetry readings) “There I Sit” “Victim”, “Knew I Had to be Ready” and “Tight Rope Affair” from the cc&d 4/18 book “War of Water” as she hosted “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” during National Poetry Month (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera, w/ an Edge Detection filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ April 2018 Book Release Reading 4/4/18, where she read her “Energy with Poetry and Music” performance art poems & songs (all performed as poetry readings) “There I Sit” “Victim”, “Knew I Had to be Ready” and “Tight Rope Affair” from the cc&d 4/18 book “War of Water” as she hosted “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” during National Poetry Month (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera, w/ a Posterize filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ April 2018 Book Release Reading 4/4/18, where she read her “Energy with Poetry and Music” performance art poems & songs (all performed as poetry readings) “There I Sit” “Victim”, “Knew I Had to be Ready” and “Tight Rope Affair” from the cc&d 4/18 book “War of Water” as she hosted “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” during National Poetry Month (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera, w/ a Threshold filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 5/2/18 “May 2018 Book Release Reading” Austin feature reading, reading from the cc&d January-April 2018 issue collection book “Not a Trace” haiku “He’s an Escapist”, then her poems “There I Sit”, “Victim”, “Knew I Had to be Ready”, and “Tight Rope Affair” from her show “Energy with Poetry and Music” for “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” (P L T56).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 5/2/18 “May 2018 Book Release Reading” Austin feature reading, reading from the cc&d January-April 2018 issue collection book “Not a Trace” haiku “He’s an Escapist”, then her poems “There I Sit”, “Victim”, “Knew I Had to be Ready”, and “Tight Rope Affair” from her show “Energy with Poetry and Music” for “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” (PL2500).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ July 2018 Book Release Reading 7/4/18, reading her poems “Moonlight”, “There I Sit”, and “Writing Your Name” from her book “Chapter 38 v1”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ July 2018 Book Release Reading 7/4/18, reading her poems “Moonlight”, “There I Sit”, and “Writing Your Name” from her book “Chapter 38 v1”, in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera; Posterize filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem “On the Bridge” from her 2018 full-color full-bleed photography (+ select poems) book “Antarctica: Wildlife”, then her poem “There I Sit” from the cc&d 4/18 v282 book “War of Water”, then her poem “Just one Book” from the cc&d 9/17 v275 book “a Pick for the Future” at “Poetry Aloud” 7/28/18 (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem “On the Bridge” from her 2018 full-color full-bleed photography (+ select poems) book “Antarctica: Wildlife”, then her poem “There I Sit” from the cc&d 4/18 v282 book “War of Water”, then her poem “Just one Book” from the cc&d 9/17 v275 book “a Pick for the Future” at “Poetry Aloud” 7/28/18 (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
|
Alexi
Janet Kuypers
February 8, 1989
she was the type of woman
who loved the thrill of the chase
and the risk of adventure
her favorite fruit was the forbidden
“i’m not good
and i’m not bad -
i’m alexi”
and when she set her sight
she knew it would be an uphill climb
but that made alexi
more appealing
|
|
A New Patient
Janet Kuypers
9/1/98, edited
There’s a child here who uses a color pack
of crayons with his coloring book. I don’t know
how many colors are in the pack of crayons--
the brand name of the crayon pack is not Crayola,
that much I’ve gathered. The boy is with his mother
and the mom seems to have a better grasp of
language than the average adult. Does the mother
or the son have a patient here? I’ve heard about
no new patients. I haven’t heard about any new
patients this week, but maybe there is one.
This little boy can speak well. And walk.
That’s important for little boys, to be able to walk
and talk well, and do other simple tasks that
are usually important for little boys and such.
I wonder if the average patient learns to walk,
or dress, or talk, or learn, or eat. This is just
something I wonder about periodically. I don’t
usually interact with many patients, so I’m forced
to wonder about these things from time to time.
|
|
plush horse stories
ice cream parlor,
candy shop, bakery, 1986-1990
work stories
Cashews
Janet Kuypers
spring 1995
once, i was working behind the
candy counter and matt came up behind
me while i was serving this customer,
this young guy ordering a pound of
cashews. he was a heavy-set guy, this
customer, that is, matt was thin and
quite the womanizer at the ripe old age
of sixteen. well, matt walked up behind
me, while i was with this customer, and
he whispered in my ear, “fuck me
till i bleed,” then he walked away. i was
sure the guy ordering the cashews heard
him. I stood there, candy scoop in my
hand, staring for a brief moment, then i
said, “oh, the people i work with,” trying
to hid my blushing, and finished scooping
cashews.
|
|
a Man Calls a Woman
Janet Kuypers
1997
every time a man calls a woman a “bitch”
the threat of rape lies behind his hostility
every time a man calls a woman a “witch”
he reminds her of the slaughter of millions
whose independence and medical
knowledge threatened male dominance
every time a man makes a joke about rape
or wife-beating he issues a warning to women
Bob Lamm, 1976
every time a man calls a woman a “babe”
he tells her he thinks of her as a child
every time a man calls a woman a “fox”
he tells her she is to be treated like an animal
every time a man calls a woman a “honey”
he tells her she is meant to be consumed
every time a man calls a woman a “doll”
he tells her she is something to be played with
every time a man calls a woman a “bag”
he tells her she is something to be used
every time a man calls a woman a “slit”
he tells her she’s a body part, not whole
every time a man calls a woman a “screw”
he tells her she is what he does to her
every time a man calls a woman a “girl”
he tells her she can’t think like an adult
every time a man calls a woman a “whore”
he tells her she is wrong for having sex
every time a man calls a woman a “lay”
he tells her she is no good on her feet
every time a man calls a woman anything
less than woman he tells her who’s the boss
so yes, we all know who the boss is, boys
you’ve done such a good job of telling us
|
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem a Man Calls a Woman live 6/12/13 as the intro to the open mic the Café Gallery in Chicago (Canon)
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem a Man Calls a Woman live 6/12/13 as the intro to the open mic the Café Gallery in Chicago (Sony)
|
See YouTube video
of Kuypers hosting the open mic 6/12/13 at Gallery Cabaret’s the Café Gallery in Chicago, including her reading this and other poems & prose!
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers in her 6/3/17 poetry show “Meant to do Big Things” at June is a Woman! in Austin’s the Bahá’í Faith Center (Lumix), with her poems
“you were meant”,
“Athena”,
“a man calls a woman”,
“cover”,
“Diane Talking About her Trip to Mexico City”,
and “Echo in my Mind” (while playing an acoustic guitar with with a bow).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers in her 6/3/17 poetry show “Meant to do Big Things” at June is a Woman! in Austin’s the Bahá’í Faith Center (Sony), with her poems
“you were meant”,
“Athena”,
“a man calls a woman”,
“cover”,
“Diane Talking About her Trip to Mexico City”,
and “Echo in my Mind” (while playing an acoustic guitar with a bow).
|
Download all of the poems from the free chapbook
“Meant to do Big Things”
of the poems she performed in her 6/3/17 “Meant to do Big Things” poetry feature/show, including
“you were meant”,
“Athena”,
“a man calls a woman”,
“cover”,
“Diane Talking About her Trip to Mexico City,
“Echo in my Mind”,
and the bonus poem “My brain was (2017 Streamline)”.
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 1/3/18 “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” Austin feature reading, reading her “Meant to do Big Things” poems
“Athena”,
“a man calls a woman”,
“Diane Talking About her Trip to Mexico City”,
“cover”,
& “Echo in my Mind” from the cc&d 1/18 book “the End of the World” to people at the bookstore (L56).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 1/3/18 “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books” Austin feature reading, reading her “Meant to do Big Things” poems
“Athena”,
“a man calls a woman”,
“Diane Talking About her Trip to Mexico City”,
“cover”,
& “Echo in my Mind” from the cc&d 1/18 book “the End of the World” tlive (L56Th).
|
|
Catching a Muscovy
Janet Kuypers
Autumn 1996
One year, Doc Wiggins
decided he wanted to shoot
one of the Muscovy ducks
and have it for Thanksgiving.
As far as ducks go, the
Muscovies are pretty ugly —
the males look something like
turkeys, and in Southwest
Florida, in this heavily pop-
ulated area, they are so
used to people that they will
walk up to you, expecting food.
Well, one year, bless his heart,
Doc Wiggins decided he wanted
to shoot one for Thanksgiving
dinner, so I taught him how to
use my rifle and we went to a
nearby lake. Then Doc started to
worry. “What if my bullet ricochets
off the water and hits something
else?” So he was in a bit of a
panic, trying to figure out what
to do. So I told him just to sit
tight a minute, and sure enough,
a Muscovy walked right up to him
and looked at him. So Doc looked
at me, then the duck, and just
picked it up and brought it home.
|
|
See YouTube video in Austin of Janet Kuypers reading her poem “Catching a Muscovy” from her poetry performance art book “Chapter 38 v2” live 5/21/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (Samsung Galaxy S7 w/ a Sepia Tone filter.
|
See YouTube video in Austin of Janet Kuypers reading her poem “Catching a Muscovy” from her poetry performance art book “Chapter 38 v2” live 5/21/18 at Buzz Mill open mic (Samsung Galaxy S7 w/ a Threshold filter).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Twin”, “Catching a Muscovy” and “Changing the Locks” from her performance art poetry collection book “Chapter 38 v2” live at Recycled Reads 7/21/18 (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Twin”, “Catching a Muscovy” and “Changing the Locks” from her performance art poetry collection book “Chapter 38 v2” live at Recycled Reads 7/21/18 (this video was filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her Twitter Verse Periodic Table poem “Manganese Growing” her poem “Last Before Extinction” (read from the Down in the Dirt 1-6 2019 issue and chapbooks collection book “The Flickering Light” and her 20019 poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”), and her poem “Catching a Muscovy” (read from the the cc&d May 2008 v184 issue book “That was the Time”) live 9/15/19 at “Poetry Aloud” in Georgetown (Panasonic Lumix T56 video camera, posted on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Tumblr).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her Twitter Verse Periodic Table poem “Manganese Growing” her poem “Last Before Extinction” (read from the Down in the Dirt 1-6 2019 issue and chapbooks collection book “The Flickering Light” and her 20019 poetry book “Every Event of the Year (Volume one: January-June)”), and her poem “Catching a Muscovy” (read from the the cc&d May 2008 v184 issue book “That was the Time”) live 9/15/19 at “Poetry Aloud” in Georgetown (Panasonic Lumix 2500 video camera, posted on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Tumblr).
|
|
changing the Locks
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1995
and the children
got older, borrowed the car
or got picked up by friends
to go out
and when one was leaving
mom would joke around
and say
she was going to change
the locks
or mom and dad were going
to move away
and leave no
forwarding address
they never did that, though
they were always there
|
|
|
Childhood Memories four
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1994
I was in the first grade, in Mrs.
Lindstrom’s class
and every morning, probably
around ten-thirty, we would have
snack-time. And everyone would
get their snacks that their mommies
made for them, and we’d all
sit and eat. But me and Lori
Zlotow, we would take our math
books, hold them up like a tray,
throw a napkin over our arms,
put all of our snacks on our books,
and walk around the room
bartering for better snacks. “I’ll
give you this apple for your
candy bar.” We’d finish trading,
come back with a quarter of an
orange, an extra piece of gum.
We’d put the orange quarter in
our mouths, peel and all, and
act like monkeys. And laugh.
|
|
Climbing Trees
Janet Kuypers
(5/10/97, written with D.J.)
I
you see, I was a girl, I didn’t climb trees,
but I always wished for a tree house,
one with a ladder so it would be easy to get to the top.
So I could see the world from a different view.
So I could feel like I have conquered.
II
Big trees, more fun,
that’s what I’d think.
Then when I’d get to about the height of a roof,
our garage as a matter of fact,
then the fear would set in.
Not fear of falling from where I was,
but of going higher.
Higher, then too high.
What is too high?
III
One of my co-workers decided one day that he
wasn’t going to try anymore. That no one cared
if he did a good job, so he just wouldn’t bother.
And I thought, your coworkers shouldn’t be the scale
you judge yourself on. You should be your
scale, you should be trying because you need
to know you can be better than what you are.
Then I thought, maybe he never climbed trees.
|
Watch this YouTube video
live at Beach Poets 07/13/08
|
07/13/08, Beach Poets
Watch the entire performance video, which contains this poem
(25:19), from the Internet Archive
|
Watch the YouTube video
of this poem 08/28/11, first in in her book Contents Under Pressure, read on WZRD radio, from the Canon camera
|
See feature-length YouTube
video 08/26/11 of the majority of the WZRD radio show with her reading poetry (incliding this writing) from the Canon camera
|
See YouTube video 7/10/16 of Janet Kuypers reading her 2 poems Climbing Trees and Death Takes Many Forms at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (tCanon Power Shot camera).
|
See YouTube video 7/10/16 of Janet Kuypers reading her 2 poems Climbing Trees and Death Takes Many Forms at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (from a Sony camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Childhood Memories 2” from her poetry show “Years in Poetry”, + her poems “Climbing Trees” and “Childhood Memories 5” from her poetry show “Poems on the Beach”, all from her performance art poetry collection book “Chapter 38 v2” live at Recycled Reads 7/21/18 (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Childhood Memories 2” from her poetry show “Years in Poetry”, + her poems “Climbing Trees” and “Childhood Memories 5” from her poetry show “Poems on the Beach”, all from her performance art poetry collection book “Chapter 38 v2” live at Recycled Reads 7/21/18 (filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).
|
|
Conscious Of It
Janet Kuypers
Summer 1998
only when I think about it
only when I’m conscious of it
only sometime when I
think of you as alive
maybe I should have
gone to your funeral
maybe I should
have seen your body
maybe I could have seen
the color of your skin
or the needle marks
near your lips
they used to keep
your mouth together
maybe I needed
to see these things
but I don’t know
if I was ready
I still don’t know
if I am ready
maybe if I went
I wouldn’t have so
much to say to you
maybe I wouldn’t
expect you to come back
maybe then I wouldn’t want
to touch your face
and feel your skin
maybe it would be
easier that way
|
|
False Suicide
Janet Kuypers
Autumn 1996
“A woman called the station once,
said, ’My daughter has been depressed
lately, has been talking about killing
herself. And she’s an early riser, and
hasn’t returned any of me calls. Could
you go over there? I’m afraid something
terrible has happened.’ So we said we’d
go there, and we got in the squad car and
went to the woman’s house. All the doors
were locked, and we started looking through
the windows, and I saw her on the bed, stark
naked, with her tongue sticking out, quite
dead-looking. Now, this is kind of strange,
because women usually commit suicide
dressed well. In all my years I ain’t
never seen a woman commit suicide
naked. Well, me partner kicked the front door
down with one kick, and we went back to
the bedroom, and I grabbed her hand to see if
rigamortis set in yet, if she was cold, if she
was stiff. And when I grabbed her hand
she jumped up and screamed, and then she
saw another police officer and she started
to calm down. And we said, ’Your mother
thought you might have killed yourself.
She said you were an early riser.’ And she
said, ’Damn mother,’ under her breath.”
|
|
Hiding Vices
Janet Kuypers
1996
“The way I see it
the Bible is so popular
because of its many confusions
in which it is possible
to hide any vice
or combination of vices.”
John Leroy Coffin, Springfield MO, 1997
i met a man once
who told me
that he prayed to God every night
now, i knew better
and he was no Christian
maybe born one, maybe baptized
but i knew he had
notches on his bedpost
and so i asked him
how he could justify
being a Christian
and having sex before marriage
and he said,
“it doesn’t say in the Bible
that you can’t
have sex before marriage”
and so i checked
and the closest thing
i could find
was “thou shalt keep
thy marriage bed pure”
and i wondered
who misconstrued
the words first
|
Watch this YouTube video
read live 07/13/08, Beach Poets
|
07/13/08, Beach Poets
Watch the entire performance video, which contains this poem
(25:19) from the Internet Archive
|
Watch this YouTube video
live at the Café in Chicago 03/30/10
|
Watch the YouTube video
of the open mic intro at the Café in Chicago 03/30/10 & the poems More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, and Hiding Vices
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2 (“line drawing” filter)
|
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2 (with the “solarize” filter)
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2 (with a metallic filter)
|
Watch the YouTube video
of all of the religion-inspired poems read live at the Café on 03/30/10: More Believable That Way, Thank You, Women Who Work 1, Thank You, Women Who Work 2, Fulfill Their Deepest Vocation, Hiding Vices, Gift of Motherhood 1, and Gift of Motherhood 2
|
See YouTube video from 4/15/17 of Janet Kuypers reading a portion of her short story “Crazy”, then reading her poems (Canon psSX700) “Hiding Vices”, “Farmer” and “Haiku (poet)” at Austin’s “Recycled Reads”.
|
See YouTube video from 4/15/17 of Janet Kuypers reading a portion of her short story “Crazy”, then reading her poems (from a Sony) “Hiding Vices”, “Farmer” and “Haiku (poet)” at Austin’s “Recycled Reads”.
|
|
Twin
Janet Kuypers
spring 1994
they tell me i was born
two months premature
the first of twins
they tell me it was difficult
my birth
i still can’t hear in one ear
i have an indentation in my chest
on the right side
where they had to run a tube
in me
to keep me alive
they tell me they kept Douglas alive
for three weeks
but he just couldn’t survive
i wonder what it would have been like
to have someone look just like me
we could switch places
fool everyone
we’d be inseparable
my family doesn’t talk about
him much
but sometimes
i still think of him
maybe with the medical world
today
he would be alive
sometimes i feel
like i’m not whole
|
|
Masquerade
Janet Kuypers
1988
You asked me to the masquerade
and I willingly complied
but I’m tired of wearing this dress
for the feathers in my costume
won’t stop licking my face
and you cannot see the tears
falling behind my mask -
When you see the price they pay
I’m sure you’ll come and join
the masquerade, you say
but the price is too high
for I don’t want to wear a mask
with you, and I would only hope
that I don’t have to.
|
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ October 2017 Book Release Reading 10/4/17 of Down in the Dirt’s book “a Finch in the Window” poems “origin, from the macro to the micro”, “violence and peace both work”, “Masquerade” “Curium”, “This Halloween”, “This Halloween Again” and “Salesman” in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (filmed w/ a Lumix camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers’ October 2017 Book Release Reading 10/4/17 of Down in the Dirt’s book “a Finch in the Window” poems “origin, from the macro to the micro”, “violence and peace both work”, “Masquerade” “Curium”, “This Halloween”, “This Halloween Again” and “Salesman” in Community Poetry @ Half Price Books (filmed w/ a Sony camera).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 1/3/18 “ January 2018 Book Release Reading” feature through “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books”, with “exterior”, “soul”, “earth”, “lost (2017)”, “jumped”, “essence”, “Exempt from the Draft”, “Only an Observer”, “You Know What I’m Talking About (2016 grateful edition)”, “upside-down”, “enjoy”, “imprisoned / ignorance”, “Elusive Imaginary Creature”, “Masquerade”, “knife (2014)”, “ghosts”, “easy”, “falling”, “xeric”, “instead”, and “Earth was Alive and Dying” from the Down in the Dirt magazine’s 9-12 2017 issue collection book “the Light in the Sky” (Lumix 2500).
|
See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers at her 1/3/18 “ January 2018 Book Release Reading” feature through “Community Poetry @ Half Price Books”, with “exterior”, “soul”, “earth”, “lost (2017)”, “jumped”, “essence”, “Exempt from the Draft”, “Only an Observer”, “You Know What I’m Talking About (2016 grateful edition)”, “upside-down”, “enjoy”, “imprisoned / ignorance”, “Elusive Imaginary Creature”, “Masquerade”, “knife (2014)”, “ghosts”, “easy”, “falling”, “xeric”, “instead”, and “Earth was Alive and Dying” from the Down in the Dirt magazine’s 9-12 2017 issue collection book “the Light in the Sky” (Lumix T56).
|
|
Poker Face
Janet Kuypers
Spring 1995
every once in a while
mom would play cards with us
but her poker face is just awful
she’d draw a card,
one she evidently wanted
look at it down her bifocals
raise her eyebrows
“ooh, ooh, ooh!!”
she’d say
we all knew then
we should fold
|
edit this poem in wandering words...
rearrange the words... or make a new poem
either in Flash or in Java (Windows only)!
|
Watch the YouTube video
Published in her book Close Cover Before Striking, read (for future audio CD release) 06/28/11 on WZRD radio, from the main camera
|
See feature-length YouTube
video 06/26/11 of the majority of the WZRD radio show with her reading poetry (including this poem) from the main camera
|
|
Quite Happy Looking
Janet Kuypers
1989
This smile I made for myself —
do you
see it? I made it
out of clay,
and I shaped it
to be quite happy
looking. I parted
the lips and
curled up the edges.
I even
polished the teeth. It looks real.
It was a very
good looking smile.
But not even the clay
I shaped and
molded can last forever,
and now
the sides curl down.
The clay
looks tired from
holding this pose.
I am not fooling you
anymore, am I
|
|
Raking Leaves
Janet Kuypers
1994
Too many leaves.
Let me help you
I say, let me hold
this bag for you.
You’ve grown so
much, you’re doing
all the hard work
now, and every
year there seem
to be more and
more leaves. It’s
too much for your
father to do.
Too many leaves.
Why does there
seem to be more
this year? They
almost cover all
of our windows
now. Next year
you won’t be
able to see our
house anymore,
the leaves will
take over, it will
be like our house
was never there.
Too many leaves.
Won’t you help
us, my son? You’re
so good
|
|
They Called it Trust
Janet Kuypers
Autumn 1991
Do you remember when
it was 1:30 a.m. one rainy night
and you asked me what
I wanted to do?
I told you that I wanted
to take a bottle of champagne,
climb on to the roof of your house
and toast in the pouring rain.
You asked me why I said that.
I shrugged my shoulders flippantly
and said that it was something to do.
But I was testing you.
I was afraid to ask
if you would follow me
when I told you to trust me.
And that is why I trusted you
when you poured the champagne
and kissed my wet skin
|
|
They Tried
Janet Kuypers
1988
they tried to hold me down
they tried to keep me in
they didn’t understand
“I was different”
they said
as day after day
I led my life
with the interrogation
lamp shining in my face
they tried to change me
they tried to bend my will
they wanted to break me
“We don’t like you”
they said
but every day
I faced the battle
in splendid silence
knowing that all like me
would understand me
and thank me
they tried to make me beg
they tried to make me cry
they wanted me to conform
“We don’t need your type”
they said
and I ignored them
for I couldn’t let those
who didn’t understand
and didn’t want to learn
or respect
or treat me as human
destroy me
|
|
Janet Kuypers has a Communications degree in News/Editorial Journalism (starting in computer science engineering studies) from the UIUC. She had the equivalent of a minor in photography and specialized in creative writing. A portrait photographer for years in the early 1990s, she was also an acquaintance rape workshop facilitator, and she started her publishing career as an editor of two literary magazines. Later she was an art director, webmaster and photographer for a few magazines for a publishing company in Chicago, and this Journalism major was even the final featured poetry performer of 15 poets with a 10 minute feature at the 2006 Society of Professional Journalism Expo’s Chicago Poetry Showcase. This certified minister was even the officiant of a wedding in 2006.
She sang with acoustic bands “Mom’s Favorite Vase”, “Weeds and Flowers” and “the Second Axing”, and does music sampling. Kuypers is published in books, magazines and on the internet around 9,300 times for writing, and over 17,800 times for art work in her professional career, and has been profiled in such magazines as Nation and Discover U, won the award for a Poetry Ambassador and was nominated as Poet of the Year for 2006 by the International Society of Poets. She has also been highlighted on radio stations, including WEFT (90.1FM), WLUW (88.7FM), WSUM (91.7FM), WZRD (88.3FM), KOOP (91.7FM), WLS (8900AM), the internet radio stations ArtistFirst dot com, chicagopoetry.com’s Poetry World Radio and Scars Internet Radio (SIR), and was even shortly on Q101 FM radio. She has also appeared on television for poetry in Nashville (in 1997), Chicago (in 1997), and northern Illinois (in a few appearances on the show for the Lake County Poets Society in 2006). Kuypers was also interviewed on her art work on Urbana’s WCIA channel 3 10 o’clock news.
She turned her writing into performance art on her own and with musical groups like Pointless Orchestra, 5D/5D, The DMJ Art Connection, Order From Chaos, Peter Bartels, Jake and Haystack, the Bastard Trio, and the JoAnne Pow!ers Trio, and starting in 2005 Kuypers ran a monthly iPodCast of her work, as well mixed JK Radio — an Internet radio station — into Scars Internet Radio (both radio stations on the Internet air 2005-2009). She even managed the Chaotic Radio show (an hour long Internet radio show 1.5 years, 2006-2007) through BZoO.org. She has performed spoken word and music across the country - in the spring of 1998 she embarked on her first national poetry tour, with featured performances, among other venues, at the Albuquerque Spoken Word Festival during the National Poetry Slam; her bands have had concerts in Chicago and in Alaska; in 2003 she hosted and performed at a weekly poetry and music open mike (called Sing Your Life), and from 2002 through 2005 was a featured performance artist, doing quarterly performance art shows with readings, music and images. Starting at this time Kuypers released a large number of CD releases currently available for sale at iTunes or amazon, including “Across the Pond”(a 3 CD set of poems by Oz Hardwick and Janet Kuypers with assorted vocals read to acoustic guitar of both Blues music and stylized Contemporary English Folk music), “Made Any Difference” (CD single of poem reading with multiple musicians), “Letting It All Out”, “What we Need in Life” (CD single by Janet Kuypers in Mom’s Favorite Vase of “What we Need in Life”, plus in guitarist Warren Peterson’s honor live recordings literally around the globe with guitarist John Yotko), “hmmm” (4 CD set), “Dobro Veče” (4 CD set), “the Stories of Women”, “Sexism and Other Stories”, “40”, “Live” (14 CD set), “an American Portrait” (Janet Kuypers/Kiki poetry to music from Jake & Haystack in Nashville), “Screeching to a Halt” (2008 CD EP of music from 5D/5D with Janet Kuypers poetry), “2 for the Price of 1” (Janet Kuypers poetry to music from Peter Bartels), “the Evolution of Performance Art” (13 CD set), “Burn Through Me” (Janet Kuypers poetry to music from The HA!Man of South Africa), “Seeing a Psychiatrist” (3 CD set), “The Things They Did To You” (Janet Kuypers poetry to music from the DMJ Art Connection), “Hope Chest in the Attic” (audio CD set), “St. Paul’s” (3 CD set), “the 2009 Poetry Game Show” (3 CD set), “Fusion” (Janet Kuypers poetry in multi CD set with Madison, WI jazz music from the Bastard Trio, the JoAnne Pow!ers Trio, and Paul Baker), “Chaos In Motion” (tracks from Internet radio shows on Chaotic Radio), “Chaotic Elements” (audio CD set for the poetry collection book and supplemental chapbooks for The Elements), “etc.” audio CD set, “Manic Depressive or Something” (Janet Kuypers poetry to music from the DMJ Art Connection), “Singular”, “Indian Flux” (Janet Kuypers poetry to music from the DMJ Art Connection), “The Chaotic Collection #01-05”, “The DMJ Art Connection Disc 1” (Janet Kuypers poetry to music from the DMJ Art Connection), “Oh.” audio CD, “Live At the Café” (3 CD set), “String Theory” (Janet Kuypers reading other people's poetry, with music from “the DMJ Art Connection), “Scars Presents WZRD radio” (2 CD set), “SIN - Scars Internet News”, “Questions in a World Without Answers”, “Conflict Contact Control”, “How Do I Get There?”, “Sing Your Life”, “Dreams”, “Changing Gears”, “The Other Side”, “Death Comes in Threes”, “the final”, “Moving Performances”, “Seeing Things Differently”, “Live At Cafe Aloha”, “the Demo Tapes” (Mom’s Favorite Vase), “Something Is Sweating” (the Second Axing), “Live In Alaska” EP (the Second Axing), “the Entropy Project”, “Tick Tock” (with 5D/5D), “Six Eleven”
“Stop. Look. Listen.”, “Stop. Look. Listen to the Music” (a compilation CD from the three bands “Mom’s Favorite Vase”, “Weeds & Flowers” and “The Second Axing”), and “Change Rearrange” (the performance art poetry CD with sampled music).
From 2010 through 2015 Kuypers also hosted the Chicago poetry open mic the Café Gallery, while also broadcasting weekly feature and open mic podcasts that were also released as YouTube videos.
In addition to being published with Bernadette Miller in the short story collection book Domestic Blisters, as well as in a book of poetry turned to prose with Eric Bonholtzer in the book Duality, Kuypers has had many books of her own published: Hope Chest in the Attic, The Window, Close Cover Before Striking, (woman.) (spiral bound), Autumn Reason (novel in letter form), the Average Guy’s Guide (to Feminism), Contents Under Pressure, etc., and eventually The Key To Believing (2002 650 page novel), Changing Gears (travel journals around the United States), The Other Side (European travel book), the three collection books from 2004: Oeuvre (poetry), Exaro Versus (prose) and L’arte (art), The Boss Lady’s Editorials, The Boss Lady’s Editorials (2005 Expanded Edition), Seeing Things Differently, Change/Rearrange, Death Comes in Threes, Moving Performances, Six Eleven, Live at Cafe Aloha, Dreams, Rough Mixes, The Entropy Project, The Other Side (2006 edition), Stop., Sing Your Life, the hardcover art book (with an editorial) in cc&d v165.25, the Kuypers edition of Writings to Honour & Cherish, The Kuypers Edition: Blister and Burn, S&M, cc&d v170.5, cc&d v171.5: Living in Chaos, Tick Tock, cc&d v1273.22: Silent Screams, Taking It All In, It All Comes Down, Rising to the Surface, Galapagos, Chapter 38 (v1 and volume 1), Chapter 38 (v2 and Volume 2), Chapter 38 v3, Finally: Literature for the Snotty and Elite (Volume 1, Volume 2 and part 1 of a 3 part set), A Wake-Up Call From Tradition (part 2 of a 3 part set), (recovery), Dark Matter: the mind of Janet Kuypers , Evolution, Adolph Hitler, O .J. Simpson and U.S. Politics, the one thing the government still has no control over, (tweet), Get Your Buzz On, Janet & Jean Together, poem, Taking Poetry to the Streets, the Cana-Dixie Chi-town Union, the Written Word, Dual, Prepare Her for This, uncorrect, Living in a Big World (color interior book with art and with “Seeing a Psychiatrist”), Pulled the Trigger (part 3 of a 3 part set), Venture to the Unknown (select writings with extensive color NASA/Huubble Space Telescope images), Janet Kuypers: Enriched, She’s an Open Book, “40”, Sexism and Other Stories, the Stories of Women, Prominent Pen (Kuypers edition), Elemental, the paperback book of the 2012 Datebook (which was also released as a spiral-bound ISBN# ISSN# 2012 little spiral datebook, Prominent Tongue, Chaotic Elements, and Fusion, the (select) death poetry book Stabity Stabity Stab Stab Stab, the 2012 art book a Picture’s Worth 1,000 words (available with both b&w interior pages and full color interior pages, the shutterfly ISSN# ISBN# hardcover art book life, in color, Post-Apocalyptic, Burn Through Me, Under the Sea (photo book), the Periodic Table of Poetry (with poems written for every element in the Periodic Table), a year long Journey, Bon Voyage! (a journal and photography book with select poems on travel as an American female vegetarian in India), and the mini books Part of my Pain, Let me See you Stripped, Say Nothing, Give me the News, when you Dream tonight, Rape, Sexism, Life & Death (with some Slovak poetry translations), Twitterati, and 100 Haikus, that coincided with the June 2014 release of the two poetry collection books Partial Nudity and Revealed. 2017, after her October 2015 move to Austin Texas, also witnessed the release of 2 Janet Kuypers book of poetry written in Austin, “(pheromemes) 2015-2017 poems” and a book of poetry written for her poetry features and show, “(pheromemes) 2015-2017 show poems” (and both pheromemes books are available from two printers). In 2018, Scars Publications released “Antarctica: Earth’s Final Frontier” and “Antarctica: Wildlife” (2 Janet Kuypers full-color photography books from the first passenger ship to Antarctica in 2017), performance art books “Chapter 48 (v1)” (2009-2011) and “Chapter 48 (v2)” (2011-2018), the v5 cc&d poetry collection book “On the Edge”, and the interview/journal/poetry book “In Depth”.
|
|